Don't Ever Forget...I'm from New York

Get Over It!

2006-12-30T15:19:00.000-05:00

The box office in which I work was closed on the 23rd, 24th, and 25th of December. A perfectly reasonable holiday break. Even though no one was in the office and there was no show going on the box office was open for our patrons starting on the 26th.

I don't mind being busy upon our return but what brought out my ire was the attitude that some of these people had. They were angry and appalled that we had been closed the previous day...the 25th...Christmas Day. I understand that not everyone celebrates Christmas but a great many people in the world do and unfortunately the entire world shuts down on Christmas Day. If the holiday means nothing to you then it is just any other day, but that doesn't mean that others should have to work.

It is RUDE to call and yell at us because we were given some time off for the holiday. What if someone yelled at them when they went on vacation or took a day away from their responsibilites to recharge and relax. Something tells me that they wouldn't like it very much.

This is why I don't ask for phone numbers......

2006-12-30T14:36:00.000-05:00

I tend to avoid gay bars. I don't have anything against them but it's really not my scene. Every so often I find myself at one and remember all the reasons I don't go to them in the first place.

I recently went to a gay bar without even realizing that I was going to a gay bar. I had never heard of the place that we were going. Even when walking into the bar and spying two men who struck me as gay I didn't put the pieces together. Walking into a sea of muscle bound men in tight t-shirts that were not seasonal in the slightest brought everything into perspective however.

When we went outside to smoke we were making all sorts of friends. One was Joe a slightly balding not that cute but very sweet accountant from South Carolina. He was very interested in talking to me, but all I could think about when talking to him was the silver lipstick on half of his upper lip. His friends(Jacqu and Angela) were lovely and told us to come and say hi when we went back inside the bar.

We didn't say hello to them but when I went back outside to smoke I ran into to them again. Jaqu, a cute aspiring South African film director and fan of One Tree Hill, and I start to chat. Soon Joe decided to join the conversation to tell me how cute I am and to apologize for being southern. I don't know where the apology came from or for what reason so I just laughed a little bit. He gave me his card in case I "ever need an accountant". I politely took it. He offers to buy me a drink, I say no thank you. He offers to buy me a drink again, I say no thank you again. He offers to buy me a drink a third time followed by my third and slightly more annoyed no thank you. I could have just taken the drink, but then I would have felt obligated to continue conversing with this man. I don't want to be mean but he was a little too in my face for someone that I wasn't interested in.

Next Joe tells Angela I'm straight and that is why I'm not interested in him. Standing less then a foot away from me he thinks that he is whispering this to his friend Angela. He was actually shouting. I have given this man no reason to believe that I have any interest in him and he still proceeds to put his hands on my butt and kiss me on the cheek and kiss me on the cheek again and try to kiss me on the mouth. If he really thought that I was straight then I'm not sure what was going through his head. If he was calling me straight as a coy way of flirting with me it didn't work. I had to draw the line at physical contact. Not only was I not attracted to him but that little bit of silver lipstick was the only thing that I could focus on.

I did attempt to continue to talk to Jacqu while Joe was molesting me but the conversation didn't really start to go anywhere until Joe got the hint that he wasn't getting anywhere with me.

Cue a very rude European man. I say European because when he first came over to us he said that he was from France. Later in the evening he had no idea what we were talking about when we mentioned him being from France because apparently he was from Belgium. He obviously wanted to interrupt our conversation but rather then say excuse me he talked very loudly at us rather then to us. Realizing that neither one of us was going to acknowledge him he turned to Angela and says "Who would you rather have: that(yes, I'm the that he was referring to) or me(the Belgian/French guy)." Is he for real?

Throughout all of this Jacqu and continued to chat. Or at least we tried to. I decided to be bold and ask for his phone number. He gives it to me. Cue the Belgian/French guy to harass Jacqu some more. Jaqcu chose that moment to starts talking about his BOYFRIEND!

Mortified I slink away and delete the number in the cab.

All It Takes Is A Good Line

2006-12-09T17:11:00.000-05:00

Last night I saw the movie "The Holiday". It was fantastic. I had a smile that I couldn't get rid of for the entire length of the movie. I'm counting the days till this movie comes out on DVD. That's how much I loved it.

Jude Law was absolutely adorable in the film, but the man knew how to throw out a good line. I imagine that this is a characteristic that Jude shares with his character Graham.

My favorite line of his(mind you this is the paraphrased version of the line because for the life of me I can't remember the exact wording, but I loved the sentiment): "We're going to go and get lunch and get to know each other because I can't think of any more reasons not to."It was said with a cock of the head and a wry smile. I'm the reason that these romantic comedies are such successes because I'm the type of moviegoer who falls for that sort of thing hook, line, and sinker.

This is a line. There is no question about it. It may be sincere, but it is a line. He was trying to reel Cameron Diaz in and it worked. They went to lunch. Being a romantic comedy you can imagine how things end up, but this got me to thinking about my own life. If a cute boy were to say something like that to me I would walk right into it. I have fallen for worse. If a boy says something cute to me and smiles he's basically won the battle. More often then not it turns more comedic tragedy then romantic comedy but it still funny and somewhat charming. Not because it ends in a fairytale romance, but because it affords me with plenty of stories to someday be used in a book that chronicles my adventures in dating long after I've happily settled down with whatever gorgeous man sweeps me off my feet. That's what all these lines are leading to. Or at least that is what I like to tell myself. :)

I'm an intelligent man, but flash a cute smile, say something cute and my common sense goes out the window. Someone needs to shut that window so I stop losing my sense, but if that were to happen I would have nothing to write in my one day to be published dating chronicles. I guess that means I'm just going to have to keep falling for those lines.

Paging Jude Law......

Privacy Please!

2006-12-09T16:45:00.000-05:00

I'm of the school of thought that there is no reason for the urinal. It's a useless invention. Just because I'm a man doesn't mean I want to use the bathroom in front of the masses. I realize that there are many men who can go to the bathroom no matter where they are whether it be in a urinal or on the street. I'm not one of these individuals. I like to be in a stall. I like my privacy. I'll admit it....I'm pee shy.

A few nights ago I was at a friends reading and I went to use the one person bathroom. I thought that I locked the door, but in the middle of using the restroom the door opens and an old man walks in. The lock clearly was not working. Most people would say excuse me and step outside and wait. It was obviously a one person bathroom. Not this gentlemen. He was older and must have thought because I was a man I didn't mind having him stand there while I finished using the bathroom. That was a false assumption. Having him stand there watch me use the bathroom flustered me. I had to wash my hands quickly and get out of there because the man was not only standing there watching me but he was giving me definite signs that he was getting impatient with waiting. I'm sorry sir, but you are the one who barged in on me. You don't need to be getting angry with me.

I just needed to get that out there!

The Real World: Denver

2006-11-30T16:43:00.000-05:00

The Real World Denver is quickly turning into trashtastic television. If this is how these people behave in real life then God help them. Those casting people, however, knew EXACTLY what they were doing when they put these people onto the Real World. Here are a few of my thoughts on last night's episode:

After three days in Denver, Jenn is proclaiming that Colie will be in her wedding. Really?? I doubt that. Let's not forget that this is after Jenn thought that it would be a good idea to have sex with Alex knowing that Colie was very quickly developing more then physical feelings for him. Isn't that what everyone does to their bridesmaids????

Colie says she doesn't like the way that she is acting with Alex. Why don't you stop acting like that then. There is a novel idea. You have to live with these people. Must you create such tension on your first day in the house.

Stephen is already disgusted with these people. First he has to share a room with a homosexual! God forbid! Then after hearing Alex and Jenn discuss their hookup I'm pretty sure he is ready to condem them to hell. There was fire in his eyes when they were talking about. Don't get me wrong these two are not making the greatest impression in the world, but who is Stephen to judge them.

Why in God's name was Colie looking at Jenn when she was in the shower? Where was that hickey that Colie found? After three days there if Colie was being that up in my face while I was in the shower I would tell her just ease up. The shower isn't a time to have a discussion.

I cannot tell a lie..Jenn doesn't look so good without makeup.

I think that I'm really going to like Brooke. She was cracking me up when she was giving the guy that brought Colie home the once over.

Next week looks ridiculous and amazing all at the same time.

I haven't forgotten I once had a thriving blog....

2006-11-30T15:39:00.000-05:00

I haven't written a post in my blog since August. Despicable. Deplorable. I have no excuse. One day turned into two turned into a week turned into a month. This poor site started to grow moth balls, but it's never too late to get back on the horse. I thought that I would jump right into one of the more interesting things that has happened to me since I've ceased writing the blog. A lot of these entries tended to focus on the not so wonderful men that I found myself in encounters with. Not one to break from a trend I thought I would relay the tale of the barker.....

My 26th birthday was a raucuous good time filled with lots of friend many of which who though a fantastic gift would be bringing someone for me to hook up with. They walked in with men that I had never seen and took me aside to tell me that he was there for me. Were they aware that they were brought as gifts? The gesture was lovely if not a bit strange. Maybe if I had decided to hook up with one of them I would be relaying a different tale or registering for our committment ceremony. Somehow I doubt it.

The evening very quickly took a warm and fuzzy turn due to the many many oh wait let me say it again many shots that I had taken. Apparently 26 is the year of the shot. At one point I had to two tequila shots in quick succession. Tequila is probably my least favorite drink. I turned to my roommate Greg with pleading eyes hoping he would intervene and help me escape the wrath of a tequila shot, but he was unable to save me from my fate. In the midst of this tequila shot haze I was introduced to the "barker". I do remember his name, but I'm going to stick with the code name that doesn't have any meaning until much later in the story.

The barker was charming, handsome(thanks to the tequila) and very very very tall. The barker just happened to be at that bar. Most people in that bar had some sort of connection to me or someone that I knew. The barker did not. The barker and I chatted and made out and chatted and made out. I don't like to see people making out at bars and yet time and time again I will find myself doing it. I really shouldn't be pointing fingers at anyone. Eventually the barker and I decided to go back to his apartment right.

We found ourselves on the bed. We were making out. He breaks away from the making out to look me in the eye. I thought that perhaps he wanted to say something. Nope. He wanted to bark in my face. The man was barking in my face like a dog. I was drunk and confused so I didn't really know what to do, but I knew it was abnormal. Most people don't understand how I restrained myself from laughing in his face, but in my drunken haze I was just confused and dumbstruck. We made out some more and he barked some more. For the life of me I'm not sure why I stayed for the barking, but in my drunken state I decided to just go with it. In the midst of our making out he passed out on top of me. I told you earlier that the barker was tall. That was an understatement. I'm tall but this man was a giant. When I was kissing him outside of the bar I had to stand on my tippy toes in order to reach him. I'm 6'1. God knows how tall that he was. Maybe it was because he was so tall and his entire being was so large or maybe it was because I was so drunk, but I could not move the boy off of me. I tried to no avail and eventually just gave up and went to sleep myself.

When I woke up int he morning he wasn't on top of me anymore. I was hung over. What I should have done is leap out of the bed and head out of there. What I actually did was give myself a moment to compose my hungover head. That is the moment he managed to roll over on top of me again. Once again I couldn't move him. I was a fool for not seizing the window of opportunity, but a pounding headache can do that to you. When finally woke up again a couple of hours later more making out occured. I don't know why, but I suppose I could have rationalized it in my head that the barking was from being so drunk. Nope. After a few minutes of making he out he broke away from me and started barking again. Fully awake and completely sober I took this moment to tell him that I had to use the bathroom. He was under the impression that we were going to hook up some more. Wrong impression. I had enough of this barking. It was weird, and honestly I'm just not into it. There was no buildup or discussion. It was just barking. I got out of the bathroom and did not go anywhere near the bed. I threw on my clothes mumbling something about brunch plans. He walked me to the door. With every second that passed by my thoughts and prayers were that of him not asking me for my phone number. He didn't! Victory!!! He kissed me goodbye and I was on my way thinking that I would never see the barker again.

WRONG!

About a week ago I was riding the train to Times Square and the barker got on. I was sitting listenting to my ipod and reading soap opera digest. He was standing above me obviously trying to figure out where he knew me from. When we met I had a faux hawk, but recently I had decided to shave my head and be done with the faux hawk for the time being. That probably threw him off the trail, but not enough to shake my face from his head. He sat down next to me. I could feel his eyes boring into my head but I was determined to keep on listening to Panic! At The Disco and reading the week's recap of As The World Turns. The barker wasn't content with the mystery. He tapped me on the shoulder. I took one of the earphones out of my ear and turned toward him.

"Have we met?" he asked me in such a manner that led me to believe that he had already decided that we in fact did know each other. He either could not place or was being coy and knew exactly where he knew me from.

I looked him right in the eye, "No. I don't think so." I put my earphone in and went back to my soap opera digest.

I understand that this was not the nicest thing in the world to do. If someone did that to me I would hate it, but this is not a person that I wanted to welcome back into my life. What if I said yes I do know you...what are we going to talk about?

"Hey...remember that time that you barked at me when we drunkenly hooked up on my birthday??" Really. I don't see the need.

I'm not saying it is one of my prouder moments, but it is what it is.

Check This Out....

2006-07-10T17:06:00.000-04:00

So I've branched out a bit.

I've started to do some writing for a pop culture blog. I'm writing some soap opera news tidbits, and recaps of Big Brother: All Stars and Footballers Wives.

I've linked it on my blog. Just click on the Pop Culture Whore link and it will take you right there. I'm writing under the pen name of Soap Opera Whore. haha.

I'm still getting my bearings in what form I want these recaps to take so bear with me, but take a look, tell me what you think.

This doesn't mean that I'm abandoning this blog. I was just on a brief hiatus, but I'm back now and hope to post some things in the next couple of days!

The Meeting....

2006-06-30T18:05:00.000-04:00

Entire days would pass when no one would walk into the store that Trevor worked in. The owner, Mrs. Grabow, was a very eccentric old woman who paid Trevor an exorbitant amount of money to sit in the store. She fancied herself a patron of the arts. What appeared to be an endless supply of money wrote the paychecks for the writers, artists, actors, or anyone aspiring to be in the arts for doing nothing more then sitting. Trevor had met her once since had been hired. Every Monday morning a check would be on the counter waiting for him when he opened up the store. It was a bizarre situation, but it was better then filing.

The door was equipped with a very annoying bell that rang every time someone entered the store. Trevor looked up from his magazine when he heard the bell. Trevor’s sister, Anne, a raven haired beauty walked into the store. She had perfect skin, the body of a model, the appetite of a professional eater, and her idea of a workout was running downstairs to the corner deli to pick up a carton of ice cream. She was two years older then Trevor who had to spend a wretched amount of time in the gym just so he wouldn't balloon to three hundred pounds. Not an easy feat when you are a chain smoker. Anne was the golden child, the apple of their father's eye. Trevor was something else all together.

"Have I got news for you?" she said as she leaned over the counter eating the remains of a snickers bar.

"I don't want any news from you."

"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked.

"Every time you have news for me it usually ends up with me in the emergency room."

Anne would every so often get the urge to go on an adventure, and she always wanted Trevor to be the one to risk his life with her. Most recently they had gone whitewater rafting, rock climbing, and bungee jumping. The end of each day was capped off with a visit to the emergency room for Trevor. It wasn't the actual activities that led to his visit to the ER. Usually it resulted from Trevor's clumsiness post daring adventure. Trevor was more mindful of the fact that he was clumsy and uncoordinated when he was doing something that could kill him. However, when he was just walking around or living his day to day life he couldn't be constantly thinking about those things or he would never be able to think about anything else.

On the whitewater rafting trip Trevor was walking to the car after having survived being thrown from the raft and swept downstream, and was bit by a snake causing his leg to swell to epic proportions. Anne then decided it would be a good idea to suck the poison out of his leg, but instead tripped as she was walking toward him and bit his leg ripping a piece of flesh out. She was fine, but he had to spend two days in the hospital. On their rock climbing trip Trevor had complained, whined, grunted, and groaned but made it all the way to the top of the mountain, before Anne even. As he was pouring massive quantities of water down his throat practically missing his mouth he had his faced towards the sky, tripped over a stray tree limb, and broke his arm.

To actually get Trevor to bungee jump took more coaxing then the rest of these excursions. He and Anne were strapped together. She decided to make the jump without warning Trevor. Once it was all done and over with Trevor was a little too eager to get out of the harness. The cords then tangled themselves up in his arms and legs; he went rolling down a hill, and fractured his ankle He was on crutches for a month. Anne had tried to get him to go skydiving, but he drew the line at that. There was no way he was going to be throwing himself out of a plane with his sister anywhere in the vicinity. She seemed to bring pain and hospital bills down upon him.
"Just relax. I have a completely different adventure planned for us. It's really not an adventure for me. It's more for you. I'm not even going to be there."

"Go back to work.”

"We have summer Fridays. I don't have to go back to work."

"I hate you."

Anne smiled a knowing smile. She knew that Trevor wouldn’t want to do anything that she had come up with, but she also knew that her brother needed to be pushed into doing things. He wasn’t one to venture out of his comfort zone unless dragged kicking and screaming.
"So we hired a new freelance graphic designer at the agency to work on some campaign. I don't really even know which one. It's not one of mine, but he's really cute and so of course I moved right in for the kill. The problem is that he's not so much interested in me. He's more your type."
Trevor raised his eyebrow at her. Anne had tried to set him up in the past, and according to her his type was male and homosexual. There didn’t seem to be any other qualifiers. If they were a man who liked men then they were for Trevor. On more then one of these dates Trevor had excused himself to use the bathroom and never returned. The last guy that she had set him up with was Eric who she had met in line at the Duane Reade. All that she had known about him was that he shopped at the Duane Reade. When he asked Trevor if he wanted to go back to his place and play Alice in Wonderland Trevor stood up from the table without a word, left the restaurant, and vowed that he was never going to go out with another guy that Anne had set him up with.

Trevor got off of his stool and made his way for the door without acknowledging Anne. She followed him outside, and he lit a cigarette.

"You need to stop smoking."

"You need to stop setting me up on dates.”

"Granted in the past I haven't been that discerning, but this time is different. This guy is fantastic! His name is Matthew. He's smart, funny, sweet, and HOT! I get jealous at the thought that you could have him and I can't."

"How long have you even known him?"

"Three days."

"He could be psychotic. Or straight. Or both."

"I showed him your picture. He thinks that you are cute."

Trevor lit up a second cigarette, took a drag, and blew it into Anne's face. Anne coughed.

"My point exactly."

"If you don't go out with him, I'm just going to send him here."

"Don't you dare! I'm not kidding with you. I'm done with this discussion. Find something else to do other then harassing me."

Trevor turned around and walked back into the store without acknowledging Anne. She folded her arms and walked away. She knew that she was right about Matthew and Trevor. Trevor could find something wrong with anyone that he met. Anne had set him up with some duds, but Trevor also had a penchant for the dramatic. Once upon a time Anne had a good friend from college, Danny, who absolutely adored Trevor. Trevor was head over heels for Danny as well. One day Trevor decided that Danny liked him too much and broke up with him. It was completely out of the blue. Anne loved her brother, but he could be a selfish asshole. A part of him was only happy when he was miserable. There is only so long that that is cute. At twenty-five you can get away with it, but when you are a miserable forty-five year old gay man people just look at you and think bitter. Anne was not going to let Trevor drag her into old age alone and miserable. Yes, she had only known Matthew for three days, but she was sure that he was exactly what Trevor needed to get out of his funk. Anne took out her cell phone and dialed.

Trevor sat at the counter writing in a notebook. The only person who had walked into the store the entire day was Anne and she served to aggravate him far more then the occasional customer. At least the customers would browse through the clothes and random things in the store. With the exception of some footsteps and rustling things would remain blissfully silent, but as soon as Anne steps in the door it is like a tornado has hit. Her mouth never stops moving. Usually she doesn’t have anything of value to say, but that doesn’t stop her from talking. At least once a week Anne would meet someone that she thought was perfect for Trevor. She would then insist that they go out. When she first started to do this Trevor was open to it, but then she introduced him to Danny. Trevor like Danny, but Danny wanted to spend every waking minute together and when they were not together he wanted to be texting and calling. It was all just a little bit too much, but it was the guy who wanted to play Alice in Wonderland that was the last straw. There would be no more dates set up by Anne.

The door bell rang signaling that someone had entered the store. Trevor looked up for a moment and locked eyes with the most ruggedly handsome man that he had seen in his entire life. He was tall with broad shoulders and tossled brown hair that matched the five o'clock shadow that was growing on his face. His jeans fit him perfectly. It wasn't as if they were painted on, but they were tight in all the right places. He was wearing a fitted t-shirt, and when he took of his sunglasses revealing his piercing blue eyes he looked right into Trevor's eyes and smiled. For a moment Trevor smiled back, but then instantly he went back to staring at his notebook.
"Can I ask you a question?" the man asked Trevor, leaning in far closer then was necessary. Trevor could feel his pulse quicken, and wished that this guy would just leave. People that good looking shouldn't be allowed to talk to mere mortals like Trevor.

Trevor looked up and nodded.

"Are you Anne's brother?" he smiled. Trevor really did want to get angry. He wanted to yell and scream and send this gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous man screaming into the streets. But that wasn't going to happen. He was too good looking to send away on. Anne would get a stern talking to later and the severity of his sternness would all depend on how quickly this beautiful man noticed someone far better looking and left Trevor to cry because he would never attain such greatness in a potential boyfriend again.

"Yeah…I'm Trevor." Trevor responded then just stood there, staring at the ground.

"I guess that makes you the freelance graphic designer." Trevor finally said breaking the silence of his own creation.

He smiled again. He wouldn't stop smiling, which turned Trevor into a tub of melted I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. Trevor wanted to do nothing more then look at his own feet and occasionally steal a glance or two into his blue eyes. Not because he wanted to engage him in any sort of conversation, but because he had really great eyes. Luckily, Trevor's glances would come off as him being polite and looking at the guy when he spoke when Trevor really had no interest in being polite.

"I'm Matthew. I know that you told Anne that you didn't really want to meet me, but I thought I would come by anyway and see if you wanted to give me a chance on my own merit rather then on what sounds like Anne's very poor track record of setting you up."

This made Trevor smile.

"At least she will acknowledge to others that she has sent me on some very frightening dates."

That was all Trevor had to say. His mind went blank. What could he have in common with this tall hunky man? The word hunk is such a cliché, but that is what Matthew was. Trevor looked down at his didn't quite fit right H&M polo shirt, one size too big Old Navy jeans, and sketchers sneakers that were going to disintegrate at any moment and felt an immediate rush of clothes envy. He wanted to seem as put together as Matthew, but he didn't seem to inherit the flair for fashion and personal grooming that most gay men seemed to be endowed with.
The silence was beginning to grow uncomfortable. He didn't ask Matthew to come here. He told his good for nothing sister to make sure that he didn't, but for whatever reason Matthew felt compelled to come anyway and now he was standing in front of Trevor not speaking and just smiling and making Trevor feel all together uncomfortable. It really was up to Matthew to keep this conversation going. He was the one that wanted it.

"So I was thinking that we could go to dinner tonight….if you aren't busy?"

Matthew said, a hint of sheepishness creeping into his voice. He was good at putting on a confident air, but it didn't matter how many times people told him that he was a catch or that he should have no problem asking a guy out on a date. Every time that he had to do it he felt nervous. Matthew was very aware of what he looked like. Not in a vain or narcisstic way, but things tended to go his way and he knew that part of that was because of the way that he looked. Because of that he felt as if guys were intimidated by him. They saw that he was good looking and assumed that he was an asshole. The ones that did talk to Matthew were less then desirable. Some of them were hot, but most of them wanted nothing but sex. The ones that did want more then sex were usually insane. Matthew realized that if he wanted to find a boyfriend then he was going to have to take matters into his own hands. He didn't know Trevor from a hole in the wall, but he had felt an immediate connection with Anne. She immediately started talking up Trevor to him, and his picture had been adorable so Matthew decided that he wanted to meet him. Trevor wasn't as eager, but Anne seemed to think that Matthew should go anyway. Normally this is where Matthew would have called it day. Who wants to go and meet someone that has specifically told you to stay away? It wasn't as if Trevor was playing some sort of game. They hadn't even met. But something told Matthew to go anyway. didn't know Trevor, and he didn't really know Anne but something was telling him that this was the right thing to do. Or he was a glutton for punishment.

This Is What Comes Out of My Boredom.......

2006-06-24T13:11:00.000-04:00

I am so bored. I can't even describe the depths of my boredom to you my reading public so I'm going to write a story. Actually I've already started to write it, and maybe it sucks. Maybe it is stupid or maybe it is a future bestseller, but at the moment it just me entertaining myself. So here is a little tidbit of it.....

Once upon a time there was a boy named Trevor. Trevor was twenty-five years old, lived in New York City, worked in a thrift shop on Bleeker Street and was trying to find his voice as a writer.

Oh..........and he was gay.

There was another boy. His name was Matthew. Matthew was twenty-seven years old, lived in New York City, and was a wildly successful free lance graphic designer.

Oh.............and he was gay too.

Matthew lived a charmed life. There wasn't anything that didn't come natural to him. Trevor, on the other hand, couldn't walk down the sidewalk without tripping. Trevor's life was a series of calamities and disasters while Matthew followed a path of lucky pennies and fortuitous circumstances.

Matthew told his mother at sixteen years old that he was gay, and refused to allow anything but acceptance. He introduced her to all of his boyfriends. Trevor, on the other hand, had no desire to open up to his family. Occasionally he would bring home a girl and without out right saying it allude to the fact that she was his girlfriend. It was a Superman/Clark Kent situation. When at home he was Clark Kent, and while living his life in NYC he was Superman. But the glasses that he wore to disguise his true identity weren't very effective. Most people questioned how anyone could believe that Trevor had a girlfriend, let alone that he was straight.

On paper Trevor and Matthew are a match made in hell, but sometimes people who should be the worst together are the best. There is a reason that Paula Abdul's song, Opposites Attract, is an enduring hit. It speaks to the truth of matters of the heart. Whether you be a woman and a cartoon cat forever condemned to only be together on the blue screen or two gay men in varying degrees of being out causing confusion and pandemonium you never know what two people are going to be drawn together.

Big Brother: All Stars-Top 20

2006-06-22T10:44:00.000-04:00

Here it is. My breakdown of the Top 20. I'm going to let you get right into it rather then have you read while I wax poetically on the merits of choices made by the producers. My feelings become quite clear.

For the next week, the viewers get to vote for who they want in the house. The viewers decide three men and three women, and the producers pick three men and three women.

There are certain people on this list that I absolutely under no circumstance want to see voted into the house.

1. George(Season 1)- I enjoyed the first season when I was watching it, but I now realize how truly wretched it was. He just doesn't have what it takes to be on All Stars. He didn't even have to play the game when he was on Big Brother. It was a whole different experience.

2. Bunky(Season 2)- Enough with the crying. At the end of his interview he asked if we wanted to see a nice guy win the show. The answer to that question is yes, but I don't want to see someone who is going to let himself be walked all over and used as a puppet while having no other strategy. He was sniveling and annoying, and I don't want to spend another summer with him.

3. Mike "Boogie"(Season 2)- First of all that is a stupid name, and when I watched Big Brother 2 five years ago I thought it was a stupid name and to go with his stupid name is a wretched personality. He actually thinks that he is a better player then the winner of his season Dude you were the 4th evicted. You aren't all that great. Will is a better player, and far more attractive so please stop telling us how good looking you are. Uf anything you have gotten worse looking since your time on Big Brother! I will gag, and hope, and pray that he is the first person evicted from the show if the viewers or the producers are stupid enough to put him on it. Wasn't there someone else from BB2 that wanted to do All Stars. Shannon, Nicole, even Kent would have been better then this moron.

4. Dana(Season 4)- In my opinion Big Brother 4 is tied with Big Brother 1 as the worst season of the series. The only reason that Big Brother 4 is not the worst is because it does involve the game play, and Big Brother 1 foolishly allowed the viewers to vote out all the interesting players. I don't know who did the casting for Big Brother 4, but for the most part they selected uninteresting, stupid, and ugly contestants(Erika is an exception to all three characteristics). One of the worst of the bunch was Dana. Not only did she make the moronic move of betraying the original eight to align with the exes, but she was a troll of a woman who ran around the house chasing Justin into her bed. I hate her voice and I hate her face. I don't want to watch her all summer.

5. Cowboy(Season 5)- I realize that there are people out there who loved him while he was on the show. I was not one of them. He seems like a good natured individual so I'm not going to say anything bad about him other then the fact that he is boring. He has no real skill as a strategic player, and he puts me to sleep. Just let him enjoy being in the Top 20 and leave it at that.

6. Ivette(Season 6)- Too little, too late. I don't care if she dropped "the nerd herd". She is obnoxious. She seems to think that she is better then everyone, and she won't shutup. She thinks that she is so damn funny, but in reality her voice and the words that come out of her mouth are like nails on a chalkboard. I was forced to watch her all the way till the end of BB6 last summer. I was forced to watch her evict Janelle, the person who should have won BB6. Don't force me to watch her for yet another summer.

These two houseguests are people I have no need to see in the house, but I could manage to watch them for the summer if it was neccesary.

1. Alison(Season 4)- Everyone hates her. She would be a good person to put in the house for no other reason then to make her a target, but there are too many people that I want to see in the house to waste a spot on someone that I want to see out in the first week.

2. Diane(Season 5)- Frankly, I don't care about Diane either way. She did some things during her season, such as aligning herself with Drew and Cowboy, that I didn't really like, but nothing about her really inspired deep and abiding hatred. If this group were a little bit different I might have picked her to go into the house, but she is just too blah.

Drum roll please.......

My Top 6(Yes, I know there is going to be a top 12, but these are the six people that I want to actually help get into the house. These are the people that I want to be the final six contestants in the house. So follow the link and vote for them even if you don't watch the show!)

1. Janelle(Season 6)- There is just something about this girl that I love. She certainly has the capacity to be mean, but somehow that was overshadowed by the "Friendship". No one really seemed to think that she was smart, and she turned out to be the most strategic player in her season and one of the most strategic players of the entire series. Both phyiscally and mentally. I would love to see her take this to the end. She should have won Big Brother 6, so let's hope she can bring back that fire during all stars. Plus, I loved me some Kaysar/Janelle alliance action so I'm hoping that we're going to have a repeat of that. But that could be dangerous for my girl because if they are both brought into the house everyone is going to assume that they are aligned which could put a huge target on their backs.

VOTE FOR JANELLE

2. Kaysar(Season 6)- Kaysar, if it comes down to you and another player, who is looking for anyway to get you out of the house, in an HOH competition do not let them win based on the word that they won't nominate you. They will. I don't care if he or she swears on their life. I know you are a better player then that. That was perhaps one of the worst moves in BB history, but I don't think that it should reflect on Kaysar as a player. He is smart, and knows how to read people. Plus he is damn hot and I want to get to look at him for a longer period of time over the course of this summer.

VOTE FOR KAYSAR

3. Marcellas(Season 3)- The man is not the best player, but he is damn funny. I spent the summer of Big Brother 3 laughing at the words that were coming out of his mouth. I'm not sure if some of the more recent houseguests are going to want to have Marcellas around after his stint hosting House Calls which gives him quite the insight into the way that houseguests are playing the game, but if they are smart they will want him around if for no other reason then how entertaining it would be to watch Marcellas and Janelle together.

VOTE FOR MARCELLAS

4. Danielle(Season 3)- There is no doubt that Danielle is a fantastic player. As much as I love my girl Janelle there is a part of me that wouldn't be mad at all if Danielle walked into this game and took the whole thing. I think that Danielle became somewhat villified after her season, but she was honest in those diary room sessions, and what did this honesty bring to me? Laughter. She made no qualms about what she was saying, and more often then not she threw humor into her attacks on the other players. This isn't the real world. We need some snarky comments to keep things interesting.

VOTE FOR DANIELLE

5. Lisa(Season 3)- Lisa herself admitted that she rode coattails to the end and the win, but what is wrong with that? Isn't that a strategy within itself? Yes. Can she do it again? No. She needs to show that she has some game play in her. Frankly, I doubted she was even going to be around very long when she hooked up with Eric, and I didn't even start to like her until Eric was evicted, the best thing that ever happened to her in that game. She did make a fantastic strategic move in voting Amy rather then Eric back into the house. Once she became Lisa, rather then Lisa and Eric, I really did start to root for her. I like her a lot, but for me to root for her again she will need to step up her game play.

VOTE FOR LISA

6. James(Season 6)- HOT! I don't care what anyone says, but that boy is hot. He doesn't even need to bring any shirts with him if he gets into the house. Just walk around shirtless for three months. Physical apperance is not the only reason that I want him in the house. He managed to dominate the game far longer then he should have been able to with no allies and evey member of that house gunning for him. Imagine what he could do if he formed an alliance that lasted? Or if there was someone in the house to hate besides him?

VOTE FOR JAMES

My remaining top 12 are the people from the list that I would like to see in the house, but I'm not going to help them get there.

7. Erika(Season 4)- Erika was the best part of the worst season of Big Brother. She might have been interesting because everyone else was not, but this would be her chance to prove that she can shine among the best and not just amongst the worst.

8. Howie(Season 6)- How can you not love Howie? I can't say that I would have chosen him for my Top 20, but with the contestants that I hav to choose from he definitley makes the cut. AND....I know he won't vote against Janelle or Kaysar so if nothing else he is an ally for them.

9. Monica(Season 2)- She is another house guest that I liked, bu wouldn't have neccesarily chosen to be on All Stars. I think that she is funny, and will bring something interesting to the house, but I can't imagine that she will make it very far.

10. Will(Season 2)- FANTASTIC PLAYER! Everyone hated him, and he still managed to win. Every week there was talk of voting him out, and yet they never did. He is probably the player that deserved to win the most strictly on the merits of game play. People are wise to his tricks, though, so he may have to adapt the way that he plays the game.

11. Nakomis(Season 5)- I don't hate her, and I don't love her, but she was a good player. If I had not had so many people in the potential 20 that I abhored I don't know if Nakomis would have made my listT hat being said I think that if she were to get onto the show she would do well.

12. Jase(Season 5)- I hate Jase less then I hate some of those other people, and that is why he gained a spot in my top 12. No other reason. He isn't a good player. He is a buffon who thinks that he is funnier, smarter, and better looking then he actually is. That being said, I'd rather watch him then Ivette.

Be On The Lookout...

2006-06-22T10:34:00.000-04:00

So if you come to my blog with any frequency, I want to let you know that I'm going to be putting up a post about Big Brother: All Stars at some point today. But this is a post like one I have never done before, so even if you don't have any interest in Big Brother: All Stars you should take a look at it anyway! :)

Apparently....

2006-06-21T17:39:00.000-04:00

The list that I thought was a leaked copy of the 20 former houseguests in the running to be on BB: All Stars was actually the second list leaked to cbs.com, and is thought to be a red herring to throw savvy internet users off the scent because the original list is thought to be the actual list. The word list was used a lot in that sentence.

I'm not going to go through and create a second preliminary top tweleve, but fret not because you will be getting the top tweleve that I actually hope for based on the top 20 candidates that are presented to us by none other then Julie Chen.

Oh how we have missed the Chen!

Tonight is the night!!!

2006-06-21T14:43:00.000-04:00

The 20 Potential Big Brother All Stars are revealed in tonight's casting special.

And then immediately after the voting begins.

That's right. I'm going to be voting.

Janelle and Kaysar had better be among the candidates. That's all I'm saying.

Come back tomorrow for my thoughts, and my potentially updated list of the 12 contestants that should be back for All Stars.

I'm more excited then any person should be for the arrival of Big Brother: All Stars.

Why I Love Coral.......

2006-06-20T14:33:00.000-04:00

I have to admit that I have found the past couple of Real World/Road Rules Challenges a bit lackluster. I kept watching, and they have all had their moments, but there was something missing.

It was the superstars of Real World/Road Rules yesteryear. The seasoned vets who probably thought they needed to either retire or take a break from these challenges. You were wrong! Thankfully, with this latest edition, Fresh Meat we have the return of Tina, Tonya, Shane, Theo...but most importantly we have the return of Coral.

There is no Real World/Road Rules alum that I love more then Coral. She has penned such classic lines as....

"I don't wrestle, I beat bitches up."

"Worry about yourself, and your jump rope."

This morning before going to work I watched last night's edition of the challenge, and basically it seems the focus has moved onto the unraveling relationship of Wes and Johanna of the Real World: Austin. Basically, Wes treats Johanna like shit. She has been taking it. He says that she is the weakest player, and that she has no athletic ability.

Thankfully, Coral and Evan won this week's challenge. Of course they put in Wes and Casey. Why not get rid of these Austin people instead of their friends. I can dig it. The newbies are always the target. Maybe the next challenge they can all gang up on the Key Westers that invariably come onto the challenge. I mean you know John and Svetlana are READY to hit the airwaves again!

Wes then goes into a rampage threatening everyone with his wrath if they put Johanna into the elmination with him. They are not afraid of Wes, and have every intention of putting Johanna in. AS IF they are going to put Tina in. They are all friends with Tina. Wes then explodes at Johanna because she won't campaign against Tina. Normally, I would agree with Wes and think that Johanna should campaign, but in this case she is right. There is nothing that she can say to change these people's minds so she might as well except the inevitable. Wes, however, is a moron and just screams at her and calls her a moron...IN FRONT OF EVERYONE! NOT COOL!

We then cut to Coral talking about Wes:

"If you don't want your girlfriend sent into elimination, then tell the bitch to win something."

Coral breaks it down. Not the most clever line, but delieverd in that Coral fashion it is nothing but classic!

Johanna is sent into elimination, unless she wins the next challenge and can take herself out. Her and Wes aren't speaking. I think they may even be broken up. Now everyone is rooting for Johanna, and she wants to win. Not so much for the winning, but to beat Wes.

Do I think that these two are over for good? Of course not. They are so deliciously dysfunctional that they are going to of course find their way back to each other. If they are both sent into elimination then I hope that Johanna wins because I hate even looking at Wes. Something tells me, though, that Wes will once again emerge victorious.

Grrr....

Your Are Not Better Then Me......

2006-06-20T14:22:00.000-04:00

Do you know what really aggrevates me?

Reading interviews with television stars who say either:

A. They don't watch television

or

B. They don't own a television.

If you are on a hit primetime television show or a daytime soap opera I can understand why you wouldn't have time to watch television. To say that there simply aren't enough hours in the day and so you don't watch television is perfectly acceptable. But that is not what is said. What is said is...."I don't watch television." as if they are too good to watch television. Yes, you do. You do too watch tv. And if you really don't then why are you on it. How are you going to act as if you are above watching television and then work in that genre. You aren't likening yourselves to the fan. I love television, and there are a lot of very well written and intelligent programs on it(there are also programs that are the exact opposite and they too serve their purpose). I'm not any less intelligent because I love television.

Really....you don't own a television? Why not? Who doesn't own a televsion? Fine.... you don't watch TV, but don't you watch movies. Or the Oscars? Or the news???? Do you ever babysite? Your probably making a decent living...buy a tv, even if it is a small one.

Please Don't Stick Your Cigarette In My Face

2006-06-20T14:01:00.000-04:00

Yesteday I went to Nickel Spa For Men, the gayest place on earth, located in the heart of Chelsea. I needed to get my eyebrows and shoulders waxed. I'm not ashamed to admit that I have to get my shoulders waxed. There is hair that does not belong there, and I take care of it. There is no shame in admitting that you have such a thing if you're taking care of it. There should not be hair on parts of my body that I have to crane my neck to see.

But that is not the point.

The point is this. I was standing outside of Nickel smoking a cigarette before I went int, and this man who was walking past me stopped, and moved into my face as if he was going to kiss me. But his intentions were not amorous. He had a cigarette in his mouth, and he wanted to use my lit cigarette to light is. This is unacceptable for multiple reasons.

1. Who are you? I don't know you. Don't stick your face in my face. I don't want to make out with you.

2. Use your words. If you want me to light your cigarette then ask me if I have a lighter or a match or if I can take the cigarette out of my mouth, and use it to light yours.

3. Don't look at me like I'm crazy when I move away from you because I am startled by the fact that you a strange person off of the street clearly stopped dead in your tracks to invade my personal space.

Use your words people. Use your words.

Big Brother 7: All Stars Watch

2006-06-17T16:07:00.000-04:00

I love reality television. Yes, my love for competition based reality show started with Survivor, but there is no reality show that I love more then Big Brother. First of all it is on three times a week. This I love. Once a week is just not enough for me.

Secondly, this show is chock full of strategy. There are so many stages to actually getting someone evicted that I like to be a de facto player, playing along with those in the house. Granted, I can see what can be done more clearly because I am watching, and not actually in the house, but I have no dobut that if I were to be cast on Big Brother I would win. I know this game like the back of my hand, and I will continue to try to get on it until they cease to produce it. The latest edition is an All Star edition. On one hand this is disappointing because I cannot throw my hat into the ring as a potential participant, but on the other hand this is extremely exciting because it allows me to see some of my favorite players pitted against one another.

A casting special of Big Brother is going to air on Wednesday in which the 20 potential houseguests are going to be revealed to the public. From that day until July 5th, the viewers are going to be able to vote on who they want in the house. Honestly, if it were simply left to the viewers there probably wouldn't be all that much conflict in the house so thankfully the producers are allowing the viewers to pick three men and three women, but they are going to choose the remaining six contestants to ensure that past players who may not have been the most liked but who will create the best television will have a spot on the show.

Apparently, CBS may have had a bit of a technical snafu and posted the potential twenty houseguests on their website ever so briefly. This could be a way to throw us off balance and really surprise us when they make the announcement, or it could simply be a mistake thus giving us truly devoted fans an early sneak peek.

Here is the list:

Alison
Amy
Brittany
David
Diane
Drew
Erica
Jack
James
Janelle
Jason
Josh
Kaysar
Maggie
Mike
Monica
Nicole
Roddy
Shannon
Will

(I am going to let you all know which of these tweleve I would like to see on the show, but let me just say that I see some very notable omissions from this list: Danielle, Will Wikle, Marcellas, and Nakomis, which basically means that I hope that a part of this list is right and I hope that a part of it is very wrong).

My Top 12 based on the potential top 20:

1. Janelle-Perhaps my favorite Big Brother contestant in the history of the game. She certainly was the best player of her season, and she could very well have been the best player ever except for the fact that she wasn't able to win. The best players are not neccesarily always the ones to win though.

2. Kaysar-Yet another BB6 contestant who ranks among my favorite BB Houseguests. He was robbed TWICE, but to be fair he shouldn't have trusted Jennifer thus ensuring the demolition of the Soverign Six. I would love to see Kaysar and Janelle team up again, but if they do that it may need to be a secret alliance because they are a formidable team. If they are both in the house they could be an easy pair to target right away.

3. Jason- The boy was too cute. He was in a fantastic alliance in the fantastic 3rd season(which along with 5 and 6 ranks as my top three seasons). He was a part of a final three(with Lisa and Danielle)that I would have been happy with any of the three winning. When they came together in an alliance I couldn't have been happier. Ultimately Lisa won Big Brother 3, but I would love to see what Jason could do without Danielle(based on the rumored top 20)

4. Erica- Simply put I really liked her. She was perhaps one of the only things that I liked in the very disappointing season four of Big Brother. It was a lackluster season with a lackluster cast, and I would like to see Erica get a chance to compete with more savvy and interesting players becuase I think that she does have the potential to be outstanding in this game.

5. Will- I am assuming that this is the Will of Big Brother 2. I would love to have Will from Big Brother 5 on here as well, but it would seem logical to think that they would want to get BB2 Will back because not only was he one of the most popular, if not because people loved to hate him, players but he was also one of if not the most deserving winners based strictly on game play. He managed to make it through almost the entire game with a target on his back. That is something. Plus, he's so damn adorable that I wouldn't mind another summer of shirtless Dr. Will! :)

6. Shannon- To be clear there is nothing that I like about Shannon. She seemed mean and spiteful simply for the sake of being those things. There was no apparent depth to her, but this is television and the girl is unpredictable. She washed the toilet with Hardy's tooth brush and then neglected to inform him. Is that disgusting? Absolutely. Is that good television? Absolutely. Add that to the fact, that when she was on Big Brother 2 she had a "showmance"(I did not coin this term...I think it was Amy and Nick from the Apprentice: Season 1 as a way to define their on screen flirtation)with Will that ended....I imagine it didn't end well. Maybe they will reunite? Or maybe Shannon will turn her unpredictability against Will and get him oustered from the beginning? I don't want Kaysar or Janelle to trust her, but I wouldn't mind if they used her to do a little dirty work and further themselves along in the game. There needs to be at least one or two pawns on every season, and Shannon fits the bill this season.

7. James- I don't know who was responsible for casting Big Brother 6, but they need to be hired back for any subsuquent season of Big Brother because they picked some of the best players in the history of the show. James was a shrewd player, and he made it incredibly far in the game with essentially EVERY one in the house gunning for him. Ultimately, he fell victim to the vendetta of the house guests, but even though the house made him out to be a villian there was SOMETHING about him. He wasn't completely evil. There was a part of you that liked him even though you didn't want to. Plus, if Janelle and James combined their prowess this time they could be unstoppable. That doesn't mean I want Janelle to drop Kaysar, but rather I want Kaysar, Janelle, and James to form an alliance and stick to it this time. Luckily, Howie won't be around to be pressured into nominating him.

8. Nicole- Big Brother 2's memorable runner up seemed to become more and more unhinged as the season progressed, and I want to see that all over again. Here is yet another player that I want around simply as someone for my favorites to get rid of. Plus, what is it going to do to her to be trapped in a house with Will all over again? Could she perhaps pull it together and join forces with Shannon to get rid of him...or maybe they would form a Season 2 alliance pitted against what I hope will be a season 6 alliance of James, Kaysar, and Janelle? Big Brother 2 was certaily not my favorite season, but it introduced to some very memorable houseguests. Nicole was supposed to be the first person voted out the house, but managed to stay and form a solid alliance. Can she do that again? Has she learned from her mistakes???

9. Roddy- Danielle dubbed him the devil, and I went along with it because I was on the Danielle bandwagon so while I didn't neccesarily see Roddy as the devil I did want him out of the show because he wasn't aligned with my people. That being said, the man is charming. Maybe his charms were just in the wrong house? Roddy and Erica might be a perfect fit for an alliance. They were two players who were overshadowed in their own season. Maybe they could emerge as an unstoppable duo in all stars. The All Stars doesn't neccesarily have to be all the best players, perhaps a mix of the best players with some of the players with the best potential. Roddy falls somewhere in between those two extremes, but this could be his chance to show us what he is truly made of as a player.

10. Amy- Another train wreck. All the girl did was drink which was no small part of her eviction from the house. Then they voted her back into the house, and she then drank and drank and drank some more. But there was a spark between her and Roddy that wasn't able to be fully explored because of her allegiance to other players. Maybe this time Roddy could use her to do his own bidding. Something tells me that she hasn't learned enough to be a power player.

11. Josh- Of the guys that are left to choose from there are none that I want to see again. Most of them were boring. At least Josh was a character. Plus he has some history with my choice of other Big Brother 3 contestants. Someone has to be the first to go, and that is as good a reason as any to bring Josh into the house.

12. Alison- This last spot was tough. Originally I wanted to go with Diane, but she just wanted to be interesting more then she actually was. Another part of me wanted to go with Brittany, but she was so sweet in Season 1, and I don't know if I want to expose her to all this deciet and scandal. Alison is another player that I cared nothing for, and something tells me that nobody else did either. But she comes into the game with a built in target which takes the heat off of James, Janelle, and Kaysar. That I like.

Those are my choices. Based on the twenty players that are revealed on Wednesday, I will revise if I have to.

Why?

2006-06-10T15:30:00.000-04:00

I decided to get Subway for lunch today. I left my post at the window and walked over to 42nd and 9th. I ordered my sandwich, and as the subway attendant was putting everything on my sandwich, I turned to see the man, and not a skinny man, next to me getting condiments put on his sandwich.

The subway attendant that was helping him started to put mayo from those squeeze bottles onto the sandwich, and it seemed like he never wanted her to stop. I think that she may have used half that bottle on his sandwich. At this point I could see nothing but mayo and bread.

This is gross. I like mayo, don't get me wrong, but no one needs that much mayo. That is a fact. It's too much. Add that to the fact that he was overweight and clearly not in shape it makes me ask the question why do that to yourself? Cutting out the mayo is a an excellent, and easy, step in making your diet just a little bit healthier. If you really must have mayo, just add a touch for flavor. Don't make the actual contents of the sandwich the condiments for your mayo.

It almost made me lose my appetitie. Almost.

Experiment.....

2006-06-08T11:34:00.000-04:00

So I got one response to the ad I posted on craigslist. It was brief.

Hey,

I hear ya bro. Don't give up.

I'm a writer too... playwright, actually. Maybe we could have coffee
sometime.

Good luck with your search.

Now with what little information that I have I did a little search on the internet to see if I could find out any information about this person. First of all he is far older then anyone that I would ever want to date. I found his website. I find it too mean to post his website on my blog for the sheer purpose of saying how I want nothing to do with the guy. But I don't have a problem with discussing it.

The age thing aside, upon perusing the pictures on his website I came to the very fast realization that I could never be attracted to this person. He could have the most sparkling personality on the face of the planet, and I would not find him physically attractive at all. Is that shallow of me? Maybe a little bit, but if you are going to date someone you need to be physically attracted to them. You may be asking yourself why I don't just meet the guy and become his friend. That is not what this is about. I've got many many many wonderful friends, and I'm always open to making new friends, but I think in this particular case it defeats the purpose of what it is that I'm trying to do.

If by Monday I don't get any more responses I'm going to try this again with a different ad. I'm not sure what that ad will be, but that is a thought for another day.

Pure Power Boot Camp: Day 3

2006-06-08T11:15:00.000-04:00

I realize I keep saying that I'm not going to write about boot camp everyday, and then each day that I go a new post shows up, but it has only been the first three days so there is always something new and exciting to report. I imagine as it all becomes more routine I'm going to have less to say about it.

Today was not easy. Sometimes I don't think that I'm going to make it past the first five minutes, but then we start to focus on different parts of the body and the ones that feel as if they are about to fall off get a slight rest. I was on the obstalce course again today, and I have to say that as far as work outs go this one is incredibly difficult, but at the same time it is incredibly FUN! I was leaving class today and I realized that even though I had endured a great deal of pain over the past hour, I also had a lot of fun. I'm as amazed as anyone at this, because as much as I came to appreciate going to Barry's Boot Camp I never actually enjoyed it. There was never anything but dread when I got up to go there. Yet another reason that I find Pure Power Boot Camp far superior to Barry's Bootcamp. Fun....fans circulating the air...and instructors who push you to go beyond what you think you can do in a constructive manner.

All of that being said....there was another member of the class who was bugging me a bit today. I was just to hoist myself over a very very tall wall. I have to run and jump and grip and then climb up the wall with my feet. It is one of the harder physical exertions I have engaged in, and it reminds of something that they would do on the Real World/Road Rules Challenge. Those things are much harder then they look. I have a newfound respect for reality show contestants. This guy kept telling me how to do it and what to do, and I was trying my hardest, and he wasn't an instructor and he kept going on about how he couldn't do it. Truth be told, I think that he was trying to be helpful, but he was being sort of pushy and I think getting aggrevated when I wasn't following his instructions to a tee. I'm not there to be reprimanded by other members of the class. All of that being said, he was talking to me after class and he was a very nice man. I just think he needs to work on his helping people out approach.

Pure Power Boot Camp: Day 2

2006-06-07T19:43:00.000-04:00

Just to be clear I will not be posting a day by day account of my experiences at PPBC because I imagine that some days are going to be no more interesting then me running around or jumping over walls with nothing much of note or importance to discuss.

But there are going to be days that there are things to report. Today is one of those days. The first thing is yet another comment on why I, even after the second day, prefer Pure Power Boot Camp. There actually will be more then one comment now that I think about it. We don't run on the treadmill. I hate the treadmill, and Barry loved to have us on the treadmill. Yes, at PPBC we do do laps around the course, but it's not on a treadmill and it is certainly not for a half an hour period. There is running throughout the entire hour, but it is intermixed with strength training. I much prefer this. There is not a treadmill in sight, and I like that.

Additionally, PPBC is not a room that is so stifling that you feel as if you are going pass out because of the heat in the air. Barry didn't like to turn the fans on or keep the door open. He liked to create a hotbox to further the torture. That is the thing...he liked to torture us. It sometimes seemed to be more about torture then working out, which gave results but not my preferred method of getting results. Others seemed to thrive on it. I did not. At all. Yes, I was in fantastic shape, but sometimes I felt like the bastard stepchild of the class among the very much in shape gay men that Barry fawned over. I might as well have been a girl as far as he was concerned, because the girls didn't get much attention either.

It's a whole new world at PPBC. There is air circulation. We are working hard. I think I'm working harder then when I was at Barry's. But I'm able to push myself further because I'm able to breathe. I'm not sure if the ac is running, or there are fans, or windows open(I looked around, but couldn't quite figure it out-I know that sounds ridiculous but it is true) but there is air moving. Cool air. It helps to invigorate you. Also, I'm digging the fact that there is only one other guy in the class. I don't want a bunch of muscluar, six pack abs, models doing these things with me. I like that I'm in a group of girls who are clearly in shape, but struggle with these exercises like a normal person. There is another guy, but I don't find him all that intimidating the way that I do with just about any guy that I see in a physical fitness setting. Perhaps it's residual anxiety over gym class. The instructors are fantastically motivating, and seem to push people exactly when they need to be pushed. Is the class torture? Of course it is. Am I glad I'm doing it? OF COURSE! I love being pushed beyond what I would push myself to do when working out.

Today's class literally flew by. At the end of the class when it was time to come in and do the group situps that we do, I literally thought that he was kidding. I couldn't believe an hour had passed already. I was AMAZED. My amazement was so profound that I had to say it outloud to which one of the instructors replied with something about time flying when you are having fun. I wouldn't quite go that far. But time does fly when you're not concentrating on the time, but rather on the squats that you are doing while holding a tire over your head. Somehow, the notion of when you are going to be out of the class leaves the mind, and you just want to be finished with the tire. I wonder why.

The Bunker

2006-06-07T13:20:00.000-04:00

I was raised Catholic. I went to Catholic school from grade 1 through grade 12. Up until about the summer before my senior year of high school I went to church just about every Sunday. I was never really into church, but it catholicism has always been a part of my life, and thus there are a lot of things about it that I do believe in. That's not to say that I'm a practicing Catholic, but if I were pressed to identify a religious affiliation it would be Catholic.

Hell and the devil, integral parts of the Catholic religion, have always scared me...probably a little bit too much. I don't know why such an irrational fear of the devil exists in my head, but it is there. Let's be honest, the devil is not going to come up out of the ground and try to get me. And yet the fear exists. One would think that with such an irrational fear it would send me running to church every sunday and then some, but that is not the case. Short of weddings and funerals I rarely, if ever, go to church. I'm not even an A&P(ashes and palms)Catholic. Yet the fear persists, but at the same time I am FASCINATED and ENTHRALLED with works of fiction that involve the devil, evil, and all things scary. I read an entire Christian Book Series entitled, Left Behind, because it was about the end of the world. I could not get enough of it....there were twelve books in the series. It was a commitment. I love scary movies, and ones that involve the devil and the more plausible the blend of reality and the supernatural is, the more that I love it. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Charmed, Angel...the list goes on. Supernatural shows suck me in.

Yet the devil continues to frighten me. As you can imagine I was not thrilled with the prospect of 6/6/06. I realize that it is actuall 6-6-2006, but the three sixes just did not leave me with a warm tingling feeling, and thus the idea of the bunker was born. A twenty-four hour period in which I would not leav the house. Two of my dear friends thought that it was a great idea, and signed up to do it with me. And another came and visited and spent a few hours with us. I love my friends. They indulge my completely irrational fears and notions. They are fantastic.

Of course nothing happened. It was a fun day. We chilled out and didn't do anything. It ended with my roommate bringing home a feast of Kentucy Fried Chicken...that's right...KFC. When it comes down to it, I would have left the house if the need arose. Most of the motivation behind this was to be whimsical and fun, but there was a part of me that liked the idea of not running around on 6/6/06. Completely irrational because if something that big were to happen it probably wouldn't have mattered if I was in my apartment, on the subway, standing in Times Square, or on the top of the Empire State Building.

Mouthwash

2006-06-07T13:15:00.000-04:00

When is the wrong time to use moutwash?

When you are waiting for the subway. I was standing on the subway platform waiting for my train when I turned to witness a man take a swig of what I think was listerine. It could have been another brand, but it was definitley mouthwash.

The train didn't come for another five minutes. I knew this because I kept looking at the clock impatiently willing the train to come. The man kept swishing the mouthwash in his mouth for that entire five minutes. We got on different cars, but I watched him continue to swish the mouthwash around in his mouth as we got on our respective cars.

What is the appeal of this? Is it even good for you? We were at Union Square, what if he was going very far uptown? Was he just going to spit that out onto the floor?

The whole thing seemed ridiculous to me.

Experiment...

2006-06-05T15:22:00.000-04:00

So who wants to go on a little journey with me?

I'm going to post an add on craigslist looking for people to date. Not because I expect to find the love of my life through an online ad, but because I think it will be fun to see where it leads me and have you all follow me through my little online adventure.

Sound good? Ready? Ok...here is the ad that I posted....

Looking for Love In All The Wrong Places:

If you read the title of my post you will see that my quest for love has not yielded many positive results, and I have a feeling that looking for anything other then random sex on craigslist qualifies it as one of those wrong places, but why not. The worst thing that will happen is that no one will respond to my ad, and that will be the end of it.

I'm not very good with the random hookup as much as I have tried. It just doesn't ever seem to go right for me, and I've started to take that as a sign that I'm just not a random sex kind of guy. I like there to be a little something more behind the sex, and I would like to know someone a little bit before I get naked with them. I know it sounds crazy, but it's this new thing that I'm trying.

I'm a twenty-five year old pseudo professional who dreams of being a writer, but still isn't quite sure what to write about. I'm a nightowl who tends to have to get up early so I rarely get enough sleep. I spend a lot of time with my friends and a lot of time with my DVR. I'm cute and funny, but not hot and hysterical.

And.....

I'm not going to put up a picture in this ad. Are you shocked? I want the personality in these words to speak to someone and have that make them want to respond to me. Once that happens then I will send a picture. I'm sure some of you are reading this and think that there is some sort of ulterior motive for me not wanting to send a picture. There isn't. I'm not concieted, but I know I'm cute. I just think that it shouldn't be all about that. If you want to send a picture to me that is fine, but be clothed and don't have it be of anything that I would have to take your clothes off to see.

And that is that. I look forward to any and all responses.

Soooo.....that ad may not sound like it was written by a person who doesn't expect anything from the ad, but I figure I might as well put what I want out there. I don't expect anything other then some funny stories to come out of it, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't be open to the possibilty of something else(HA! YEAH RIGHT! :) )

Stay tuned.....

The Things That I Will Do For A Pretty Face...

2006-06-05T15:16:00.000-04:00

Earlier today I was walking down University, and I saw two young guys standing on the corner of 13th and University trying to get people to stop and talk to them about the human rights campagin. There are so many people on the street trying to stop you that you tend to start just blocking them out. Plus, if I'm walking down the street by myself nine times out of ten I have my ipod on. They were engaged with other people when I walked by so they didn't try to stop me.

They were cute boys which means that I was compelled to look back. I wanted them to stop me. I wanted to talk and perhaps flirt with one of the cute boys. So what did I do....I walked right past them on my trip back...and I talked and flirted with one of the cute guys.....and now I am donating ten dollars a month to the HRC...that's right.

I should be giving back in some way, but it serves me right that in all my manipulation...well I really just walked back on the same street.....I'm now a contributer to the HRC.

YAY FOR GAY MARRIAGE! haha. :)

Pure Power Boot Camp: Day 1

2006-06-05T14:47:00.000-04:00

Anyone who has listened to me talk about going to PPBC knows that the largest concern that I've had is where I was supposed to do the five pushups that are required once stepping off the elevator. Of all the things that could be worrying me about starting this particular workout regime, that should have been the last thing that I was pre-occupied with, but my mind loves to worry about the small details rather then the larger notion that I'm soon going to be running through some sort of miliatry obstacle course. I wasn't even worried about the pushups themselves, I did hundreds when I was at Barry's, but rather their damn location.

It turns out that I could have not done those five pushups, and I'm pretty sure that no one would have noticed. I did, however, do them. As I was walking off of the elevator the girl in front of me dropped and did five pushups right in front of me, so I just followed suit.

Let me say that these marine instructors aren't all that scary. They are clearly well built individuals, and they may or may not have been in the marines, but they are obviously there to push us out of our comfort zone, but not frighten us or torture us. This was a welcome relief. Don't get me wrong I still would have gone even if they were there to instill fear in our hearts, but it's nice to see that they weren't just there to yell. It was also nice to see that they realized that some of us were new, and some of us(being me) hadn't really worked out in five months, and thus were not on par with some of the other members of the class, which was made up of about fifteen girls and one other guy besides me, who was kind of cute when he was running around all sweaty and then less so when I actually conversed with him.

This place is worlds away from Barry's Boot Camp. The biggest difference being that everyone in the class helps to push and support each other. They cheer you on, and more then one person in that class asked how I was doing and if I was okay since they realized that it was my first day. That sort of thing did not happen at Barry's. That's not to say that some of the people at Barry's weren't nice, because they were, BUT....there was not the instant cammraderie that I felt upon entering this class. Barry's was like freshmen year of high school when the cool kids did not talk to the kids who were in the clique, and PPBC seems more like senior year of high school when most people have let a lot of that nonsense go and there is an inter-mingling of the cliques.

The beginning of the class was fairly standard. There were laps, and there were pushups and squats and all of that fun stuff, butwhat made this workout different came next. That's right...it was time for the obstacle course. They took us new peeps aside, and some of the more experienced "privates" to demonstrate the course for us. The first part of it was jumping over hurtles. I wouldn't do this for fun, but that wasn't all that difficult to do. We did that three times.

After that came crawling across the rope net. You basically have to pull yourself to the top of the net then flip over onto the ground. I was surpringly good at pulling myself up the net. The ease with which it came was shocking to me. I did not enjoy flipping over. I don't like to be upside down or to have my equilibrium messed with, and that is exactly what this was. It wasn't even that high up, but I knew that I was not going to be into it. But I did it.

Then I had to swing on a rope, and essentially jump at just the right moment so I would go over this log that was standing a few feet away from me. I slammed into the log on the first try. The marine laughed. He was trying to suppress it, but he wanted to laugh. And he should of. I laughed. I'm certainly more then willing to laugh at myself when I look like a fool. I made it over on the third time...barely. Then I crawled under a net and did some more hurdles. Fun Fun Fun.....then things stared to get difficult.

It was time to leap over walls.....three of them. The first one was very easy. It was very little effort. The second one, I had to get a bit of a run and then pull myself up and over, but I was still able to do it in one try. The third one took me three tries. It was about my height so it was just a matter of me lifting myself up and over.....easier said then done. I'm not saying that I am fat, but I weigh what an average twenty-five year old me height ways and essentially I was lifting my entire body weight. Not fun...not fun at all.

At this point I started to get nauseus. I don't think that I would've actually thrown up, but the feeling was there in the pit of my stomach. Still I trudged forward to the monkey bars...three sets of them which got increasingly further from the ground. I didn't do these when I was a child...I couldn't do them when I was a child, and I cannot do them as an adult. It doesn't look like it should be hard, you just swing yourself from bar to bar. Easier said then done my friends, easier said then done. I couldn't even get past the second one. I'm not ashamed to admit this. My arms aren't exacly made of rippling biceps...so one of the marines then takes your legs and holds them while you go from bar to bar. This made me able to do it, but it didn't make it easy. I felt the burn from the middle of the first set of bars, but I did all three. I really wanted to throw up then....but it was far from over.....it was now time for the climbing wall. I have seen these before and thought that they looked fun. They aren't. First of all the little ledges are too small for my feet...I couldn't get any traction. I realize that my feet aren't that big, and that men with much bigger feet, heigh appropriate feet, are able to do these things, and God love them for it but I don't understand how. It took me a long time to make it across and around this damn climbing wall, and I didn't really finish it. I think they wanted me to experience the whole course.

I then pulled myself across tires. I really don't know how to describe this other then I had to turn my entire body around to get off of it, and I nearly fell off of it doing this. Graceful I am not.

Next came what I'm sure is going to be my nemesis. This wall that is far taller then me....you are supposed to run, jump and then walk up the wall and over. I didn't really need to run to get a grip on the wall, but after that there wasn't much that I could do. They kept telling me to walk up the wall as I was hanging off of it. There may come a time that I 'm able to do this, but today was not that day. I felt like all of my limbs were going to fall off, and yes I still had that delightful sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Thankfully, the other two girls that I was doin it with could not do it either, but when I was trying to do it they were wonderfully encouraging. I can't wait till I'm a couple of weeks into this and really feel like a part of this little group.

The end of the class has all of us interlocking our arms and legs doing twenty-five situps in unison. I barely eeked out eighteen. To be fair, I had just done twenty-eight situps on my own.....one of the marines wanted to see how many situps I could do in a minute. I really feel like once my body gets used to the shock of the intensity of this workout that my performance will get better. It did at Barry's, but Barry's was definitley easier then this. It wasn't easy, but easier.

At the end of the class we do a little hands in the circle thing, and one of the marines told us we did a good job, and congratulated us first timers for making it through the first class without throwing up. To which one of the more veteran members of the class asked if anyone actually threw up to which the marine responded with a hearty laugh and a most definitley. I wouldn't say that I am in the clear until I make it through the first week.

I was sore about an hour after the class...that's not supposed to happen. My body really hasn't exerted itself much. I'm sure I will still be sore tomorrow, and I feel exhausted, but once again that is just my body getting used to this workout. Plus, come the middle of July if I can walk around with a tank top on then I'll be a happy camper. :)

Sometimes God gives you exactly what you ask for

2006-05-31T16:25:00.000-04:00

I said that I wanted something to write about it, and I got it.

I was sitting here in front of my computer reading Soap Opera Weekly. Soap Opera Weekly has a feature called Culture Club in which they ask soap stars things like what are they watching or what is the last movie they saw and so on and so forth.

Marcy Rylan(Lizzie, GL) was asked: "What are you watching?"

Her response: "Desperate Housewives--I love it. Wait, what station is that on? ABC? I'll be dead!(She works on Guiding Light which is a CBS soap for those of you out there not well versed in the world of soap operas) I do like CSI. I love 24. And I watch endless reruns of Sex and the City."

Literally the moment I read "endless reruns of Sex and the City" the phone rang. I picked it up, and in my brain I knew that I was supposed to say Second Stage, but instead I said..."Sex and the City"

Myslef, the woman on the other end of the phone, and the entire box office erupted into laughter.

:)

I want to write something....

2006-05-31T15:46:00.000-04:00

At the moment I'm trying to figure out something to write about, but I am drawing a complete and utter blank. I can think of no funny stories or random observations. But I feel like it has been too long since the last time that I wrote so I thought that writing about the fact that I had nothing to write about at the moment was better then not writing at all.

Plus, I like to type. I always have. I'm not sure why it is that I like to type so much, but I do. And let me tell you that if there is anything that I am good at it is typing. I type fast. Almost everyone who sees or hears me typing comments about how fast that I type. I'm not just a fast typer either....I'm a fast typer who does not look at the keyboard and has amazing accuracy.

Yeah....I definitely have nothing to say or I would not be talking about how fast of a typer I am. I know that at some point very soon something is going to happen or I'm going to have a random thought that is just begging to be put in my blog, but at the moment it is alluding me.

I'm just saying....

2006-05-22T14:51:00.000-04:00

If it were to come down to me buying a $500 dollar suit or a $500 dollar mattress, I would go for the suit every time. And here is why: I want to look good. I constantly want to add to my wardrobe, but that is not always the fiscally responsible thing to do, but if it were to come down to the above choice my rationale would go as such: I have an air mattress that is immensely comfortable. The rest that I get on the air mattress is just as good as the rest I would get if I called 1-800-Mattress and had one delivered. I would get much more use out of the suit....let's face it the only person my bed is seeing these days is me, so there would be no need for me to get a nice mattress for two when there is only one.

I am neither purchasing a mattress or a suit. I just wanted to let you all know where I stand on the issue.

Pure Power Boot Camp

2006-05-15T12:50:00.000-04:00

I have been less then motivated to go to the gym as of late. When I was in LA, and going to Barry's I was perhaps in the best shape of my life. I liked that. Now I am not so much in that good shape. I am feeling really blah, and that just gives me even less motivation to go to the gym. I need to be held accountable by someone else for my gym going habits, and that is why I have signed up for Pure Power Boot Camp.

It is different then Barry's. Very different. First of all the instructors were actually Marines. These are some hardcore people. I went in their today to sign my credit card slip, and finalize everything for my June 5th start date. It is going to be for six weeks, and then after that I think that I am going to have to find a new means of motivating myself to work out, becuase this is not a cheap endeaver. But I digress. I walked into this place today to find an obstacle course. People climbing over walls and going through rope ladders. This is no joke. This is actually like boot camp. I have to wear a uniform, I have to do pushups the moment that I step off the elevator, I am in a platoon, and I was given literature to study.....which I was informed I will be tested on. That's right...I will be tested on it. I'm not going to lie to you my faithful readers, I am scared. I am also going into it with a positive attitude.

The first thing that I am going to do this time is eat the proper diet in conjunction with my six weeks of what I think is going to be hell on earth working out. Beth is going to plan me a diet to eat. I want to see what happens if I do everything right over the course of the next six weeks. Perhaps it will give me motivation to stay on that right path. After the six weeks I am thinking of taking up yoga, and now that Beth is going to be a licensed trainer I have told her that she is going to have to develop a workout program for me, because as I have said over and over and over again...I'm not good on the doing things on my own. I need someone to be yelling at me or at least someone to tell me what to do. I hate to think about the gym. I never know what to do. I like to have programs and plans and instructors.

You know what I thought about today when I was looking at people go through this obstacle course...well I thought about two things. The one thing that I thought about is the fact that the people who were in the gym didn't look like they were in the most fantastic shape of their life. This makes me feel better because it means that there are regular people there, and that I'm not going to come in and be far behind everyone else in my "platoon". The other thing that I thought of was that this was going to be fantastic training for me to be on Survivor. Those people are always climbing through rope nets and leaping over walls. This is going to being me one step closer to being the perfect Survivor.

I Want To Be On Survivor....

2006-05-15T12:32:00.000-04:00

Last night was the finale of Survivor: Exile Island. Aras won. Aras is a beautiful man. I was overwhelmingly attracted to him. I just had to put that out there, but that is neither here nor there. It really isn't all that interesting for me to get into the nitty gritty of what happened on Survivor last night, but it must be mentioned that my girl Cirie made it to the final four, but because of damn Terry and his damn immunity idol it came down to a tie vote between Cirie and Danielle to go into the final three, and it was a fire starting comeptition. There were moments in which I thought that Cirie had it, but in the end Danielle won. I was so disappointed that Cirie didn't make it to the final two, but she should be PROUD! She made it to the final four. She made an amazing comeback. She was basically informed that she wsa going to be voted off third, but instead she took stock of the situation, made some fantastic alliances, and manuevered herself into a position of power. Plus....she never went to Exile island.....

I have had this desire to be on reality television for as long as I can remember. When I was a teenager I wanted to be on the Real World. I don't actually want to be on the Real World. The Real World has become less and less real, and the show is harder and harder to relate to. Perhaps if I were on one of the earlier season of the Real World I would have enjoyed it, but now my tastes have changed. I want to play a game. I don't want to be an actor. I don't even want to be in the spotlight after my brief foray into reality television, but I want to play these games of strategy and will. Originally I wanted to do Big Brother, and I still would, but the more that I think about it the more that I have decided that I want a challenge. I want to do something that many people think that I may not be able to do and succeed. My dreams of Survivor are going to become a running theme here in my blog.

I will keep you updated, but rest assured that I am going to be on Survivor. Perhaps come this fall when the new season of Survivor starts to air on CBS, I will have to miss it because I will be off on my own Survivor adventure.

I Heart Izzie....

2006-05-15T12:08:00.000-04:00

And George....

And Dr. Miranda Bailey...

And Addision Shepard.....

That's right. I have an addiction to Grey's Anatomy. It just may be one of the best television shows ever to grace the airwaves, and I dare anyone to argue with me on that one. It is just riveting to watch, and last night's episode was no exception.

First of I just want to say that I cannot blame Izzie for wanting to do everything in her power to save Denny. I am in love with him. Although I don't want her to lose her medical career over it. When she started lying to make sure that Denny got the available heart I knew that Izzie was going down a very dangerous road. She was clearly unhinged, and rather then simply telling her what she needed to do I really really wish that Meredith and Cristina had followed Izzie or tipped off George. Leaving Izzie to her own devices only brought her to the moment of deciding she needed to stop Denny's heart to ensure that he got the available one.

Izzie is my favorite character on this show, and I hate to watch the characters that I grow to love do stupid things, but I almost understood why she was doing what she was doing, when she begged Denny to not give up....her tears were flowing, and in a moment of desperation she let her true feelings out...she was in love with Denny. He didn't say it back, but he took Izzie in his arms, his own tears coming at this point, and agreed to let her do whatever was neccesary to get him that heart.....risking his life and her medical career. So he didn't say I love you.....but when he took her in his arms, and agreed to do the one thing that he really did not want to do then you knew the love was there. I am so rooting for Izzie and George to get together eventually, but not yet. I want more Denny.

When the character of Callie was first introduced I really liked her, but that likeability has slowly dwindled away when she refuses to give Izzie and Meredith the benefit of any doubt. I mean Callie snapped at Meredith for asking her a question about her dog. Yes, Callie, you are working on people there. But did you not say moments before that you had to wait for test results...there was no harm in Meredith asking you your opinion about a dog. Calm down! I'm glad that George didn't blindly back her, and yet explained to her that Meredith, Izzie, and Cristina were his family and that she needed to accept that, and couldn't hold them to the same standards that he did. She had to earn that place in their family. It may have sounded mean, but it was true. Callie cannot interact with these people the same way that George does.......and then Callie redeemed herself by showing Meredith x-rays of a human with the same bone condition as her dog. The news was bad, but Callie did the right thing. She is getting back into the good graces......and then as she sat with George rambling on and on she professed her love to him...only to be interrupted by a frantic plea from Izzie for help from George.

I love that Izzie turned to George in her time of need......for now I love the fact that they are best friends, but at some point I do want them to open their eyes and realize that they are in love, but I think that may be sometime coming since Izzie is now not only risking her own career to save Denny, but now George's as well by bringing him in on it. By the look on his face he knew that this was no kind of good situation, but Izzie was basically out of her mind. She had a crazed look in her eye, and George just sort of watched the situation unfold.....he probably should have been more forceful in stopping Izzie from doing this, but now they are both in a lot of trouble. Not as much as Denny, however, because as Izzie is ready to stop Denny's heart with the thought that Dr. Burke will be there any moment to check on Denny, Dr. Burke is getting shot.....that's right....he is lying on the ground of the helipad shot. Not good for Denny...or Dr.Burke....or for Cristina for that matter becaus things were not left in a good place between the two of them. Why Dr. Burke puts up with Cristina's bull I am not sure, but he loves her and the two of them continue to do the little dance that they do. I bet this is going to make Cristina open her eyes, and realize the fantastic boyfriend that she has.

Other things did happen in this episode, but the last thing that I am going to discuss is the Meredith-Derek-Addison-McVet(I can't remember his name at the moment) situation. Derek is basically being an ass calling Meredith names and ignoring Addision all because Meredith and McVet are now dating. Now Addision thought that Meredith and Derek were sleeping together again, but it was the realization that Derek was so in up arms because Meredith was dating someone else that made everything click for Addision. Meredith is the one that Derek wants, and he is with Addision out of some sort of sense of obligation. Well stop being the god dam martyr Derek. I love Addision. Sometimes I like her better then Meredith. Yes, Addision did something that was very very bad, but you know what at some point you need to either let it go or let Addision go. She should not be punished for the rest of his life, and the fact that Addison's actions illicit no kind of response from Derek, but Meredith moving on makes Derek a rageing crazy man says something, and thank God that Addison saw that.

Bring back Eric Dane for Addison, have her give Derek the boot, and let Meredith stay with the vet. Derek deserves it for the way that he was behaving. Perhaps Addison screaming at Derek that he was still in love with Meredith in front of everyone including Meredith was not the smartest move that she could have made, I say brava to her....it was time that Derek was told off.

I cannot wait for tonight's two hour season finale. It is going to be a NAIL BITER!

The Countdown Meant Nothing.....

2006-05-15T12:01:00.000-04:00

Last week I watched, in my humble opinion, what was a very poor send off for Seventh Heaven. As much as I loathed the way the finale went down, and as much as I loved to sit down with my guiltiest of pleasures on a Monday evening, I did agree with the decision to nix the show. It was time for Seventh Heaven to go to that TV network in the sky......I mean they will live on forever on DVD.

Guess what?

7th Heaven faked their death. At least that is the word on the street.

What I am hearing,through many sources that I find to be generally reliable, is that the CW was less then thrilled with the crop of pilots that they had been viewing, and being the fusion of two networks they wanted to come out with the strongest showing possible. What does this mean? Keep in mind that nothing will be known until Friday when the CW unveils their lineup....but at this point I think it is a safe bet to think that we are going to find out if that baby Hayley Duff had is actually a Camden.

That's right...they have been brought back from cancellation. We are going to be getting 13 more hours of those crazy, wacky, and wild Camdens. Now I doubt that Jessica Biel is going to return to the show and apparently What About Brian has been picked up so that means we won't be seeing much of Matt, but I bet you that the rest of the clan is going to be back in full force.

Is it wrong that I am slightly excited about the prospect?

The Countdown Is Over: The Camden's are gone

2006-05-09T15:26:00.000-04:00

After ten years of pretending not to be a gigantic fan of the show Seventh Heaven, in the past couple of years I embraced my love for those wacky Camdens. I never got to the point of adding it to my DVR.

I had big hopes for this final episode of Seventh Heaven, and I am going to be completely blunt with you here......Brenda Hampton let me down....BIG TIME!

First of all one of the more minor questions that I had that will never be answered was what was the mysterious source of income that Kevin, Lucy's husband seemed to have. Kevin had left the police force and became a stay at home dad, Lucy was a minister...I don't even think that she went to college....and yet Kevin was giving Ruthie money to go on a three month trip to Scotland and Lucy and Kevin decided that as a wedding present to Simon they were going to pay off the remainder of the balance on the engangement ring, that apparently was beautiful and very expensive....so expensive that Simon had basically dropped out of school and was working two jobs just to pay off this ring. Where exactly did Kevin get all that money? Is he secretly a drug dealer.....perhaps they should have a darker, seedier spinoff that focuses on Kevin and his illegal dealings. The Camden's would never approve.

Every other second they were flashing back to the first episode.....which they had done in the previous two episodes. I understand that when a show is going to come to an end they are going to be a little bit nostalgic and rely a bit on flashbacks...but they should not consume the final three episodes as they did in the case of Seventh Heaven. Every other minute we had Eric and Annie gazing into each other's eyes or at one of their kids, and we were whisked back to 1996. I've lived through 1996 and the first season of Seventh Heaven once already......I don't need to do it again. In the same vein...I didn't need to see Annie and Eric imagine how the wedding was going to...why did they waste time with those ridiculous scenarios. Why didn't they show us Simon and Rose not getting married, rather then leave us guessing at the wedding reception. I mean we all knew that it was not going to happen, but the time for suspense has passed. The series finale should be all about pay off pay off pay off.

Which brings me to yet another grievance. Mary appeared at the wedding in one of Eric's fantasies, but wasn't at the actual wedding. First we will deal with the fantasy. Mary's father clearly thinks that she is a moron, because she didn't even know what a globe was in this little scenario. Mary may have been the bad seed of the Camden clan...aka a normal twenty something of the 21st century......but she was never stupid, and I was thrilled beyond belief that Annie pointed out to Eric that Mary is far smarter then he was giving her credit for. I'm going to return to my frustrations regarding Mary in a moment, but first...

How ridiculous is it that Lucy, Matt, and Mary were all going to be having twins. What? What is the deal? How fertile are these people. Annie popped out seven kids.....Lucy is well on her way being twenty four with one child, and two more on the way. Matt and Sara are a little behind, but they got two for the price of one. Carlos and Mary already have a kid, and two more on the way. Which leads me back to Mary....she was just as pregnant as Sarah, and Sarah flew to the wedding. Why didn't Mary come? I mean...what is the point of not having her there. They got Jessica Biel back for the final episode, and this is television....even if she was too pregnant to fly this is FICTION. She should have been at the wedding, and it was ridiculous that she was not. Incidentally, I almost fell on the floor with laughter at the reaction of Annie and Eric upon finding out that Carlos and Mary had gotten back together....GOD FORBID they have one child who is not perfect. GOD FORBID! I liked that Mary wasn't perfect, but they had to redeem her.

Now let's talk about the ending.....Haylie Duff walked in with that baby and told Simon that they needed to talk, seriously implying that the baby was his and not Martin's. But then no words were spoken...music started.

If that had been the season finale that would have been a perfectly fine ending....a great one as a matter of fact. But as a series finale it was not good. BTW...where was Ruthie during the whole thing? She appeared for approximately seven minutes.

I'm sorry to say that the Seventh Hevan Series Finale was a major disappointment, but the ten years of guilty pleasure you never want to admit you watch it TV was well worth it!

Pork is officially not for dinner now....

2006-05-01T13:52:00.000-04:00

Is the pork industry desperate to bring the pork chop back into the american lexicon and diet? Is the industry so in need of revival that they will allow any lunatic to craft an ad campaign for them? I think that may be the case. I am about to relay to you a commerical that Yas and I saw one day while watching television. No one else has seen this commerical. No one else seems to know what we are talking about. I think that they pulled it from the airs after that one airing because it was that horrible. That's right.

All of this is in claymation or some variation of that medium.

A pork chop and a peach are having a forbidden romance. That's right...a forbidden romance. As it should be, though, because romantic entanglements between meat and fruit just seems wrong. The meat so rough and weeathered by the world, and the fruit so fragile and innocent.

The pork chop scales the wall to the peach's balcony, and swings in to profess his love. The peach is playing the harp or something. At first she is shocked, and dare I say appalled, that the pork chop would have scaled the wall and enter her bedroom uninvited, but quickly passion gets the better of them, and they begin what I can only imagine was supposed to be sex between this pork chop and peach. What does sex between a pork chop and a peach look like? Well....it looks like these claymation puppets slamming against one another. That's right....they were literally banging. It was the most bizaree sight I have ever seen......simulated poultry sex. EW!

They don't get to finish, however, because Lord Poultry...that's right the chicken is a lord......storms in and demands that pork get away from peach. I can only imagine that the pork chop was some sort of peasant, and lord chicken did not deem such a commoner worth of such beauty as a peach. The porkchop refuses to be separated from the one that he loves, he grabs the peach, and together they jump into the fire.

Cut to a woman's hands holding out a peach glazed pork. That's right...they died in the fire so that they could wind up in someone's stomach together.

This commercial has disappeared from the airwaves, and I say good riddance. It was bizarre, and I'm not sure how it ever got on the air. Although I must admit that I am sort of glad that it made its way onto the airwaves......it was that ridiculous.

The following is what people should not do.....

2006-05-01T13:31:00.001-04:00

I have a very good friend from high school who I am not going to name here, but she is the focal point of what I am going to be writing about here. I spent most of the last two years of my high school life with this girl, and we remained close when she went away to college, and I came to the city. Now if she is not in the city then she is at home in Poughkeepsie, so I get to see her fairly often.

Sometimes she will call me when she is on the train or walking back to her dorm, and if she leaves me a voicemail it isn't always neccesary to return the call because she was just calling me to kill time. But that was not the case in the particular instance that I am referring to here. My phone vibrates to tell me that I have a message, and it is from this friend. Her voice was stone cold serious, and she slowly told me that I needed to call her back right away because she had something very important to tell me. I was convinced that it was something horrible. This was not the way that she normally left me messages, and she wouldn't have had such a lack of emotion if it were good news. With my morbid and neurotic mind the first thing that I think is that someone has died. I give myself a moment to mentally prepare myself for what could potentially be terrible news.

I dial her phone number hoping that she is going to pick up, and we won't have to start the voicemail game.

"Hello." She said.
"What's wrong?" I ask, not wanting to engage in any type of small talk whatsoever.
"What are you talking about?" she asked inquistively.
"You just left me a message that sounded like you had to tell me that someone was dead. You said that there was something very important that you had to tell me."
"Oh...that. My friend got a boob job, and I didn't know who else to tell. Isn't that funny?"

I suppose that is a funny story. I might have chuckled and asked her about it had she left me an approrpiate message, but instead she essentially tricked me into thinking that someone was dead in order to get me to call her back, which I would have done anyway if she had said that she had something funny or interesting to tell me. I certainly would have returned her call within a day.

What is the lesson that I want you to take away from this story? Leave information appropriate voice mails. If something bad has happened, then tell the person that you need them to call you, and that it is important. If you do say this, what you have to tell them should not be that someone that they have met at most once has gotten their boobs done. This is not very important.

Use this as a guide to leaving voice mails if you are unsure.

:)

Horrible Negligence

2006-04-26T17:15:00.000-04:00

I know that it has been some time since I posted anything on this blog. As a matter of fact the last time that I posted anything I was discussing how much I loved Ace on American Idol. Ace is no longer in the competition, and it has been some time since I realized that he wasn't all that great of a singer, and in that time I have grown appreciation for Katherine McPhee, Taylor Hicks, Elliot Shamin, Paris Bennett, and Chris Daughtry.

Nothing all that much is going to get posted right now, but I just wanted to put it out there that I am going to be returning to the blog very soon. I moved back to New York, and I have been getting settled and acclimated...is that even spelled correctly???.........so blogging has sort of fell to the wayside.

But fret not, because soon I am going to return full force!

American Idol: Swoon Alert

2006-02-23T16:02:00.000-05:00

Ok.....Ace Young is hot. No one can deny that. But watching him sing last night, and look into that camera....I thought that I was going to melt into a puddle. A PUDDLE I tell you.

That boy is hot, and I imagine we are going to have many many more weeks to watch him sing.

Grey's Anatomy

2006-02-23T15:59:00.000-05:00

Why is that show so good? I mean it just gets better and better and better every week.

Cristina and Alex were trying to listen to what Derek, Mark, and the chief were saying and Cristina actually turned to Alex and asked if Derek called someone a crac whore. I love it. LOVE IT! The term crack whore cracks me up to begin with, but coming out of the mouth of these characters...anything that comes out of the mouths of these characters cracks me up.

What really had me going, however, was George and Meredith having sex! It was one of those moments in which you are screaming at the television because you cannot believe what is happening in front of you. That was the last thing that I would have expected to happen, and as much as I love a good spoiler I have to admit that there is something so enjoyable about watching Grey's Anatomy and having no idea what is about to happen.

Tony, the adventures continue....

2006-02-23T15:10:00.000-05:00

I told you that there was going to be more to this whole Tony story, and here it is. This was practically two weeks ago, but I continue nonetheless. It was now Sunday night, and Erin's last night here. We were going to Basix for dinner, and then out to the Abbey. Literally an hour and a half before we were going to be heading out to dinner, I decided that I would send Tony a text message to tell him what we were up to that night, and see if he wanted to join us. I don't think that some guy sending me a text message with little to no advance warning of when he wanted to hang out would have gotten much of a response from me, and yet not even fifteen minutes later Tony was calling me.

I had sent him a text message so I wouldn't have to talk to him on the telephone, and here he was ruining everything that I had set up, but since I did invite him I answered the phone, and all he seemed to be able to do was laugh. I mean he was laughing for no reason. I explained what I was up to that evening, and told him that he was more then welcome to join us. He took far too long to think about it. He was muttering and stammering, and I was just sitting there on the telephone wishing that he had thought about all of this before he had called me because the text message had had plenty of information. It wasn't a short text message, and yet he had to sit on the phone with me, and make me wait while he mulled it over in his head. All mulling should be done in private. I'm just saying. He finally decided that he would come and meet us for drinks after we had had dinner.

Erin seemed to think that his rapid response meant that he was interested in me, and I must admit that it seemed that way to me as well. If you want to play it cool, you don't immediately return a text message with a phone call. You wait a little while, and then you send a text back or something. I have to say that there is a part of me that truly loathes the games that you have to play while dating, and yet there is a certain degree of comfort in them that you don't recognize until someone decides that they aren't going to stay within the rules of the game. As much as I loathe and despise the games that we are forced to play when we first start dating someone, I follow them to a tee. I analyze when it is I should call them, what I should say, every detail is gone over and over in my head and I hate every minute of it. Yet, when someone decides that they aren't going to engage in that I think that it is weird. Do the two sides of my brain talk to one another or do they just act indepedently in order to drive me crazy.

Erin and I went to dinner, and then met up with Kristyn and went to the Abbey. This was at 9pm. When we got to the Abbey I called Tony, and he started doing the yammering and muttering thing again. What I wanted to tell him was to do whatever he wanted to do. At this point, I was growing weary of his indecision. He was the one that decided to call me so if he didn't really want to go out he should have just sent me a text telling me that he was tired or something like that. But he didn't. Instead he made me play these games with him on the phone, and finally he decided that he in fact did want to come out. I was getting to a point in which I couldn't have cared less, but now he was on his way so I couldn't even leave anymore. We went inside and got drinks and chatted. Do you know what time he showed up at the damn bar? 10:30pm. That's right. He showed up an hour and a half after I called him. Apparently, he doesn't live very close, and he had been napping so he needed to get ready to go out. Who naps at 9pm? I mean if you are going to be a sleep at 9pm you might as well just go to bed. You'll probably wake up early in the morning, but it's not exactly what I would call prime napping time.

Fine. I bought him a drink, because that is how I roll, and we all chatted. I was my usual charming, fliratious self, and it did seem as if he was flirting back with me. He wanted to go next door after the girls left so that we could dance, which turned out to be only a few minutes after he had said that to me because they were both pretty tired and wanted to go back to watch Deserate Housewives.

They left, and Tony and I went next door to Here. We were actually having a really nice conversation while we were there, and Tony was saying nice things to me like a lot of people had come up to talk to him the night that we met, but he didn't really see anything in any of them, but he did see something in me. I was actually beginning to think that Tony was a good guy. He seemed that way from the previous evening, but you can never tell. People love to put on fronts. I was being swayed to camp Tony, but I admit I had trouble reading him. He was very closed off, so it wasn't always easy to tell what he was thinking. But the signals that he was giving me were ones of definite interest, and God knows I had made myself very clear over the two times that we had met...kissing him, inviting him out, buying him a drink. I wasn't throwing myself at him, but who the hell wants someone that is going to throw themselves at you. Who wants to throw themselves at someone? I certainly don't. It's not the way that I want to be.

Basically, things were going really well. Of course I knew that this was not really something that would go anywhere because I am heading back to New York, but it was a fun distraction for the moment. A cute boy is always a fun distraction. Apparently, Tony agreed with me because we had been standing down by the dance floor when this, what can only be described as a child because he could not have been much older then nineteen walks past us. The fool was wearing work out shorts, some sort of basketball jersey, and a towel wrappped around his head. A full on bath towel. I really don't know what the motivation for wearing the bath towel was, and I had very little desire to get to know him. Unfortunately, he noticed that Tony was looking at him and I was gawking. Tony didn't seem to see the ridiculousness in his outfit, while I could see nothing but. He came over and gave one of those head jerks in which your head goes up and your chin protrudes out as a means of recognition. He then planted himself between me and Tony, with his back to me, and started to engage him in conversation. Are you kidding me? Is this actually happening? Apparently it was, because the next thing I knew they were getting ready to go and dance.

I wasn't really having any of it, and so what I was going to do was leave. I should have just left and saved myself some aggrevation, but when I said I was going to leaave Tony grabbed me by the arm, and made me go onto the dancefloor with him. We like to be wanted, and the fact that he wanted me to stay made me a little less angry for a moment, because the moment that we got out onto the dance floor he was dancing with the guy with the beach towel wrapped around his head. I later learned that the reason he had that wrapped around his head was because he had gone to the beach earlier that day. Maybe a better place to put it would have been in the car. He looked like a damn fool. If I wasn't so busy wishing he would disappear, I would have asked what the motivation for that was.

I was so angry that my mouth was getting dry. I realized that Tony and I barely knew each other, and I am not even going to be here that much longer so he can go out with a different guy every day of the week for all I care, what I do care about is feeling like a fool. If you came here with me, and were having a good time with me, then you should know better then to push me aside for some moronic nineteen year old. Finally, the nineteen year old went to the bathroom, and I basically told Tony that he had hurt my feelings and that he can do whatever he wants, but since he did come out with me I thought it was kind of rude for him to be dancing up on this child. All that Tony could say was that he didn't do anything wrong, and that I had been talking to other guys too. Really? You mean the guy that I knew from the gym that i was talking too while I was waiting for you outside of the bathroom. Is that the other guys that I was talking too? I was not having that comparison, and I told him that. Once again, I was going to leave, but he wanted me to stay so I did, and the two of them just fricking continued dancing once the nineteen year old got back. I was about ready to put up with that for five minutes, and finally I asked Tony to just walk me out. If he wanted to stay here with that kid, then he was more then welcome too, but he was going to get a peace of my mind.

I took him outside, and tried to explain to him what was going through my head, but apparently he isn't all that bright. He just kept telling me that he didn't do anything wrong, and then the fool told me that he didn't think that I liked him like that. Really? That is just a damn lie. It was an excuse to be rude, and I wasn't having it. But I could tell Tony why the situation sucked until I turned blue in the face, and he just wasn't going to be on the same page as me. I expected nothing from him, but when he was out with me I expected him to be out with me, and not macking on teenagers who are barely legal when he is 28 years old. He didn't seem to get that, but wanted me to stay while he said goodbye to his child. Twenty minutes later, he comes out with the child, and we happen to all be walking in the same direction.

We walk for about a block, and apparently Tony and nineteen year old are parked on teh same street but in opposite directions. The nineteen year old then has to gaul to ask me if I want him to give me a ride home. I was text messaging someone at the moment, and I simply said no without looking up at him. This kid knew exactly what he had been doing so I wasn't interested in making small talk with him. Tony then insisteed that he drive me home because it was so cold out, and I didn't have a jacket. Uhm.....I'm from NYC. I can handle walking home in fifty degree weather, but I relented because there is always that part of me that wants to see if he had seen the error of his ways and realized that I am the far better pick.

He didn't because as he was saying goodbye to the nineteen year old, the kid said..."I will see you in a little bit.....I mean, I will talk to you soon." Wow. He should be a spy, because that was the best damn save in the world. If they thought that I didn't know what was going on then they were both biggere idiots then I thought that they were.

Tony drove me hom, basically in silence because I had nothing to say to him. We got to my house and re-hased what had been said. He being unable to comprehend what I was saying, thinking that I wanted him to be my boyfriend or something. HA! Far from it! Especially after the lovely evening that he showed me. I got out of the car, he starts to pull away, and then pulls the car back into the driveway to ask me for a cigarette. Truth be told, I only had the one left that I had been smoking, but even if I had had more I probably wouldn't have given him one at that point. I told him that I had no more left, and he had the nerve to demand I show him my pack because he thought that I was lying. WHAT!?!?!?!? That was just icing on the cake. He hugged me goodbye, and told me to call him.

Do you think that I have called him? Of course not. Even I have my limits.

Another whacked out boy to add to the list....

Let It Be Known.....

2006-02-20T22:48:00.000-05:00

I am not a mind reader.

Stop At the Red, Or End Up Dead

2006-02-19T19:15:00.000-05:00

Almost every bus that I have seen in Los Angeles, has the slogan: Stop at the red or end up dead on it. I realize that there are a lot of bad drivers in the world, and a great many of them seem to reside in Los Angeles, but do these people really not stop at red lights. Is this actually a problem in this city? Are people stupid or do they just not care that a red light means stop? No one is so important or in so much of a hurry that they can't stop at a red light.

Seriously, what is wrong with these people? Yet another reason that Brian is glad to be leaving LA.

Do I Ask To Find Myself In These Situations?

2006-02-19T15:18:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I wonder if I find myself in these ridiculously melodramatic situations because I am emitting some sub-concious homing beacon to the crazy people of the world. I'm a mecca for nutcases. I am a little behind in my blogging so this all takes place last Friday when Erin was still here. We had been very lethargic during the day, and were wondering if we were even going to go out that evening. Of course we were going to grab dinner, but a night of drinking didn't exactly sound appealing. Actually, I don't even think I was that hungry, and if I had been alone probably would not even have gone out to dinner, but then I wouldn't have this story to relate!

It is proven to me time and time again that the evenings that you insist you want to do nothing, and then are coaxed out of the house are the evenings that turn out to be the most interesting and fun. Kristyn planned on meeting Arthur at Merrick's so we went along, and within moments there was a margaraita, and a delcious one at that, in my hand. I sucked that margarita down like it was the juice of life, and before I knew it I was ready for my second one and more then willing to entertain the possibility of going out. A lot of times when i say I don't want to go out it comes from a lack of motivation. If you get me to a bar or a restuarant, surrond me with some friends and put a drink in my hand then my outlook on life tends to change.

Three or four margaritas later, I lost count when I got completely trashed off of the margaritas. It didn't help that all I had eaten that evening had been a handful of chips and like three bites of a chicken quesadilla, we were off. Where were we going? Kristyn, Erin, Arthur, and I hopped in a cab to I Candy, that bar whose opening was chronicled on a reality show on LOGO. I think like fourteen people in America actually watch LOGO so if you have never heard of it then I wouldn't feel too bad. I probably should have asked where Arthur was taking us as we piled into the cab, but with three or four margaritas dancing around in me it seemed like a good idea. This bar was wall to wall men. I mean you could barely turn a shoulder. I managed to get through two vodka tonics, but for one reason or another I was not feeling the bar. We mosied along outside, and stood there for a while, and knowing that Erin had had enough of being jammed into small spaces with gay men as far as the eye could see, I decided that it was time for us to head out. Arthur and Kristyn stayed to continue their own adventures.

Erin and I got out onto the street, and the fresh air invigorated me. We started to call all of our friends from high school and leave them very very drunk messages. Bevin actually picked up the phone and spoke in words that were completely unintelligible. Erin and I kept thrusting the phone at each other and attempting to talk to her but she was barely able to manage a grunt let alone construct a sentence and realize who it was. I don't understand people who hear the phone, answer it, but are unable to completely rouse themselves from their slumber so that they can actually. I may be half asleep when that happens, but I am still able to form words. Oh bevin...gotta love her. We each left Beth and Jen messages. I think we each left Kevin messages as well. When we called Richard, Beth's boyfriend, neither one of us actually wanted to talk so we just held the phone out into the air demanding that the other person talk. You don't actually want to get most of these people on the phone. You are hoping to leave them a drunken message that they will laugh at in the morning, but Richard answered the phone and dashed all of our plans. Talking to Beth later, I learned that he had heard us arguing about who was going to talk. Personally, I would have just hung up the phone rather then listen to the ramblings of two drunk morons.

The night air and the round of prank phone calls gave me a new lease on the evening. I did not want to go home, and when Erin said that she did want to go home I apparently scolded her and told her that she was going to party like a rock star. Where did I take her to party like a rock star...that's right.....Fiesta. It was the second happy hour of the evening which of course lasts for two hours. I think that the first one lasts for four hours. I could not let Erin leave West Hollywood and not know the joy that is very strong double drinks at Fiesta. We went there, got our drinks, and went out onto the patio. I am a friendly person to begin with, but when I am as drunk as I was at that moment I will talk to anyone regardless of who they are or what they are doing. My mouth will open, and words will start to fly out. That is how we met Tony. We were standing at one of the tables, of course I was lighting a cigarette, and Tony was sitting down smoking. I smiled at him, and said hello. Very loudly. He responded with hello and the conversation was off and running. What is it that the three of us talked about in those few moments? I have no idea. I do know that I thought Tony was cute, and that he smoked. This is wrong of me, but there is a part of me that find a guy who smokes very attractive. Maybe it is because I don't have to justify it to them that I smoke. Regardless, he was there with his friends who wanted to go next store to Rage. He invited us along. Rage has a ten dollar cover, but I was drunk and there was a cute boy involved....there was no way that I wasn't going, and poor Erin was caught in the gravitational pull of my hormones and had no choice but to stay the course.

This is where I stop the story for a moment. I want to tell a story about what my roommate said to me when I was relating this story to her. Tara was sitting on the couch and since I am unable to sit still for longer then two seconds was weaving back and forth across the living room as I told her about my evening. The moment in which I am stopping you in the story is the moment in which she stopped me with a bit of astonishment. Tara told me that I am the only person she knows that meets people at a bar then proceeds to leave the bar and continue the night with him. When she meets someone at a bar she has fun with them there, but when that portion of the evening is over they part ways. Not me....if we meet in a bar chances are we are going to probably head to the next bar together. I seem to do this at points that are later in the evening rather then earlier in the evening. I am always a more the merrier type of guy, but I guess as evenings such as these proceed and I continue the intake of vodka tonics I insist that we are more and merry.

I return to my story now.

As we were entering Rage, Tony leans in and whispers in my ear that his friend Danny, who looks like Jeff Branson who plays Johnathan Lavery on All My Children, thinks that I am cute. I wasn't really sure what I was supposed to do with that information. I had been making it very clear that I was interested in Tony, and not Danny. Without really giving anything away, I should have let that be my first clue that this guy was not in the frame of mind that I wanted him to be in. Unsure of where to go with that statement, I told Tony that I thought that he was cute, and he told me that he thought that I was cute too. There was a lot of cute being thrown around. When you say it once it is accetpable, but when you start to throw it around like that it starts to take a different meaning. It isn't what you want it to be. I think of puppy's and small children frolicking in the field as their proud parents watch on, digitial cameras in hand. The night proceeded. There was dancing. There was drinking. There was Erin having enough of gay men, and leaving to go home to bed. There was Tony and I going to the bathroom, and then when I finished he had disappeared and I couldn't find him or his friends anywhere. It was as if they had left. I had mixed feelings of disappointment and anger, but then all of a sudden I found Tony at the bar. It was strange because he had not been there a second before. It was as if he had appeared out of nowhere.

We went and found his friends and went to dance. This is when I began to feel caught between a rock and a hard place. I was dancing with Tony who was definitley dancing with me, but his friend Danny was also getting up on me. Danny had some roving hands. If I am going to be completely honest, I do have to say that I liked having two guys want attention from me. It does not happen often, and it is a bit of an ego boost. There even was a moment or two when I thought that Danny might be the one that I should pursue because his efforts to make his attraction known were definitley more blatant, but my mind had set on Tony and when I hone in on someone I tend to not change my mind, at least in an evening. I'm pretty sure that Danny realized that, but that didn't really seem to stop him from making his attraction known.

When the bar finally closed we all decided to go and get something to eat. I wasn't sure if Tony was going to be coming with us. He disappeared in his car, and didn't seem to want me to come with him or say goodbye to me. Danny, however, was practically pulling me into the car with him, draping himself over me, and insisting that I come. This is yet another clue about Tony that I should have picked up on. The boy seemingly left without saying a word to me. How interested could he have really been? When we got to the diner, Danny sat next to me and continued to molest my leg as we were looking at the menus. I was just sort of beginning to accept Danny's interest when Tony came into the diner.

Danny had come with Tony, and two of his other friends, a guy and a girl. At this point the guy turned to me and told me that he knew what my game was. That is interesting, because I didn't know what my game was. He seemed to think that I was purposefully trying to play Tony and Danny against one another in some sort of competition for my affection. Are you kidding me? Seriously....I had made my intentions very clear. I had voiced them, and this short little man was trying to tell me that I was shady, and then there girlfriend tried to imply that I was some dirty slut...those were the words that were used. These two had such vehemence towards me that I wasn't even sure what to do with it. I couldn't even really believe that that was the situation that I was in. I have a hard enough time finding one guy, never mind having two that are friends both be interested in me. That is just more drama then I am interested in frankly. I tried to explain to the both of them, to no avail I might add, that I wasn't trying to play any games with their friends. Keep in mind this conversation is being had while Danny is trying to nuzzle his head on my shoulder and rubbing my leg. I don't think that anything I could have said to either one of the friends who seemed to think that I was the devil incarnate could have convinced them that I wasn't trying to play some sort of game here. What did not help was when Danny got up to go to the bathroom, Tony took his seat right away and started to manhandle me.

Was I giving off some sort of pheremone that these two really liked? That seat next to me was getting a lot of traffic. Danny came back to the table, and then Tony went to the bathroom. Danny got right back into the seat next to me. I was getting to a point where I didn't want to be around either one of them. The penchant for drama was getting too high for me.

We left the diner, and the two friends who saw me as some sort of sexual predator got into their car, waiting for Danny to get into the car as well. Danny, Tony, and I stood there awkwardly not exactly sure of what the next move was. Danny clearly wanted to say something to me, but instead just hugged me and got into the car with a rejected look on his face which of course I felt bad about, but I still had it in my mind that Tony was the guy that I was interestred in. Initially I said I was going to walk home, which I could have done but it would have been ridiculous. Tony insisted that he drive me home. He did. We sat in the driveway for a few minutes until I finally told Tony that I thought that he should kiss me. Hello? What did he think I was sitting in the car for? My health. It was like 3:30 in the morning. If I didn't want some man to man kissing then I wouldn't have been sitting in that car making ridiculous chatter. We did kiss, and he gave me his phone number, and for some reason I thought that it was a promising encounter. What I should have learned from this evening is that Tony does not know how to read blatant signals or have any idea what is going on inside of the head of people. He seems to be oblivious to the world, however I shouldn't be pointing fingers at people calling them oblivious because I seemed to be VERY MUCH misreading Tony.

Do you think that that is the end of the story? Is it ever the end of the story? Of course not. But the rest is for a later time.

Who Is The Last Person You Would Expect to Write a Movie That Actually Gets Produced?

2006-02-18T03:50:00.000-05:00

If the answers i Jenny McCarthy, then you are very very wrong my friends because Jenny McCarthy has written a movie called Dirty Love.....and it is complete and utter rubbish, but in that oh so good way that you can't help but watch it, and yes before any of you even think to ask I plan on buying this movie. I am not sure what goes on in this women's head, but she is clearly a little cracked out of her mind. Once again I reiterate the fact that this movie is garbage.....and yet I could not help but laugh till I cried...actually tears were streaming down my face...at parts of the movie.

Kristyn, Elle, and I were being silly when we picked it out. We started to call it Dirty Whore, although that might as well have been what the name of it was. First of all, Carmen Electra was playing the part of one of Jenny McCarthy's friends in the movie, yes that is right writing this Oscar contender was not enough for her she needed to star in it as well so to ensure she would get nominated for Best Original Screenplay and Best Actress-the greed is astonishing to me. In Carmen's role as the friend she had to do nothing then pretend that she was ghetto in a manner that I am not sure people actually act. I think movies just make us want to think that people behave like this. Carmen Electra certainly doesn't act like that...do I smell a Best Supporting Actress nominee in her future...I mean she was robbed at the Golden Globes.

The movie essentially opened up after Jenny McCarthy had been dumped by her very hot and very stupid male model boyfriend. She stood on Hollywood Boulevard crying, screaming, throwing herself on the floor and against random people, and basically making an ass of herself. I was on the floor laughing from the first moment. It was just so ludicrous. The plot of the movie is ridiculous, and basically non-existent but essentially J. McCarth's character has been dumped and is now trying to get over the love that she has lost with the help of her two best femal friends and her best male friend who, of course, happens to be in love with her and is played by Eddie Kay Thomas of the American Pie movies, and frankly could be her son. No I am not saying that he could be her son in the movie, but rather could actually be her son. I'm not sure why the casting department thought that he was the one for this role, but they must have thought the chemistry was smoking between him and his mother figure, J. McCarth.

I can't imagine that Jenny is a writer by trade so there were entire parts of the movie that I sat there simply staring at the screen because it was nothing more then stupidity.....and not the good kind of stupidity, but just when you thought she was going to lose you she reels you back in. Quite honestly, there are certain parts of this moviet that I would love to describe to you in detail, but I just do not think that I can do them justice, but let me just leave you with a few teaser images in your head so that you will run, don't walk, to your local blockbuster and rent this movie:

Jenny, after having taking acid, sitting on a couch convulsing and twitching.

Jenny throwing a temper tantrum, covered in vomit and exposing her breasts which are less real then my imaginary friend Jerome, outside of her ex-boyfriend's fashion show.

A naked man with a bass fish stuck up his ass...on purpose.

Jenny hurling herself at a bus...yes hurling herslef at a bus, and being very pleased with herself for accomplishing it.

I repeat...run, don't walk, to Blockbuster. Are you still sitting there reading? GO!

If the Names Tyler Christopher and Natalia Livingston Mean Anything to You, Then We Are Officially in Love

2006-02-18T03:27:00.000-05:00

There are many words to describe Brian Hewson: cute, funny, sarcastic, neurotic, nervous, slightly obsessive, at times bloated from the immense amount of sodium he likes to eat, but in case you didn't notice one of the words that is not on that list is trendy. I am under no delusions. I am cool in the sense that I like who I am and I like who my friends are and I can go with the flow of things and get myself in there with all sorts of people. I am not cool in the sense that I am hip and trendy. I would never be mistaken for a hipster or a Los Angeles socialite, but this evening I made one of my few sojourns to a place that is pseudo-trendy: Koi in West Hollywood.

Koi is a sushi restaurant that celebrities apparently like to frequent. Kristyn, Elle, and I wanted to get sushi. I would never in my life dream of suggesting going to Koi.....I usually don't even attempt anywhere that is even pseudo trend-o-rama unless it is on the suggestion of one of my many friends who are far hipper then I. This is not a bad thing, but rather a simple statement of fact. I revel in my dorkiness and complete and utter lack of hipness. I suppose to a degree it is kind of hip to not be. I think the style that I am going to attempt to emulate is dork chic. Can you see it? Regardless, Kristyn had been to Koi, and suggested it. We didn't think that we were going to be able to get into the restaurant, but apparently they do take walk-ins, and luckily it was within walking distance of my apartment. We gave it a try, got there, and succeeded. We didn't get a table persay, but we were sitting in the lounge area on plush couches, and there was a table for us to use so it was really just as good as actually getting one of the dining room tables. Even better perhaps.

I really intended to have this be a drink free evening, but we got there, and thoughts of vodka tonics started swirling in my head. There was a wine vs. vodka debate, but ultimately I wanted the vodka tonic. Drinks were ordered, food was ordered, and then I noticed someone who looked vaguley familair standing at the bar. He was quite a good looking man, but I knew I had seen that profile somewhere before. Tyler Christopher aka Nikolas Cassadine of General Hospital fame. That's right. Nikolas Cassadine was standing in Koi with a very pretty young women. Now, I knew that Tyler had been dating Natalia Livingston aka Emily Quartermaine Cassadine his on again off again paramour on General Hospital. But they had broken apart, so I did not let myself get my hopes up that Nikolas and Emily were at Koi at the same time as me. But then the girl turned her head...and guess what...it was Natalia Livingston, and they were looking very cozy together. Giddiness flooded my body.

I am not one to get star struck. I am constantly seeing celebrities, and it always excites me but I don't really have the urge to go up to them and say anything, for the most part. I notice them. I point them out to whomever I am with, and that is the end of it. Not with my soap stars. Seeing a soap star is like someone else seeing Brad Pitt or Britney Spears. I freak out. Add to that these are stars of my soap, General Hospital, and there was no containing my delight. I was torn, however, because I didn't want to interrupt their evening, and yet how could I let the chance to tell them how much I loved General Hospital.

Kristyn and Elle of course made me realize that I would be kicking myself all the way back to the east coast, if I didn't go and say something to them. I did the sit down/stand up thing a couple of times, and then I got up and went straight into the bathroom. I needed to look as if there was something else going on for no other reason then to calm my own insanity that they would think that I was a crazy person, which frankly wouldn't be too far off the mark. I exited the bathroom, and made a beeline over to them, politely interrupted their conversation and told them both how much I enjoyed their performances and that General Hospital was at the top of my list as far as television is concerened. They were both extremely gracious and pleasant and thanked me, and they didn't seem to be at all bothered by my intrusion into their conversation which was nice of them. Tyler spoke first, and for a moment it was off putting to hear the voice that I associate with Nikolas Cassadine speaking to me.

I made my intereaction with them very brief. I could have rambled on forever and ever, but I wanted to leave them with a very pleasant encounter. Secretly, I wanted them to talk about me for a moment after I left them and say wasn't that sweet for him to come over and tell us how much he enjoyed the show. I doubt that they even gave me a second thought, but a boy can dream.

I sat back down, briimming with excitement, and of course that is the moment the waitress decided to come over and ask me if I wanted another drink. High off of my brief soray into the world of soap stardom, I said yes knowing that it was probably going to be a ten dollar drink. I didn't care for much longer because the next thing I knew I was looking at the reception area to see Michal Saucedo, who used to play Juan on General Hospital many years ago, and do we know who he is married to....Rebecca Herbst aka Elizabeth Webber Spencer, one of my all time favorite General Hospital characters. She was there...they were meeting Natalia and Tyler. I couldn't believe that I was seeing GH stars at every turn, and a part of me wanted nothing more then to go to Rebecca Herbst and tell her how much I adored her character. I have a special affection for the character of Elizabeth because her first airdate happened to be the first episode that I watched as a viewer. The storyline in which she got raped, was one of the most heartbreaking that I have watched on GH, and she did a phenomenal job with some very tough material. Of course, I couldn't go over and say any of this to her because she was sitting at a table with two people I had already interrupted. It is one thing to say something to the two of them when they are standing at the bar waiting to be seated, but it is a completely different thing to go over to the four of them as they were enjoying a dinner with friends. I didn't want to disturb them so my encounter with Rebecca was thwarted. It was nice to see her though, and I admit I tried to engage in an accidental bump into as she was exiting the bathroom, but the logistics were not there.

I am thrilled to death that I was able to see some of my GH favorites before I left LA. I have seen celebrities here, and I have seen other soap actors both in LA and NY, but I had yet to see any of my GHers...and tonight I got to talk to Emily and Nikolas and see Elizabeth and Juan. Secretly, I loved the fact that the Tyler, Natalia, and Rebecca were having dinner together.....Nikolas, Emily, and Elizabeht togeher! YAY!

In case you didn't realize it, I am a soap opera fanatic. Soaps are my thing. As much as I love my primetime television, if I had to pick between my soaps or my nighttime shows...I would have to go with my soaps all the way. Shocking....a gay man who loves soap operas. Who would have seen that one comnig?

Line Cutters Will Be Ejected From the Park

2006-02-17T22:35:00.000-05:00

This is not a rant about being kicked out of Disney World. This is a rant about a metaphorical line cutter in a metaphorical park. What is this metaphor I speak of? I will tell you. Granted, I did not exit the proverbial closet until I was a senior in high school, but that is long before many people do, and while I did have the occasional girlfriend for appearances sake I never really let those things go beyond a couple of weeks. There may have been the occasional hand holding or kiss on the cheek, but my first kiss was not with a girl. It was with a boy...in the back of a movie theater that was playing Shakespeare In Love, a movie that I had already seen and if you know me I very rarely go see movies that I have already seen. That's right. I was hoping for some makeout action. The reason that I am telling you this is to illustrate the point that I am basically a career homosexual. No, I wasn't telling anyone from the womb that I was gay, but it is apparent to all around that I was gay probably from the moment of conception. I yearned for Barbie dolls and My Little Pony's for god sakes.

I have been at this whole dating boys thing for a while now, and I have yet to really make it work. I have had boyfriends, but for the most part they have all been a disaster, and the ones who don't become my boyfriends, which is most of them, are even worse. It is a string of lunatics and assholes, and I have yet to grasp onto that oh so elusive guy who makes my heart go pitter patter. There is another type of homosexual in the world, though. These are what I like to call the line cutters. These are people who after several years of enjoying a presumably happy heterosexual lifestyle decide that they are going to come out of the closet. Now I would just like to say that I am all for people figuring out who they are and joining the ranks of the gays. The more the merrier is what I say, but these converts are not following the rules. They aren't dating crazy person after crazy person after crazy person after crazy person. One minute they are straight with a boyfriend or girlfriend and the next minute they are gay with a boyfriend or girlfriend. These new gay partners just seem to fall into their laps with no effort while the rest of us who have been toiling away on the give me a damn boyfriend who returns my calls chain gang or sentenced to another two years of servitutde because a line cutter has swooped in and stolen the next guy.

Is the key to finding a boyfriend pretending to be heterosexual for a little while? If this were Disney Land, then the line cutters would be ejected from the park, but apparently this is one line that you can cut. Once again I say I welcome all the individuals who are discovering their true identity. I applaud you for taking that step, but could one of you please give me a call so that you can take the homing beacon I seemed to have had implanted in me that makes the lunatics FLOCK to me, and me flock to them. I mean, seriously, have I not had the beacon long enough. You converts know who you are...your the ones with boyfriends, but when and if that ends come and get my homing beacon. It will certainly give you lots of stories to tell, and then you can start your very own blog and rant and rave about things.

I'm Noticing a Disturbing Trend....

2006-02-17T22:14:00.000-05:00

And where is this disturbing trend that I am noticing? It is on General Hospital. It is a subtle trend...one that they use only every few years, but once is more then enough. Let me set the scene for you.....Emily is essentially on her death bed after the onset of meningitis which was a complication of her breast cancer. The prognosis is grm. Her loved ones have come to say goodbye to her, but the one person that she loves the most, Nikolas, cannot be with her because she is married to Zander. Not wanting to be far from Emily, Nikolas lies in the bed in the next room thanks to some strings that Monica has pushed. Nikolas yearns for Emily, and places his hand on the wall. Emily and Nikolas both fall asleep, and have the same exact dream in which Nikolas kisses Emily, bringing her back from the brink of death. They both remember the dream, and attribute Emily's recovery to the power of their love.

Can I vomit in my mouth a little bit? First of all, I hate the couples that are so goddamn lovey dovey and for a long time that is what Emily and Nikolas were. I was forced to watch scene after scene of them yearning for each other, and then once the yearning stopped it was scene after scene of them making out while breathing so heavy I think that they were blowing the camera men over, followed by passionate....and once again I hold the vomit back...love making. Why do these soap opera characters insist on using the term making love? I hate it. I will never ask someone to make love to me. I don't know what I will say when I want to be tender and romantic, but it won't be that. But none of this was as ridiculous to me as Nikolas and Emily having the same dream, and his love bringing her back to life. Were they incapable of coming up with an actual medical explanation? I realize we have to suspend our disbelief when watching television...hell I loved it when Port Charles delved into the world of vampires and angels....but General Hospital has some semblance of realism about it. Therefore, dreamig the same damn dream is out.

Emily and Nikolas have long since broke up because of many factors that made them far more interesting then when they were just in love, but now an epidemic is sweeping through Port Charles and our young hero Dillon has been afflicted with it. He is a freshman in college, and the love of his life, ,Georgie, is a senior in high school. The disease is spreading through the town rapidly, and beecause the cure seems to come from Luke's blood, there isn't a lot of it to go around. Dillon's loved ones begin to fear that he is going to die, and thus Dillon and Georgie decide to get married. Yes, married. I find this to be ridiculous as well, but that is not what this particular rant is about. After much cajoling on the part of Maxie, Mac agrees and in a moment of rare humanity, Tracy agreed to go along with it if Mac gave permission since Georgie is only 17.

They marry, and Dillon takes a turn for the worse. Georgie refuses to leave his side, and gets in the bed with him as he fitfully sleeps. She eventually falls asleep, and what happens.....we are treated to a dream sequence in which Georgie and Dillon are dressed to the wedding nines and married. They have cake, and say vows, and dance. In the final moment of the dream, Georgie tells Dillon to live. He awakes with a start causing Georgie to wake up. Miracle of miracles Dillon's fever has gone down(a good sign for this particular disease...or that is what seems to be what the intrepid medical staff of GH seem to say).....I can't remembere who started to describe the dream first...oh wait it was Georgie. Dillon stops her in astonishment as he realizes that they had the same dream.

What brought Dillon back to life? Georgie's god damn love. I'm all for telling love stories, but these are ridiculous scenarios and the fact that General Hospital has donw this twice, albeit the circumstances are a bit different in each case but essentially the sheer ridiculousness of the circumstances is the same, in less then five years is just ridiculous.

I never want to see this happen again. Come up with another way to bring these people back to life. Give me a medical reason.....give me something other then miraculous cures of the hart, and people united in the same dream. Not acceptable.

Take note producers of General Hospital....take note. Never again.

I'm glad that Emily and Dillon are alive. I'm just not happy how they were kept alive.

Was it a dream?

2006-02-13T17:51:00.000-05:00

Thursday night I went out with my friend Erin from high school who was visiting me here in LA as my time in California rapidly and thankfully draws to a close, Elle and later on in the evening her boyfriend Robert, and for a portion of the evening Kristyn and her very cute South African friend Chad.

The going out part, however, is not what I want to tell you about because as fun as it was that was not the surreal part of the evening. I was drunk. Wow, that's a statement that I don't use infrequently. Erin, Elle, Robert, and I were walking back to my apartment. I believe that we stopped in the 7-11. I didn't realize that 7-11 was a West Coast thing until I came to the West Coast. Previous to here I had only seen 7-11's around where I grew up, and I think that I have seen a random one in the city. Regardless, we went there and I think that there may have been something very funny that happened there, but at the moment it eludes me so I will return to telling you about the surreal part of the evening.

Robert, Elle, Erin, and I were standing in the kitchen eating the pasta that we had made for dinner and then proceeded to leave out for four or five hours effectively making it disgusting, but I was drunk and more then willing to eat it anyway, Elle and Erin didn't seem to have any interest in it, and I have no idea what Robert's excuse was but he was chowing down. I don't think he has the drunk card to play so that just must mean he likes old pasta that has been sitting out. I guess everyone has different taste buds. As I stood there shoveling, and when i say shoveling I mean that in every sense of the word-I don't even know why I was bothering to chew it, the pasta in my mouth I heard the meow of a cat outside. Now I know that the next door neighbors have a dog, but I had never seen a cat anywhere in the vicinity. Then I heard it again. No one else seemed to hear it so it just started to look like I was so drunk that I was hallucinating, but lo and behold when I opened the door there was a cat sitting outside of our door, and once I opened the door he pounced his way right in and started to get the lay of the land.

In my drunken state someone probably could have convinced me to keep the cat, but of course that was not a viable option. He did have a collare with a phone number on it so I decided to get down on all fours and attempt to call the number. The fact that the cat would not sit still and the vast amounts of drinks that I had made it rather difficult for me to see the numbers straight. It took a couple of tries before I actually was able to input the phone number into my cell phone, but I managed to do it and get someone's answering machine. I started to leave a message, but a man picked up and very nonchalantly told me that Sox was very friendly and that he just went out for a walk and he would be down to fetch him in a minute. I took this to mean that he lived upstairs from me or something, but I know who all of my neighbors are, and after a few moments I realize that the man had not even asked where it is that I lived. I'm not sure how he expected to find the cat.

In the midst of all of this commotion we thought it would be a good idea to leave the front door wide open, and Sox took that opportunity to go out and continue to explore the Villa Alfredo. He went up the stairs to Danny's apartment, and I followed to find Danny and two women standing in front of his apartment smoking. Danny asked what the fuck I was doing in that way that I know he was being funny but anyone else might have been very taken aback by. It does come off as rather abrasive. I explained the cat situation and he proceeded to tell me how much he hated cats. I then stood between him and Sox to protect the cat from any sort of drunken rage that Danny might fly into. Danny then asked me to do a bump with him for old times sake. I'm not sure in what old times we were doing bumps together, but I declined and he just kept repeating for old times sake. Frankly, it just makes no sense because you say that when you want someone to do something with you that you always did together but weren't going to be doing again for a while or hadn't done in a while, and Danny and I hadn't ever taken bumps together. The old times sake was just inapprorpriate in that instance. Not one to be deterred, Danny then switched to getting me to do a shot for old times sake. Now using old times sake with a shot is appropriate because we have done shots together. I said no no no and then I just gave in and said yes, and that is when I hear Elle calling me to tell me that the owner of Sox was there.

I picked up Sox and headed down the stairs. Sox had been calm as can be in my arms, but when I got down the stairs and started to walk toward the door he began to squirm, and then he lept out of arms once I reached Elle who was standing with Sox's owner who was dressed in a very long, very pink night shirt and no shoes. I was being blinded by the sheer hot pinkness of this shirt that this middle aged man was wearing. I have no idea where he came from or how in the world he figured out that it was our apartment complex that Sox had wandered into. Was this a place that Sox wandered into often? How did I not notice, and how did no one notice that there was a cat who was sneaking into the gate with them? Lots of mysteries surronding this cat, but instead of waiting to find out the answers to these I ran back upstairs to take my shot. As if I needed to take a damn shot, and yet I was all about it.

Somehow, Erin and Elle found their way upstairs to Danny's apartments and were very frightened by him and the two women that were there. The three of them were clearly cracked out, and Elle and Erin seemed to think that I had been lured into the apartment for nefarious purposes. I took my shot and went back downstairs with them, and explained that Danny was very nice but loved his drugs. They were not deterred. The fear and creepiness remained in their eyes, and I had been them I probably would have thought the same thing. Danny is a little creepy....let's be honest here.

There was something very surreal about everything that happened after we got home, and I have weird dreams. If I didn't know that it were reality I might have thought it was a dream that I had. And now I wonder...where is Sox?

How I Love the Gilmore Girls...let me count the ways.

2006-02-13T17:31:00.000-05:00

Fine. So I'm not actually going to sit here and count the ways that I love the Gilmore Girls but I am going to rant and rave and laugh and praise and cheer and scold and go through the gamut of emotions about my girls called Gilmore because I do love them so...even when they disappoint me(Lorelai dating Digger anyone!) I stick with them because even in their weakest hour they can bring a smile to my face and a laugh to my throat.

I have to say that I am thrilled beyond belief that Lorelai and Rory have been reunited, and Friday night dinners have been reinstated. It was interesting to see the Gilmores in a fractured state, but it has only made the fact that their relationships are getting back on track all the more satisfying. Lorelai fighting with her parents is always enjoyable, but it is more enjoyable to see her infuriating them in that way that they clearly love, but would never admit. It seems that Richard and Emily are beginning to accept the fact that Lorelai and Luke are for keeps, but in true Gilmore fashion they couldn't welcome him into the family with a hug, but instead through fear mongering tales of insurance fraud that were so convincing they had Lorelai swept up in the fear, and when they were outside finally realizing what had happened to them Lorelai turned to Luke and told him that he had been "Gilmored". LOVED IT! What I do not love is the fact that Luke wanted to postpone the wedding because he found out that he had a daughter. It was too stressful for him. Really? What was stressful? Getting ready to marry the women who is like runaway bride 2.0 when she is in a state of mind to actually not run. Lorelai wants to marry Luke, and even planned the entire wedding. He will have to do nothing but show up so the stressful excuse doesn't fly with me. But Lorelai hasn't really cancelled everything so let's hope that the season ends with a Luke/Lorelai wedding giving us a very married Lorelai for the final season, and maybe a baby by the series finale next May. Just putting it out there.

This week we saw the return of Christopher. Christopher is played by David Sutcliffe, and I love me some David Sutcliffe. I think the man is so hot. I cannot even get over it. I find him irressistible although his hair was a little short this time around, and I could have gone for it to be a bit longer, but he was still yummy nonetheless. I have to say that I really like the fact that he was there to interact with Rory and not be a foil to Luke and Lorelai's relationship. I think that Christopher should definitley have more of a presence on the show, but find him someone else to be romantically paired with other then Lorelai....perhaps the mother of Luke's daughter.....now there is an interesting possibility........

I really seem to be plotting out story for the girls today. They are pretty damn good ideas if I do say so myself. I am just going to end on a note about the heinous previews that the WB supplies for upcoming shows. The preview for this episode of Gilmore Girls CLEARLY wanted us to think that Rory was telling Lorelai that she was pregnant. I mean they couldn't have made it any more obvious if they had written it in the sky, but this astute viewer new that Rory's shocking news was going to be that she moved in with Logan because after being promoted to the editor of the Yale Daily News after Paris's ouster, Paris did a little ouster of her own and booted Rory to the streets. Uhm....Lorelai is well aware that her daughter is doing it all over the place with Logan...and Rory was cavorting around with Dean when he was married. The fact that Rory was forced to move in with Logan because she found herself HOMELESS is less then shocking news.

I'm just saying.

Do straight guys like to kiss a girl when she is wearing lip gloss?

2006-02-13T17:04:00.000-05:00

You may have picked up on the subtle hints that I have been giving, but in case you missed it let me just tell you that I am gay. For the most part that means that the people that I date aren't wearing makeup. I am by no means the most masculine guy you are ever going to meet, but there are droves of gay men in the world who are far more feminine then I, and a lot of them wear makeup. Personally, a guy who wears makeup isn't all that atrractive to me.

I want to date a guy, and as effeminate as I may be a guy wearing makeup is a turn off to me. I don't dig it. Once the makeup comes out the odds are that me and the guy are going to be nothig more then friends, but sometimes caution is thrown to the wind and you try something new. Let me just make an observation here: when someone says that they are going to throw caution to the wind, and on many occasion that someone has been me...I'm all about throwing caution to the wind when I have thrown back a couple of vodka tonics.....but as I was saying, when someone says that they are going to throw caution to the wind the wind usually carries the caution right back to them to slap them in the face. Being daring hasn't really worked that well for me, and yet life would not be exciting if we weren't daring, and thus I continue on my adventures. At the very least they give me a lot of funny stories to report back here on my blog.

So last Tuesday evening, I went out with Elle to get some drinks, and ultimately we wound up at Fiesta. Later in the week, I was hanging out with Elle again and I turned to her and told her that it seemed that she was my good luck charm. I always seemed to meet a guy when I was with her. She corrected that statement and replaced herself with Fiesta, because it seems that every time I am there I meet someone. Granted, the two times that I was there with Elle I did meet someone, but I'm inclined to believe the theory that it is indeed Fiesta, and not Elle, that brings the men to me. Look back at my track record...look back at this blog...how many times has a story started off with me going to Fiesta and ended with me wanting to shoo some guy out of my apartment because he was spitting water on my foot or claiming to have a stomach ache. Actually, if we look back at the guys that I met at Fiesta would it really be appropriate to call it a good luck charm? I think a bad luck charm would be a more accurate description, perhaps a plague upon my love life. I only meet people who seemed to have been dropped on their head one too many times as a baby there. I mean, honestly, where did I find these guys. Truth be told more often then not I just go with the flow, and after the evening has ended I tell myself I should have listened to my first instinct and just went home and caught up on General Hospital. Now there is something that never lets me down.

I have strayed very far from my story, but we shall now return to Fiesta. Elle and I were sitting there having drinks when she saw this very well dressed guy sitting next to us, and turned to me and asked if he was on tv. I had never seen the guy in my life so it was a pretty safe bet that he was in fact not on television. Elle being the friendly girl that she is decided to talk to him and find out where she knew him, and can you even guess why he looked familair to her? I don't think that you can. Literally it is one of the more random things that I have heard in my life. He waxed her eyebrows a couple of time. Not to give anything from my story away, but it seems as if I am making a habit of hooking up with the people that are responsible or are going to be responsible or want to be responsible for the hair and beauty treatments that Elle under goes. Is that some sort of new weird fetish that I just made up? As far as fetishes go, I think it would be pretty tame. I also don't think I could get very far with it.

What really started me showing any interest in Armond the eye waxer was the fact that he seemed to show interest in me. I think I have to just admit that I like attention. I probably crave it on some level, because the moment that some guy seems to have an interest in me I will just go along with where the night takes me even if I knew I wasn't going to like him. Yeah I need to learn to not to do that. Armond told me that I looked like Justin Timberlake from the side. I do not know where people come up with this stuff. I do not look like Justin Timberlake from the side nor do I look like Heath Ledger. I got that one too recently. Has anyone seen what those two men look like? As much as I would like to be some sort of hybrid, Ledgirlake if you will, there is no way that I look like either one. Hands down no way. But if someone wants to say it to me that doesn't mean that I won't go along with it.

Frankly, the rest of the evening was less then noteworthy. It was enjoyable, more because I was hanging out with Elle then Armond but he was a very nice guy, There were more drinks and dinner, but frankly if I took you through every step of the evening I think that you would just fall asleep. Setting the scene is one thing, but taking you through the minutae that you just don't need is something completely different. So I fast forward to the end of dinner when Armond asks me if I want to go back to his apartment to watch a movie. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Watch a movie. If you do not know by the age of 15 years old that being invited to someone's house to watch a movie is code for let's hook up then someone needs to give you the guide book. I knew exactly what he wanted, and even in that moment I was so into it but I went along with it anyway. Seriously, I need someone to like hit me on the hand and say no when I do these things. I may need to be conditioned like Pavlov's dogs.

We went to the video store that was by his apartment, which thankfully was walking distance from Fiesta...or is it not so thankfully. The fact that it was walking distance was a major factor in my affirmative answer. If I had had to go through the effort of getting into a car with him I don't think that I would have accepted the invitation. Damn West Hollywood and its oh so convenient apartment to bar proximity. Armond decided to rent In Her Shoes and Just Like Heaven. Two movies that I own and immensely enjoy, and already I was more excited about the movies then I was about going home with Armond. When a gay man is more interested in spending an evening with Toni Collete, Cameron Diaz, and Shirley McClaine instead of a cute boy that wants to hook up then you know the spark is not there. Hell it will never be there. I think I would have been more attracted to Shirley McClaine. Fine that is a lie, but my point is made.

We went back to his apartment, and he started In Her Shoes. I knew that we weren't going to make it very far into the movie before he made a move on me, but I thought that if I just watched the movie and only gave him the occasional glance he would get the idea that the more I was allowed to think about the situation and the less that the vodka was helping me do the thinking the more I wanted to not be there. Wrong. I don't even think Cameron Diaz had found her job at the dog washing place by the time Armond was on top of me. Yes, he climbed on top of me, moved in for the kill, and I just let my lips take over.......and then I hit reverse. His lips were slathered in lip gloss. It felt like I was kissing something very gooey. I don't like moistness or stickiness or any of that sort of thing so my lips being met with what felt like slime was not fun for me. Any inclination I had to even give this a try was lost. Armond could see that the lip gloss was completely repulsing me so he went to wipe it off, but by that point it was too late. I tried to get back into it, but I had never really been in the zone so I had to bring it to an end and make a retreat. Yes, I disappointed Armond, but better that then lead him on.

This brings me back to my original question of straight guys and lip gloss. Is it that I am just unaccustomed to kissing someone who has product on their lips, and since most of my early kisses were with boys I never got the experience. Is that since I am gay I expect to get lips that are product free, and straight men have a mechanism that prepares them for the onslaught of gook. I don't know. All I know is that the next guy who likes me and wears lips gloss is going to have to be immediately let down, because I just don't think it is very nice to kiss someone and then immediately wipe my lips because I hate the sensation of anything on them. I'm talking I don't even like to use chapstick because I find it to be icky. Yes people.....if I don't want chapstick on my lips, then Sephora lip gloss for women on a man is out of the question.

R.I.P. Tony Jones(Fictional Character...there has been no actual death in my circle)

2006-02-11T21:44:00.000-05:00

I'm going to admit. I just watched Thursday and Friday's episodes of General Hospital, and there was all sorts of good stuff going on. Tony Jones died. This is not good in the lighthearted comedic sort of way, but I love love love when my soap operas make me cry. It is cathartic. As the life slowly oozed out of Tony and he said goodbye to Lucas, Bobbie, and Luke there were tears forming in my eyes. Granted, General Hospital has sidelined Tony and Bobbie majorly over the past few years, but hopefully Tony's death and Lucas's coming out will re-energize Bobbie's storyline, plus with the return of Dr. Noah Drake maybe they can give Bobbie a little loving in the afternoon.

Why do I love Laura Wright as Carly so? She is so fun and feisty, and yet she has it together. They seem to really be bringing out the Spencer in this incarnation of Carly, and I LOVE IT! When Carly referred to Lucky as her cousin and had such concern for him I was doing some jumping up and down for joy(actually I am exhausted, and the jumping up and down was more metaphorical then anything else). Carly is a Spencer with a lot of family on the canvas, but they seemed to have forgotten that in the past few years. Keep Carly spencerfied, and get her away from Sonny. Laura Wright's Carly has yet to be tainted by the plague that is Sonny and Carly, and let's keep it that way. Put her with Jason or Patrick, but just keep her away from Sonny.

Speaking of Sonny, it is my belief that he ruins characters that I once held near and dear to my heart. Currently, he is destroying Emily. He is turning Emily into one of those characters that I want to straight up kick and the teeth. That may be a harsh reaction, but for the love of God if I have to see Emily profess her love and desire to be with Sonny one more time I am going to throw up in my mouth. I could care less if Sonny and Emily have sex or go to the zoo. Why does everyone love Sonny so much? Send him to jail, have him gunned down in a mob war, or have him join the god damn circus. I could care less. Just get rid of him. Now I realize that every soap viewer that exists loves loves loves Sonny, so he will be on that show till he chooses not to(This is not to say that Maurice Bernard isn't a talented and lovely man...I just cannot stand the character of Sonny Corinthos.)

Next week it seems that Courtney is going to die. She is much more central to the canvas, so there should be more tears surronding her death. Fingers crossed for some sobbing. I'm not kidding. I want Courtney's death to make me ball........the last good cry I had at my soap was when Carly, as played by Tamara Braun, was told that Michael was dead and then proceeded to have a funeral for him. That was some gut wrenching stuff......

And another thing...who are Sam's parents? Is she a Cassadaine? Is she Robert and Holly's child? Is she Luke and Holly's child? I mean there is potential for lots of drama with all of it...personally I'm rooting for Sam to be a Cassadine, but something tells me that Emma Samm's return as Holly has something to do with her being Sam's mother. Just a hunch.

Arthur and Robert

2006-02-08T21:17:00.000-05:00

As a gay man myself, I understand the concept of meeting a really fun and cool girl, and developing a non-sexual crush on her. I've done it many times myself, but there are limits to the depth of this devotion because whether it is sexual or not when you like someone too much too fast it can be a little bit off putting.

This brings me to Arthur and Robert, two thirty-something gay men that Kristyn, Elle, and I met when we were at O Bar. They were nice enough guys, and they clearly had money but had I met them on my own I probably would have forgotten about them to be perfectly honest. They didn't really stick out in my mind, but the two of them fell in love with Kristyn. I think that it was love at first sight. Numbers were exchanged and we proceeded to leave O Bar, and they proceeded to call Kristyn three or four times over the course of that evening. Why were they calling her? I'm not exactly sure but I think it was for no other reason then to tell her how wonderful she is. Don't get me wrong, Kristyn is wonderful, but it was a bit odd that these two could not stop calling her to tell her how much they liked her and wanted to hang out with her.

Over the course of the next couple of days they continued to call Kristyn. They could not get enough of her, and it finally culminated in a lunch date at Joey's Cafe on Saturday afternoon, which I attended. Ok...these dudes were calling her and texting her up to the minute that we got there. One of them texted her ten minutes before we got there to say see you in ten minutes. Are you kidding me? This is getting to be a bit out of hand. There are times when I am very excited to see someone and I just cannot wait to hang out with them, but I do not go as far as to text them ten minutes before I am going to see them. It just seems unneccesary to me. Do we need to be in that much contact that we know when we are going to see someone down to the minute. Let's keep a little mystery in life with that two or three minute window of lateness. I don't want to know that you are going to be there at 1:53pm, tell me 1:50pm and just roll with being three minutes late. I can deal.

I was fairly silent during this lunch, oh I had my moments of interjection but for the most part I was in my own world for whatever reason. These two could not get enough of Kristyn. They were hanging on every word that she said, and the lunch seemed to last a long time.

Later in the day after we had parted ways we wound up running into them sitting at Starbucks as we walked to Trader Joe's to get some wine...that's right we were going to have some 4pm wine to get us primed and ready for the evening ahead of us. What were Arthur and Robert doing as they sat at the Starbucks? Discussing the plane tickets that they were going to buy when they came in a month to Kristyn's birthday party. I wish that I had the type of funds to just decide to fly across the country for a girl's birthday party that I had known for four days. Listen, if they have the means to do that then more power to them, but damn. You realize that if someone you were dating started moving this fast you would get freaked out? It just would not be acceptable. You cannot behave this way when you are starting to date someone, but the speeds do tend to be different with friendships. Now that I think about it you can get very close with a friend very fast, and no one sees it as weird, but if some guy were to be booking a flight to my birthday party after knowing me for four days....

Hell to the no. That's all that I'm saying. But if some cute and fun girl were to do the same thing, then I imagine that I would be down with it. It's a thin line between friend and lover....what does that even mean? I'll tell you what it means...it is Brian trying to be clever with his ending, and having nothing says something that makes no sense, but then I call myself out on it. :)

Sami Brady

2006-02-06T23:21:00.000-05:00

Last Monday I stumbled into bootcamp weary eyed as usual. I've started going to the 7:45am class, and for some reason in that class Barry makes the woman run for an hour on Mondays, and it is just an hour of arms and triceps for the guys. I'm not a muscle guy, anyone who looks at me can realize that, and I know that I hold all of my weight in my mid-section so that means that I need me some cardio, and I bet if I said to Barry that I really wanted to do cardio he would let me run on that treadmill with the women, but do I speak up and say that. Of course not, because as much as I know that I need to do the cardio and get on that treadmill I am elated to not have to. I hate running on the treadmill. I mean I hate it more then I hate anything else. I know that a lot of pushing myself on the treadmill is mind over matter, but that matter wants to stay on top. I can't get to mind over matter because of the pain. I like riding the stationary bike better, I can push myself and it is not the abhorrent act of running on the treadmill. Yes, I said abhorrent and I meant it.

None of that has to do with Sami Brady. So I was sitting on the bench waiting for the earlier class to end, and the disgusting waves of heat that emanate from the room were wafting into the lobby, and the nastiness started to rise in my throat. When those waves of heat and sweat come at you in that waiting room, it is vomitacious. Yes, vomitacious. It is suffocating when you are in there, and vomitacious when it attacks you as an observor. I usually like to watch to see what is going on at the end of the earlier class to get a vague idea of what is going to happen in my class even though it isn't neccesarily an indication. The vomitacious wave hit me, and I turned my head to see a cute, short blond signing in, and when she turned her head I saw it. It was Alison Sweeney aka Sami Brady of Days of Our Lives.

I have seen stars, and many of them, in both Los Angeles and NYC, but there is something about seeing a soap star. I love soap operas to such an extent, that I become a star struck fan when I see them. It is as if I can hardly believe that they are standing there. I think that it has something to do with the fact that we watch them everyday. It is different then watching a weekly series that has re-runs and hiatuses and gets cancelled. Soap operas just keep going and going and going, and often characters and the actors who play them are there for years and years and years. There is an attachment, and even though Days of Our Lives isn't my soap it is still a soap.

I know that they are just people, and I shouldn't think of them as any different, but it was Sami Brady. That is an iconic soap character. So when she jumped off the treadmill, leaving it running, and went into the lobby to catch her breath and get some air I saw my moment. As she walked back into the room, and walked past me I lept up from the push-ups that I was doing, and whispered in her ear that that Barry doesn't like it when people leave the machines running when they aren't on them.

She said a polite thank you, and went back on her treadmill. I think that she knew that shew wasn't supposed to leave it on and just didn't care. I also don't think that she appreciated the bit of advice that I gave her. Frankly, I don't care. It was Sami Brady, and I had to say something to her. Even if it was something as lame as turn off your treadmill when you jump off of it.

She may have been back on one of the days that I haven't been there, but a week has gonen by and I have gone four times and not seen her. Now if someone from General Hospital walked into that room I am not sure what I would do. Watch out.

Who Would Have Guessed? Part 2

2006-01-31T18:42:00.000-05:00

Our quest to get into the Roosevelt Hotel was a success. We got there, and got in. This place is no joke. It is a bar that is by the ball in the Roosevelt Hotel. Now we are about to enter the brian is drunk and the boy is hot combination zone again. Of course when Michael asked who was going to buy him a drink, I voulnteered and promptly paid 31.15 for two vodka tonics. Yes, not only do I get boy crazy when I am drunk, but I get straight up stupid whipping out my credit card and buying people drinks in trendy hotel bars. I certainly know how to live in the moment, but the next day I can do nothing but slap myself on the head for that moment. The Roosevelt Hotel was what it was. We stayed there for a little while, and then proceeded to get into another cab that took us back to West Hollywood and back to Fiesta. That's right folks we went right back where we started.

Drinks were had...good times were had....Elle ordered a quesadilla that made me want to vomit. (Oh....the lovely expression of the evening was in reference to throwing up in one's own mouth and then swallowing. For some reason that was the reaction that everyone had to everything, and they needed to express in that oh so lovely way. He says having done it multiple times himself and not just during this evening). I am not sure what it was about the quesadilla sitting in front of me that was making me so ill, but it was. I literally wanted to beg Elle to stop eating that. It was making my stomach turn. So I just continued to drink. Always a good solution, and no it was not the alcohol that was making me feel sick. I had had a lot to drink over the course of the evening and had spread it out well, it was actually the nasty ass quesadilla that was sitting in front of me smeared in sour cream and guacamole that was turning me green. There are some nights when you want nothing but food when you are drunk, and there are other nights when food is repulsive. Yeah...it was the latter this time.

Kristyn, Elle, and Robert leave and now it is just me and Michael who once again proceeds to tell me that he has no friends and then runs into about seven people. We go next door to Mickey's, and what does Brian do yet again. Oh i buy him a drink. You might as well give me a membership to the moron club. We are hanging out there for a little while, and then he asks me if I want to go upstairs, which is closed, and dance and makeout. Hot boy, me drunk, making out all equates to something good. So we sneak upstairs, and in case you didn't realize this this is a bold move for me...I'm not one to shake the boat much, and we make out for a bit, and faster then a speeding bullet he has undone my pants and pulled them and my underwear down to my ankles. Nope. Nope. Nope. I realize that some may find this thrilling, but I just find it nerve wracking. I have a hard enough time clearing my mind to be in the moment when in an intimate situation with another person...adding to the fact that someone could walk in on it at any moment does not bode well for it. Faster then he took them down, they were back up much to his disappointment. I may get somewhat malleable when drunk and with a hot boy, but all of my brianness does not go out the window. When push comes to shove, the one true Brian will take over. That, however, did not stop me from agreeing to go back to his house which was very far away near the Roxy on Sunset Boulevard.

So we walked and we walked and we walked.......and we ran into some british guy who was asking for direcctions to Santa Monica. We thought that he meant Santa Monica Bouleavrd which was just up the street, but no no he was actually walking to Santa Monica, which was very very far. He is about to go on his way when Michael recognizes him from the bus earlier in the day. They know each other from the busy, and only the bus. They don't even know each other's names. Michael then offers to let this man that he has met only once to use his car to drive himself to Santa Monica. What? Am I actually witnessing this? Are you kidding me? Michael was completely serious. He was going to let him take the car. Uhm....no. The british guy, realizing that this is crazy as well thank the lord, declines his offer to which Micahel comes back with a second offer of us driving him to Santa Monica in exchange for alcohol. What? We have consumed our body weight in alcohol over the course of the evening..we do not need any more alcohol. I finally managed to break up this ridiculous encounter, and we get back to Michael's apartment.

I'm going to now leave a blank space in the blog entry, because I don't think anyone needs a detailed account of what transpired next. But after all was said and done, I was basically told to leave because he had to work in the morning...he had to be there at noon. Ok.....now I'm not looking for him to morph into my boyfriend instantly, but I had never felt more used in my entire life. It's one thing to do the walk of shame in the morning, it's a whole different thing to do it at 3:30 in the morning on Sunset boulevard. That's right folks. I had to walk home at 3:30 in the morning. All was said and done, and he was said and done with me. He tried to be nice, but it wasn't a very nice thing to do. He then offered me a yogurt for the road....what? are you kidding me? I declined the yogurt, and headed out of the apartment feeling dejected, rejected, and used. Once again I say I didn't want or expect anything from this person, but to be told to leave right after everything is said and done does not make one feel very good. Can you dig it?

I do think that Michael is a nice person, I just don't particularly like the way the situation was handled. Walk of shame at 3:30 in the morning with my only consolation being offered some yogurt on the go...doesn't that exist....the post coital go-gurt.

I'm not sure why I attract and am attracted to these strange individuals, but I think that it is worth some merit, and I also have to say that my next sexual encounter is going to be with someone that I care about. I've tried these random things, and let's be honest...the neurotic in Brian isn't good at the random things, and for that I have to thank Michael because he opened my eyes to that in a way that they had not been opened before.

On a side note...are we not ecstatic that Michelle Williams got a Best Supporting Actress nomination? I always knew that that girl had talent. I was always a Jen fan! That's right. She may be a critically acclaimed queen of the indie world now, but I remember her days from the Creek, and they are nothing to be ashamed of!

Who Would Have Guessed?

2006-01-31T18:02:00.000-05:00

I say this all the time, but I don't think that it is something that can be said enough. It is the nights that you expect to take you absolutely nowhere that wind up taking you everywhere and back. Just to set the scene for you here...it is a random Monday in the month of January. Mondays are not exactly rip roaring parties to begin with. The work week has just started and people are probably still sort of recovering from the weekend. And could there be a month that is anymore blaise then January. If you have a birthday in January then you are lucky because it give you something to look forward to, but for the rest of us who are just coming off all of the holiday hoopla it is as if nothing is really going on. Your at the club, and the music has stopped and the lights go on, and the bartender tells you that you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. Well if you can't stay here then where are you going to go?

Kristyn is here from NYC staying with me and working on some projects, and our other friend from NYC, Elle, lives out here as well(Elle and I have been horribly neglectful in seeing each other, but now that we have finally gotten our act together we have a future of many fun nights ahead of us!), and the three of us decided to go out for happy hour. We went through a lot of different options, but ultimately decided on going to Fiesta. I swear that I am cosmically linked to this bar, because I always wind up there. Yes, they have happy hour seven days a week twice night-two for one drinks that are very very strong, but it seems as if even when I am trying to go some place else the pull of Fiesta is intoxicating to all that are around me. For a brief moment it looked as if we were going to go to the Abbye, but that quickly fell apart and it was off to Fiesta, which of course meant that I didn't have to make myself look cute. I mean my hair was not done, and I was in the green American Apparell jacket that I wear all the time and my new balance sneakers. Hell I hadn't even shaved, and while I was by no means a disaster I would have pulled myself together a little bit more if we had gone to the Abbye. I have learned through many visits to Fiesta that there is no reason for me to do myself up for the trashy little bar that is Fiesta.

The night really did start out innocently enough. Elle, Kristyn, and I were having drinks and talking and having a good time. Kristyn was thinking about going to meet another friend. Kristyn and I got to meet Elle's boyfriend. It was a chill night in which we were catching up and hanging out. Apparently that was only the calm before the storm, because in almost the blink of an eye the entire course of the evening changed. We were on our second or third doubles of the evening, so we were all feeling pretty good, and that is when Elle went to the bathroom, and came back with Michael. Michael is a hairdresser who wanted to do Elle's hair, and then he saw Kristyn and wanted to do her hair as well. It was a flurry of him writing his phone number down, and telling them all the wonderful colors that he could put in their hair, and the next thing that we knew he was sort of with our party. We had gotten a new friend.

A new friend who had ADD. Michael wasn't really able to hold one conversation for longer then thirty seconds before either being distracted by something or someone or completely changing the topic without any warning whatsoever. He also seemed to have a vocabulary that consisted of the words dude or rad. Later on in the evening, I told him that he was very Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, because that was all that I could think of when he would use those words. I have never heard anyone say dude as much as this guy did. It was like he was being paid by the dude commission to re-introduce the term among the twenty-somethings of america. Memo to the Dude Commission: it is never coming back so recall your recruits.

To me Michael is the LA equivalent of a NY hipster, except NY hipsters do more then talk the talk. They also walk the walk. The LA hipsters, much like everyone else in LA, only talk the talk. The other thing people in LA love to do, and Michael was very much a member of this party: say that they have no friends yet run into eight people as you walk down the street and have their phone ring so much that it is burning and vibrate with text messages with such frequency that it could take flight. You have no friends, Michael, really? Then why do you know every person who has come in the bar, and why do you check your phone every ten seconds. When I am in NY, I run into people all the time, and my phone does tend to ring off the hook, but I don't pretend not to have any friends.

But that is a little tangent, back to the evening. Other then his ADD, Michael seemed like a cool kid so we were fine with him hanging out with us, but here is where the evening took a turn for the weird. I went to the bathroom, and as I was standing there Michael came out of the bathroom and started to tell me that his American Express Gift Card was not working, but the back of the card didn't have a phone number. Since I buy into the American Express slogan of never leaving home without it, was able to whip my Amex card out and give him the phone number on the back of it. Well he didn't want to actually do the talking, he wanted me to do it. Why does he want someone that he has known for twenty-five minutes to call American Express and deal with his faulty card? The better question is why did the fool who is sitting here telling you this story actually agree to do it. I'll tell you why....I was drunk and he was a cute boy, and when you mix cute boys....let me change that....this boy was hot....and when you mix a drunk Brian with a hot boy that is a recipe for disaster. As a matter of fact it is a recipe that they need to take out of the cookbook because nothing tasty ever comes out of it.

Of course I was soon faced with the obstacle of knowing nothing about this person, and had to hand over the phone to him. Shocking I knew nothing about someone that I had known for twenty-five minutes. He resolved his issue, and we rejoined Elle and Kristyn. Elle, being the party girl that she is, had called a friend and gotten the names of a few places that we could go, one of which Elijiah Wood apparently djed at on Monday night's. With Michael in tow, we headed out of Fiesta and towards this bar which was I have no idea where. Everyon decided that it would be a good idea if we took a cab, and I have to say that they were right because we were all trashed, but my question was where were we going to find a cab in LA and a cab that was going to fit five people to boot. Elle suggested that we find a van cab. To me this sounded ridiculous. I didn't even think that we were going to be able to find a cab, let alone a van cab. Unfortunately, this is LA not NYC. Guess what drove past us at that moment? A van cab. That's right. We didn't get it because he didn't stop when we waved him down, but it was there. It was a van cab. I was shocked. Then I was shocked again when we actually found a cab, and he let us seat four people in the back and one in the front. Apparently the cab drivers in LA are less of a stickler for the rules then the cab drivers in NYC, because for the most part that will not fly in New York. They will drive away with the door open before they let five people in the car.

What felt like five years later we arrived at the bar, that we could not get into. Yes, that is right my friends we were rejected entrance from this shitty little bar on a Monday night that had no one it. I think there might have been four very unhappy looking people milling about in there. Why could we not get in it you may be asking yourself? There was a list. This shit hole bar had a list. Apparently that waste of space bar had a list every Monday night. It was some kind of private party for a promoter. It was some kind of lame party is what it was.

Not one to be deterred, Elle led us onward till we reached a bar which name I don't remember. We went in to use the restroom, and Elle's boyfriend Robert got a beer, which was promptly placed in Elle's purse when Elle and Kristyn got out of the bathroom. But that beer was not enough because we were on our way to the Roosevelt Hotel, and in the meantime we needed to have some liquid refreshment from a liquor store. Elle took herself into the liquor store, bought a bottle of vodka and some mountain dew, dumped half of the mountain dew on the street, and proceeded to make a very very strong combination of mountain dew and vodka which was passed around to all. Yes, that is correct, we were all sharing a badly mixed moutain dew and vodka combination next to the Carl's Jr. on Sunset Boulevard with an LA hipster named Michael that we had known for all of an hour. Good times.

It's A Little Thing that I like to Call Getting a Grip, Part 2

2006-01-25T15:35:00.000-05:00

I would like to preface the next part of this story by saying I realize that these things that I sometimes do are not appropriate actions to take, and I realize that sometimes I get a little carried away....but I think that we all do. And mind you it is not like these sort of things happen everyday...maybe more then me to others, but not everybody.

A couple of weeks after my encounter with Kyle, I went to see a show downtown with Greg and then went out for some drinks with Greg and one of his friends from the Graduate Musical Theater Writing Program. To be perfectly honest with all of you, I am not quite sure of the name of the person. At this point, I still had Kyle's watch and the promises of several dates, all of which had been broke. I'm convinced the only reason that I had even gotten him to answer the phone was because he did want his watch back at some point. I had moved into pissed off with the situation, and I thought I was just going to ignore it for the evening. Yeah, right. We went to a bar on second avenue, and at that point I was in a Vodka and Red Bull stage. I think that I had five or six Vodka and Red Bulls. When I say that I was drunk that evening it goes beyond that.....that evenings ranks as one of my drunkest evenings...I'm talking top three. I certainly wasn't as drunk this evening as I was the night of Norah and Mike's wedding, but I was pretty close.

I thought that it would be a great idea to have Greg call Kyle(you see this nonsense of having someone else call a boy's phone did not start with Rob...I need help, or I don't know...to get a grip perhaps.), and pretend that he was someone other then Greg. Apparently, Kyle has a lot of random people calling him because when Greg said that he was Ethan or some such name, Kyle just pretended to know him, and told Greg where he was hanging out. Bad idea....bad idea...oh let me say it again....bad idea. Kyle happened to be in the east village as well so I decided that we were going to go to that bar, bump into Kyle, and pretend it was an accident. Uhm....who the hell is going to believe that? If I had been with someone who was trying to do this, I would have done anything in my power to stop the situation, but when I come up with these inane ideas I go right through with them as if they are the best notions in the world. I tink that Greg might have tried to c onvince me that it wasnt't the best idea in the world, but I was so hopped up on caffeine or whatever it is that is in Red Bull, and at the same time drunk from the Vodka that I was listening to no one. I was practically running down the street. I was in fact a crazy person.

Are there any guesses as to what happened when I got to the bar and was confronted with Kyle? Did he run into my open arms? Yes he did. He saw me...came over and we kissed. It was absolutely the last thing I expected to happen, but I wouldn't accept his kiss....mostly because that is not what happened at all! :) He actually blew me off, which apparently upset me to the point of hysterical crying. I then proceeded to walk down the street refusing to allow Greg or his friend to come near me because I was the most embarassed that I had been in my whole life. I wasn't getting any more sober, but I was beginning to see the situation for what it was.

I then left voicemails for people in my hysterical state. Never a good thing. I didn't enjoy talking to those people the next day when the alcohol had left my system, and I realized that it wasn't the end of the damn world.

Greg, being the wonderful friend that he is, didn't really care that I went crazy for a night. But I did hear from Kyle a few days later...and he wanted to get together. Translation: He wanted to finally get his watch back. I was going to be at my weekly chipotle lunch with Greg, Sara, and Selda so I decided to have him just meet me down by St. Mark's Place, but by the time we finished lunch he wasn't answering his damn phone. If he stood me up one more time, his watch was going to get smashed into pieces, and he was going to recieve a voicemail detaling every motion that I had made. I decided to give him a few minutes, and went to meet Vashti at Rubin who once again re-iterated her belief that I should just smash the watch. Then Kyle called wanting to know why I had gone up to 10th and 5th. Well because you weren't answering your phone for twenty minutes you moron. I'm not going to sit around and wait for you!

He got huffy with me for standing me up. It's not my fault he was choosing this day to break his pattern and actually show up. I gave him the option of coming to meet me where I was or to meet me another day. Shock of shocks he chose to come and meet right then and there, and Vashti waited with me. When he got there she simply glared at him being the good friend that she is. We walked away, and he made some sort of comment about me not introducing him to my friend, to which I responded that I had felt no need to introduce him......I wanted to add since I won't ever see you again after this asshole, but I refrained myself from creating another situation.

We went to the starbucks on 8th street, and engaged in about twenty or twenty five minutes of meaningless chatter that would have been fine if we were on a real date, but since we both knew he just wanted to get his watch back I was just getting angry that he was making me waste my time with this pre-tense of a date. Personally, I was going to avoid the whole situation of me showing up at the bar, but he of course had to ask if I had had a friend call him that night that we ran into each other at the bar. What is a guy to do when confronted with his stalker like action? Deny it of course. I told him that it was a damn accident that I ran into him and if he thinks that I put that much time into thinking about him he needs to get a reality check. I made sure he knew how insulted I was. He pretended to believe me, I doubt that he did because it was obvious that it was me. That doesn't mean I would ever admit it to him. Short of him reading this blog, which I find highly unlikely, I will deny to him that it was anything other then a coincidence that we ran into each other that night. As a matter of fact even if he were to read this blog I would deny that I had anything to do with running into him.

Being sufficiently uncomfortable, I finally took out his damn watch and gave it to him hoping that that would be the end of our time together, but then he insisted on walking me to where I was going, hug me, and make some pretense about calling me when he got back from South America. Yay right. Did you even go to South America?

Do you now realize why I need to get a grip?

It's A Little Thing that I like to Call Getting a Grip

2006-01-25T15:12:00.000-05:00

There are people who are reading these blogs that come from all different aspects of my life, and thus people have known me for different lengths of time, and there are plenty of stories in my life that many don't know simply because they were not there, and since their is comedic value to be mined out of these stories I thought that I would tell a couple of them to you.

Yes, the title of this entry is referring to myself because there are times when I need to get a God damn grip. I mean seriously. This story that I am about to tell you actually happened over a year ago. About two weeks after my 25th birthday, I was hanging out with my friend Ranise. It was a sunday night, and she decided that she wanted to go to Starlight. On Sunday night Starlight has a lesbian night, and that is precisely why she wanted to go. Ranise has this fascination with wanting to be a lesbian, and thus has on more then one occassion has gone to a sunday night at starlight with me in tow. But I know that she likes her the men too much to actually be a lesbian. This was the first sunday that we went. Starlight is still a gay bar even if it has a focus on lesbians on sunday nights. There are still gay men there, but on this particular Sunday night I don't think I really felt like going out. I looked as bad as I could possibly look in clothes that were as ugly as ugly could possibly be. I think I had been running around all day because I most definitley had a bag with me. I was in no condition to be going out, but it isn't exactly hard to convince me to go out for a drink, but I agreed since I figured while there would probably be guys at starlight there would be far more girls and the liklihood of me seeing anyone that I thought was cute would be next to nothing.

Have I learned nothing? Whenever these sorts of circumstances and conditions conspire to come together, exactly what you have convinced yourself is not going to happen is going to happen. We hadn't even been in that bar for ten minutes when I saw Kyle. He was about my height....average build...short dark hair. There was nothing particularly special about him, but he must have been giving off pheremones or something because I found myself wildly attracted to him. I can never really tell if a guy is interested in me. I thought that he was looking at me, but I wasn't exactly sure. I kept trying to make eye contact while avoiding making eye contact. How does one do that? I have no idea. I'm sick in the head.

I was standing in the corner, and I was getting more and more convinced that this guy was definitley checking me out, and I gave him enough looks so that he knew that I too was looking at him, but he wasn't coming over to me. I hate making the first move. There is nothing that I hate more then having to go over to a guy and start a conversation. All of that meeting and beginning stuff is probably my least favorite part of the dating game, and of course it is about as far as I have gotten lately. In this particular case, I wasn't quite ready to make the move so I though that I would enlist Ranise in the matter, and have her see if she thought that he was looking at me. Unable to be subtle, she made a spectacle of the situation and then decided that he was probably looking at the guy behind me. That's what friends are for(she was wrong incidentally).....I think I said something like damn you, and then went and sat on the other side of the bar with my back to Kyle so that Ranise could see if hsi eyes stayed where they had been or moved with me. Well he moved. He came over and stood by us for a few minutes, and then walked away. Damn him again for not making the move.

I then drag Ranise to the back of the bar so that we can stand against the wall that was opposite the bar where he was standing. Ranise decided to tell me that if I didn't go and talk to him I would probably get hit by a bus and die. I mean I think that girl should be a motivational speaker. I continued to look at Kyle, but bicker with her over the nonsensical comment that she had made, and then in a wave of confidence just walked towards Kyle and introduced myself. We talked for a while, and yes I of course found him to be even cuter when I started to talk to him. Another one of his friend's arrived, and he said that he watned to talk to her, but for me to not leave. So I went back to Ranise, and we discussed what had just transpired when Kyle came over to talk to us. It seemed like he was into me, but I didn't think that he was going to actually comeback. But he did, and started to talk to me and Ranise. And then he was just talking to Ranise who was monopolizing the conversation. I gritted my teeth and politely laughed at things that were said, but all the while I was stepping on her foot harder and harder because although she was getting the message she refused to wrap up the conversation. Finally she kicked me and I had to stop. Kyle apparently was oblivious to the whole thing, although how he could have been I am not sure. I should have taken that as a sign that he was into no one but himself.

Finally, Ranise left. And then Kyle and I left shortly after that. We made out on the street a bit, and then got in a cab and went back to my apartment. I realize that I have a bit of a pattern, that is not the point. Then he made some off color remark about having left his travel book in his friend's car. Like most people, after hearing a vague comment about travel I asked where it was that he was going. Apparently he was going to go to South America for six months, and then come back to the city for medical school. I am not one hundred percent certain, and at the time I did not consider this for no other reason then I am a fool, but I'm pretty sure that he was making that up. I think he just wanted to make sure that he couldn't really get into anything serious with me. He just wanted me to put out by making me think that he liked me. The oldest trick in the book! We then passed a brownstone in the cab, and he told me that when he was a rich doctor he wanted to buy it for us and take care of me. What? Laying it on a little thick, buddy. You see, though, this was before the whole getting a grip thing...and I had a few drinks in me......and I liked the thought of having a boyfriend...so I fell for that line. Yes, I admit it. I am laying it all out there.

There was something about this guy that I found to be intoxicating so I slept with him, and no I am not talking about slumber. The next morning he rushed out of the apartment, and I do not think that he was going to volunteer his phone number, but when I suggested that we exchange phone numbers he was like oh of course, but then said he thought that we should write them down because he didn't like to put phone numbers in his phone. Now, even I though that this was a little ridiculous. It was in that moment that I started to think that there was something fishy about this guy. But I wrote down the number nonetheless......and when he left I managed to convince myself that it was just a quirky little thing that he had. Weeks later I managed to convince myself that i am a moron for believing that.

I think that that would have been the end of my daliance with Kyle, but he had left his watch at my apartment. Yes....yes I did. I called him a few times, and he blew me off. and blew me off some more. Me, being nice to the point of stupidity, wanted to give him the damn watch back against the advice of many a friend who suggested that I smash it. I don't think I have quite the flair for the dramatic that it takes to actually do that, but considering the turn that this story takes I think that I might......

Adventures in Comedy Clubbing....

2006-01-25T14:59:00.000-05:00

So Krystyn is in town to work on a couple of jobs, and I am ever so glad to have her staying with me. Last night, the two of us went to a comedy show at the Laugh Factory. Her friend Theo is the host of the show, and was able to get us free tickets. YAY! for free tickets. In these days of me being ever so frugal, I am more then happy to go to free events.

Now...the comedians were less then funny. There was one guy that was from New York that was funnier then the rest, but for the most part I think that I would have been funnier...hold on let me correct that last statement...I know that I would have been funnier then most of the people that were on that stage. But I guess I should not point fingers because I am not on that stage....just wait....come this summer I'm going to be tearing up the stages hopefully. People are going to be rolling out of their chairs, tears streaming down their cheeks, grasping their stomach with pain as the fits of laughter overtake them. Where is this going to be happening you may be asking yourself? That is to be determined, but come this summer I will be tearing it up. I have a new sense of motivation and drive, but that is a discussion for another day.

If the comedians were so terrible, then why am I telling you about them? I'm not. I want to tell you what went on at the actual show...other hen show. Apparently it was college night at the Laugh Factory, and apparently this only draws freshmen in college. These were the loudest, most obnoxious, most poorly dressed group of eighteen year olds that I had ever seen in my life.

A lot of them were smoking cloves. Apparently that is an eighteen year old thing. Krystyn confimed that she too smoked cloves when she was eighteen. As did I. Obviously the smoking thing continued, but I stopped with the cloves. What is it about eighteen year olds that makes them want to smoke cloves? I think that it has something to do with trying anything and everything that you can. If it's legal...well if it is illegal too...but especially if it is legal they will try it.

So they were smoking their cloves and screaming, and laughing far more then was neccesary, and of course giggling as they flashed their fake ids to get their screwdrivers. A screwdriver seems like a day drink to me. Not even brunch. Like a 2pm drink as you stand at the window in the library, staring at the young teenagers in love frolicking on the grounds. Of course you have drawn the curtains, and you let them fall covering the window as you grasp your screwdriver and vow to keep them apart because that young ruffian is not acceptable for your high society daughter. Yes...I see a waspy type person drinking a screwdriver. Do you like where the image of screwdrivers took me? Where it does not take me is to underage obnoxious USC students sitting behind me laughing uncontroablly at things that are not funny. Drink a beer....a vodka cranberry. But a screwdriver? The waitress was carrying like twelve of them.

I know that I was, hell I still am, a little kooky at the age of eighteen but I refuse to believe that I was as obnoxious as these kids, mostly because I have always known how to hande myself in public, and these children seemed to be out in public for the first time. But it would be unfair to say that it is only the young that do not know how to conduct themselves when out and drinking, because clearly forty-five year old fat men don't know how to do it either.

Yes, there were two extremely overweight forty-five year old fat men sitting next to Krystyn and I...sort of. Luckily there was a few steps that were separating us from them so we didn't so much have to really deal with them so much as watch them. I don't know if they thought that they were being funny or if they were just that stupid, but they kept breaking glasses...in their hands. Actually...I saw them knock two on the floor, and then I saw two actually break in this man's hands. Has he never picked up something that is made of glass? I'm not sure if he has. They were also leering and cat calling every woman that was walking past them. I guess since I am a homosexual that is a foreign concept to me, but I can't imagine why they would think anyone would respond to the vulgar things that they were saying. It is baffling to me.

And that was our night at the Laugh Factory|!

My First Crush......

2006-01-25T14:50:00.000-05:00

Have I ever discussed the first boy that I lusted after? I don't think at the time I realized that I was lusting after him....I just thought that I really liked him at the time. The thought of sex didn't really cross my mind....kissing yes...but sex no. Who is this mysterious individual you may ask? Zack Morris otherwise known as Mark Paul Gosselear who only gets hotter the older that he gets and while he may be married with two kids that doesn't mean I don't hold a small torch that he will someday realize the love that he holds for me, and while remaining a devoted father, will come and make all my dreams come true.

I jest....sort of. I hope that Mark Paul and his wife and their son and the daughter that they are expecting are very happy for the rest of their lives. You know back in my pre-adolesence before I really realized what sex was and what these feelings I was having for Zack Morris were, I thought that I had a crush on Tiffany Amber-Thiessen. Yes...that is correct....none other then Kelly Kapowski. You see at the time I would look at Zack and Kelly and want what they had, and while a part of me knew very well that it was Zack that I wanted I did manage to delude myself into thinking that it was Kelly that I wanted. I didn't want Kelly...I wanted to be Kelly. Not in the I wanted to be a woman sort of way, but in the I wanted to be making out with Zack Morris sort of way. Yes...and let me say that while I did enjoy his bleach blonde hair during his tenure on Saved By The Bell...I am an even bigger fan of his darker NYPD Blue/Commander in Chief hair. Ever Carradine is so lucky getting to play his love interest on Commander in Chief.

But why is it that I am talking about Mark Paul Gosselear all of a sudden? I didn't think that there was much that could surprise me, but over the past few days there has been entertainment news galore that has sent shockwaves through my television viewing habits(that is a post for another place.....be on the lookout for a spinoff of my blog). I digress. What I would like to impart to you is the fact that Mark Paul Gosselear was nominated for best male performer in a television series(NYPD Blue) in the 2006 Asian Excellence Awards.

Mark Paul Gosselear is not Asian you may be saying to yourself at this very moment. Well go right back to yourself and tell yourself that you are wrong because in fact Mark Paul Gosselear is half Indonesian. Am I the only one that has been blindsided by this revelation? I had no idea that Mark Paul Gosselear was half indoensian. I would never have guessed it.

I just got another little insight into my husband to be....

The Night That We Could Get Nothing That We Wanted

2006-01-20T17:35:00.000-05:00

My last night in New York City was going to be spent going to dinner with Adam, Zack, Sara, and Selda and then going to see Match Point. We went to the Thai restaurant...and they brought our food out in no particular order. There were appetizers that were ordered that came out after the main course, and there were meals, Adam's, that didn't even come.

The time for the movie was quickly rolling near and Adam was still waiting for his food. Sara, Zack, and I went to get the tickets at the Times Square AMC down the street, but the showing that we were going to was sold out. Great. We called Adam and Selda and told them to meet us downtown at the Loews on 3rd and 11th because there was a showing of Match Point there in an hour. Well.....the show we wanted to go and see, and the show after that were sold out leaving only the midnight showing which didn't seem like a good idea. So we left a message for Adam and Selda, who were on the train thinking that we had tickets to Match Point in our hands, and headed across the street to Rocket Wraps so that Sara could get this vegetable juice that was a mixture of carrots, cucumbers, and beets. I think that it is vile, but it is a healthy drink and so God love Sara for being able to get it down.

Sara orders the drink, after we had laughed about the course of the evening thus far and how funny it would be if they were missing one of the ingredients, and lo and behold right as they are about to start blending it together they remember that they are out of cucumbers. Once again we are foiled! Ok...that is fine. Our quest can continue. Sara also wanted to get a fig newton. I am not lying to you when I said that we went to six delis to find these fig newtons, and no one had them. One guy told us that he would be getting them in later in the week so we could come back then if we wanted. Thanks. Is a Fig Newton really something that you want to wait a few days to get? I don't think so.

Finally, after we had left the last deli, but stood outside of it because Adam and Selda were crossing the street to get to us, one of the people who worked in the deli came rushing outside looking for Sara to show her where the fig newtons were! Oh happy day! Our fortune is changing!

We then went to the Care Orlin or the Yaffa Cafe...I can't remember which....where I had the most amazing oreo cheescake. It was decadence to the extreme.... and they let us sit there for like two and a half hours even though there were people waiting for tables, and we had stopped ordering. We weren't even drinking!

We left there, and Sara asked us if we wanted to go and meet Perry and her boyfriend at Fiddlesticks for a drink. We were all sort of tired, but went anyway. After a few minutes there, Adam and Zack decided that they were going to go home since they weren't drinking anything, and Selda was ready to leave as well. I was perfectly content to head back with them, but I can always be convinced to stay out for a drink, and so I agreed to stay for one drink with Sara as long as they took credit card since I had nothing on me.

Well I get in there, and Perry's boyfriend buys the drinks for me and Sara. He then proceeds to buy us all a bottle of champagne....then he bought us all shots of Petron(I don't usually do tequila, but that was some high quality stuff that went down very smoothly!), and then he decided to buy another bottle of champagne. Before that got started, Sara and I decided to go out for a cigarette. We came back in, and Perry was tired and ready to go home so they were getting ready to head out, but he felt badly so he bought Sara and I another drink each instead of the bottle of champagne, and Sara and I finished the first bottle of champagne! We were very pleasantly tipsy, and we hadn't spent any money at all. Perry's boyfriend seemed like a really nice guy, and he bought Sara and I all those drinks which he did not have to do!

The night that would give us nothing that we wanted turned into a really fun evening. Maybe the night decided that it knew what we really wanted, so instead of givinig us what we thought we wanted it gave us what we really wanted!

Quick TidBits...

2006-01-20T17:27:00.000-05:00

These are just a couple of things that I thought were funny, but didn't neccesarily need their own post.

When I was riding the subway back into the city from Queens after my evening with Rob, I was sitting there on the never ending train ride, even on the express it was long, and I started to look at the ads on the train. Most of them were about joining the police force. I'm at a bit of a crossroads in my life, and I'm trying to figure out what to do with myself, and for a moment I actually thought about it. For a split second I told myself that I could become a cop. Uhm...sure I could become a cop, but would that be a good thing for me, the New York City Police Department, or New York City as a whole...no. I'm a nervous person, and the last thing that I need to be doing is looking for criminals as I carry a loaded weapon. Guaranteed I would shoot myself in the foot after no more then a month on the force. Yeah....that thought faded fast.

I can't remember who I was introducing myself to, but I was told their name, I stuck out my hand to shake theirs, and I almost introduced myself as Jamie. What? My name is Brian. I'm not exactly sure of all names I would say my name is Jamie, or why I was even saying the wrong name in the first place. It's a mystery. Perhaps one that will never be solved.

New Year's Eve

2006-01-20T16:56:00.000-05:00

I realize that there are many people who are not fans of New Year's Eve, because a lot of time it can be all build up and no pay off. I think that New Year's Eve probably offers the most pay off to people who never go out. People build it up because that is one of the only nights they have to go out and party. However, and I've discussed this with friends-this isn't actually my theory-I believe it was Sara that pointed all of this out, me and most of the friends that I have are people that like to go out all year round so we don't need New Year's Eve to cut loose and be crazy.

That being said, that doesn't mean that I don't like to have fun on New Year's Eve. You have just got to avoid the hype, unless the hype is your thing then more power to you.

This year we had a little soiree at Greg's apartment. There were a lot of different people in and out of the place, and it was a good time. There were drinks, and food, and good friends, and Degrassi. Yes, that is right you read that correctly. There was Degrassi. As much as I loathe the notion, I suppose that there are people in the world who have no idea what Degrassi is. It is a teen soap that is produced for Candian television, but the N, which is a channel that I believe is a division of Nickelodeon, has been airing the show in the United States for the past few years. This is a show that does not shy away from presenting crazy things....the slogan is that it goes there, and oh does it ever.

Here are just a few of the highlights:

In the first episode, Emma, she would probably be considered our main heroine, went to the hotel room of an internet predator(of course not realizing that he wasn't a boy her own age), and was nearly raped; seasons later after Emma got gonnoria from oral sex with Jay in the back of his van

Manny was sleeping with Craig while he was with Ashley, and she got pregnant and had an abortion but eventually won Craig over for herself, and then in subsuquent seasons decided that she wanted to be an actress and took off her top for the camera of the son of the principal of their school;

Rick, a boy who had been relentlessly picked on, mostly because he had been dating Terry, hitting her, and eventually put her in a coma(many people seem to think that Terry is still in the coma, but she did in fact wake up) brought a gun to school after he had been tarred and featherd by a prank orchestrated by Spinner, Jay, and Alex. The catch....Rick thought that it was Jimmy who had set it up. It didn't help that Emma had rejected his romantic advances mistaking her pity for love.....Rick shot Jimmy in the back leaving him paralyzed, nearly shot Emma who was rescued by Sean, making him a reluctant hero, and killed himself. The fall out continued when Spinner's involvement was discovered and all of his friends turned on him.

So yeah..Degrassi goes there, and it never stops because those are only a few of the highlights....I could go on and on and on about the stuff that goes on on that show, but the point of this whole tirade about Degrassi was the fact that the N was showing it the entire New Year's weekend. A marathon! Oh my! So the party simply had to become a Degrassi marathon...because quite frankly I don't know anyone that can resist Degrassi!

The evening was, for the most part(and I will get to the for the most part portion of the evening in a little bit), uneventful, but in a good way. It was fun and we were hanging out, but it wasn't any kind of craziness. However, there was a bit of craziness after midnight. I had been talking about doughnuts the whole time that I had been in New York City. I am not sure why I had a hankering for doughnuts, but I did. So Adam, Zack, Sara, and I went downstairs to the Dunkin Doughnuts that is right below Greg's apartment and got a doughnut. Sara and I decided to have a cigarette, but we didn't have any so we went next door to the King's Head Tavern, and asked to bum a couple from some of the people, and one guy happily gave us two cigarettes, and also asked if I wanted herpes. Yes, I was offered herpes on New Year's Eve(I bet right at this moment you are thinking that that is the crazines...well my friends, let me tell you, it is it not.) I happily accepted the cigarettes, but I politely declined the herpes. Why would you ask someone that? It's almost a rhetorical question, because really do you need someone to answer that. Is there any answer but no to that question? Perhaps a more colorful way of saying no, but the message is the same. And if you are saying yes to that question, you need to sit down and have a long talk with yourself about perhaps changing your outlook on life.

The four of us went back upstairs, and put our coats in Greg's bedroom. Pat and Selda were sitting on the futon, which was in couch mode, apparently watching Degrassi, but thinking back on it I do think that I thought to myself that there was something weird going on in that room. But I was tipsy, and shrugged it off to go into the kitchen to chat with my friends. A few minutes later, Adam comes out of the bedroom looking a little shocked, and then a few seconds after that Selda comes bounding out of the room, laughing.

Bahrat, who is Greg's roommate, had a friend who was very drunk, sitting on Greg's window sill smoking a cigarette, and practically falling out of the window. Of course this is a situation that must be handled so Greg went to get Bahrat who went to get the friend, who is female...that is important to remember, of the girl who was sitting on the window sill. Apparently window sill girl had just broken up with her boyfriend, and was very upset by it. Female friend of girl in the window sill came into the room to make sure that her friend was okay, leaned down to ask her if she was okay, and then the two of them proceeded to make out. Yes...she asked if her friend was okay, and then stuck her tongue down her throat to make sure that she was okay. WHAT? I am very sad that I left the room, and missed that because it is one of the most random things that I have ever heard in my entire life, and if nothing else I like random things.

Continued Adventures In Dating... Part 2

2006-01-20T16:35:00.000-05:00

Thursday night came, and I went to meet Rob at, Excess, which is the bar that we had met at. I was standing outside of the bar, and I saw what I thought was Rob cross the street and stand next to the door, but on the other side of me. I would occasionally look over in his direction, wondering if that was him. I was almost certain that it was him, but for whatever reason I did not want to be the person to make the initial contact. Of course he then went inside, and realizing that it was him, I then had to go inside and make the first move, and laugh about the fact that we were standing right next to each other without realizing it, when in fact I most certainly did realize it. Maybe he was thinking the exact same thing? He didn't let on that he was, but if that were the case then we really would be a match made in heaven.

We sat down at the bar, got drinks, and started to chat and I soon realized that I was talking to someone who was well versed in television. I mean he had a working knowledge of General Hospital, and owned all seven seasons of Buffy on DVD. If that is not someone that I want to get to know further, then I don't know who is. Needless to say, I'm sure I made myself sound insane when we were talking about these particular subjects, because I do realize that I have tendency to talk about characters on television shows that I really love, particularly General Hospital, as if they are real people. I know that they aren't, and I'm not trying to make it sound like I am talking about my neighbor, but I have very strong opinions about my shows, and that comes out.

More drinks were had, we continued to talk and I realized that from what I was learning it seemed that we had that oh so rare mix of enough things in common so we our interests weren't completely foreign to one another, but at the same time had enough differences so it wasn't like dating your clone. The more that we had to drink, the cuter that I thought he was. Don't get me wrong, I thought that he was completely adorable stone cold sober. This is definitley someone I would have been interested in even if I hadn't met him when I was drunk, but now that I was veering off into drunk land his cuteness factor was just upping by the minute.

We decided to go to G, I'm pretty sure at my suggestion, and who did I see when I was walking back to Rob from the bathroom at G. Ruddy! That's right it was Ruddy who was on date! Once again, this would have been an exciting turn of events if I had been stone cold sober, but the fact that I had had like three vodka tonics only made the coincidence all the more exciting since I hadn't seen Ruddy in all that long. The rest of our time in G, not the rest of our evening mind you but the rest of our time in G, is a little bit hazy, but I do know, and I have no idea who made the first move, that Rob and I started making out at one point. At more then one point as a matter of fact, and apparently, although I'm not sure this is entirely true, I spilled his drink on him when I went in for a kiss at one point. I have no idea how that would have happened, but I of course offered to buy him another drink. I went to the ATM to get more cash, only to discover the next day that the numbers on my reciept didn't match the numbers on my card but the reciept had my name on it and the right amount was debited from my account. I'm pretty sure that it is a mystery that is never going to be solved because the bank had no answers for me, and short of them I have no idea who would handle that situation.

I gave Rob his drink, and he asked me if I want to come to his apartment, in Queens, and spend the night making it very clear that this wasn't an invitation for sex, but he did want me to come over. Goodness knows I love nothing more then invitations for ambigous sleepovers when I am drunk so I immediately said yes, and we left right there on the spot. Of course I said goodbye to Ruddy first. And I think Rob finished his drink, but it felt like it had been right away.

Let me tell you something...the train ride felt like it took nine years. I thought that I had aged by the time that we got back to his apartment in the depths of Queens. It was a cute neighborhood, and a very nice apartment, but it was still very very far away. We made out a little bit that night, but nothing happened. Which was fine for me. I took him at his word that he was just inviting me over to sleep. The next morning was a little bit awkward, but not in a bad way, and there was more making out. It was a really good date. One of the better ones that I have had in as long as I could remember, but when I left him to head back into the city i wasn't sure how we should end things since I wasn't going to be back back in the city until June. He said he had a really good time as well, but I always doubt it when boys tell me that after the fact. That is my own hangup, I am sure that he meant it. We decided to stay in touch.

We parted ways, and I headed back into the city. It wasn't until I was back in the city that I remembered that he had told me that he didn't really have any plans for New Year's Eve, and here we were having a soiree at Greg's apartment. Normally, I wouldn't call someone the day afte the first date, but I wanted to invite him to the party and I thought it was better to give him more rather then less notice. I left him a message, and then never heard from him again. By the time New Year's Eve had rolled around I was a little annoyed because even if he didn't want to come he could have returned my call or sent me a text message or something. We live in an era that enables us when we want to passive aggresively respond to someone. It is not very hard to reject someone without ever actually having to see or talk to them! Even though I didn't get a response to my invitation, I still texted him Happy New Year. I was tipsy, and I wanted to see if he would respond.

He did. At like four in the afternoon on New Year's Day. A bit anticlimactic...I wasn't really sure what to think about what was going through his head. Maybe, like every other guy that I have dated, he only said he had a good time deluding me into thinking that he actually did. But, then, later that night he sent me a text to have a safe flight...that was encouraging...althiugh I wasn't sure what to read into it. God forbid I take something for what it is rather then ascribing some grand meaning to it. I texted him back thanks and keep in touch and that horse and pony show, and then about a week later I got a text from him asking if I was in LA safe and sound.

Hmmmm.....not sure what to make of that one. I, of course, responded with yes and another mention of talking soon or something like that. It has been a couple of weeks and there hasn't been any contact between us. When I get back to New York, I'll probably call him and see what is what. Maybe we can hang out some more and see what happens. Maybe we will talk between now and then, although I have yet to make any phone calls and neither has he...perhaps because there is only so much time you can spend on the telephone. And maybe nothing at all will come of this, but it is fun to imagine that something will, and if there is anyone who likes to make things bigger then they are it is me. I'm thinking that that is a habit that I am going to need to break.

Continued Adventures In Dating...

2006-01-20T16:09:00.001-05:00

So many of the posts that I am about to make are things that happened quite some time ago, but since I have been seriously slacking with the blog, it is all about catch up right now. So here it goes.

I spent Christmas and New Year's back in New York, and that was the best way to spend the holidays. I think that these holidays were some of my favorites because I was among the people that I love in the place that I love, and I was able to have a very real appreciation for all of these things because I have been separated from all of it since the summer basically. There were other trips to NYC since July of course, but this one was the longest, and made me realize the true extent to which I missed living in New York City, but that is not what this post is supposed to be about. There I go again with the tangents.

When I was in NYC for Thanksgiving, I met a guy named Rob at Excess. I wrote about this so all of you faithful readers are well versed in the tale. For those of you who are joining us a little bit later in the game, well you can go back and read the post about The End of My Trip To NYC....it's all about continuity people. Remember...I love me some soap operas so backstory is very important, and in real life backstory is even more important because in life it is very rare that one thing doesn't come as a direct result of the event that preceded it.

As I was saying, Rob and I met and he was cute and nice, but I was drunk and got his phone number knowing that it was probably for naught because when was I ever going to see him again. Well I was going to be back for the holidays in three weeks so I figured that that would be a good time to call him. Truth be told, I did want to call him, but I wasn't actually sure if I was going to do it. I had the first week of my trip back East at home in Wappingers Falls, and as much as I enjoyed being home for five days I had had enough by the time Christmas rolled around so after having Christmas dinner and doing all that holiday stuff, I decided to head into the city and see my dear friends Sara and Selda, who were ever so gracious to let me stay with them for seven nights which is a lot of time to ask someone to put you up for so I appreciate it ever so much.

My second night in the city, Monday night, Sara and I split a bottle of wine at dinner, and then headed back to the apartment where we drank more wine. I'm not exactly a light weight, but after a few glasses of wine I start to get tipsy, and that is when I got the idea to call Rob in my head. So at 11pm I called him, and left a message. Then I forgot about it. It wasn't that I didn't care, because God knows I usually obsess about these things, but I was in New York City having a good time with my friends so it wasn't something that was worth freaking out about. If he decided to call me then great, maybe we would get together. But if he didn't call me it wasn't like it was going to ruin my trip. My trip was going to be amazing, and having a date would have just been icing on the cake, but not having one would not have detracted from anything.

Tuesday goes by, and I don't hear from Rob, but I also didn't think about it very much. Normally, I would wonder and wonder and wonder why he wasn't calling me back, but thankfully I was able to forgo my normal insanity and just exist and be happy. Sara, Selda, and I went to have Thai food for dinner that night, and while we were sitting down at dinner is when he called me back. I am not one to answer my cell phone when I am at dinner with people. That is what voicemail is for. Of course there are circumstances where one must answer their phone because an important phone call is expected or a litany of other reasons, but frankly when a boy calls me back as much as I want him to call me back I get nervous and don't want them to call me back all at the same time. Following me? So of course I had to wait and see what it is that he was going to say in the voicemail before I could actually speak to him. I'm a little bit of a loop, though, because once the call has been missed and the voicemail has been left I usually chide myself for not answering the phone. If I had answered the phone I could have let go of a lot of my nervousness, but that part of my thinking doesn't come into play until after the call has been missed. It would be nice if my brain could hit the fast forward button and just force me to answer the phone when it is ringing instead of created these protracted phone tag duels.

Do I listen to the message after it is left for me? No. In this particular instance, and I am not sure why I chose this time to do this, I decided to take my insanity one step further and have Selda listen to the message before I did. Seriously, what is the matter with me? Was I dropped on my head as a child? Because I certainly behave as if I was. Regardless, the message was very cute, and he seemed happy to hear from me. He had thought that I had forgotten all about him, and if I hadn't heard from someone for three weeks I would have thought the same thing. I called him back, and left him a voicemail. Then I didn't hear anything. Now that we had started actually playing a game of phone tag, my craziness had kicked into a bit of overdrive and I was now wondering why he was not calling me back.

That evening Selda, Greg, Pat, and I went to Ryan's Pub, and apparently Greg wanted to get all of us very very drunk because he kept buying us shots of soco and lime. Granted that isn't exactly the toughest shot that you can take, and granted they weren't very big shots. But they were shots nonetheless, and we had each had two drinks besides the shots so it wasn't as if we were sober. Now when I start to drink, I get grand ideas in my head....but now that I think about they are plans.....they are these ridiculous plans that only a drunk person would think was a good idea, and that fact is only reinforced by the fact that I always want to stick my head in a wall the morning after(look for a later post to reveal the true depths of my stupidity....I may even call it that).

We had had dinner a few hours ago, but it wasn't that late yet, and since I was drunk I was really wondering why it is that Rob had not called me back yet. Normally, when I get drunk I like to have Selda call my cousin, who I rarely if ever talk to, and talk to him. It amuses me for whatever reason, but this time I decided I was going to give Selda Rob's number so she could call him, and do I have no idea what. So she did. He didn't answer. Probably because it was late. We laughed about it a little, and then forgot about it. We continued to have a fun evening, and then went home. The next day Selda and I got up and were getting ready to head somewhere...I can't really remember where at this moment....but of course I was talking about the fact that Rob hadn't called me back yet. Selda got a phone call. She was chatting away on the phone when she gets a beep. She turns her phone over to look at the number of the second call and does not recognize it. It immediatley hits me that we had used her phone to call Rob the night before in one of my moronic drunken plans. I think I might have leapt across the room to make sure that she didn't answer it, because it was in fact Rob calling probably wondering who the random missed call was from. Of course we ignore the call. You would think at this point I could not take my foolishness any further....oh but I can. I then started to wonder, and no I did not wonder this in my head but rather out loud to Selda, why it is that Rob had called her back and not me. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I went there. Are you kidding me? If I was watching myself as a character on television, I would probably be doing a lot of cringing.

About thirty seconds after I was bitching and moaning about all of this, my phone rang and it was Rob. YAY! We set up a date for Thursday night.

The End of My Trip to NYC

2005-12-05T19:11:00.000-05:00

The night before I left to come to LA in July was perhaps one of the most fun evenings that I had spent in NYC. It was bittersweet because even though I was having a wonderful last night out in NYC with my friends, it was becoming very real to me that after that evening I was going to be on a different coast then them. It was hard to completely give into the fun, because I was being gripped by the fear of picking up and starting over in a place that was completely foreign to me. Yeah, I could see how that would make me scared. But the night turned out to be the perfect night, because we stayed out way later then I had planned seeing as how I had a plane to catch. That night was truly an adventure, and apparently I'm making adventures on my last night in NYC a tradition.

I was going to sadly be departing NYC on the Sunday of Thanksgiving weekend, so that meant that Saturday night we were going to hit the town and do it up right. Greg's boyfriend, Steve, was competing in a improv comedy competition at the Upright Citizen's Brigade so that was first stop of the evening. There was a lot of funny people there, but there were also a lot of people who were not very funny at all, and I have to admit that one of the times I was laughing the hardest was when Orlando's raucous laughter was spreading to the rest of us like wildfire. I don't even remember what he found so funny, but I do remember that he seemed to be the only one laughing which made the rest of us laugh. Unfortunately, Steve's team, who had been randomly picked from the audience and made it quite far in the competition, did not get to move onto the next round. Sad.

After that, Orlando, Kevin, and Monica wanted to get food so where did they decide was the best place to go? BBQ. Personally, I was not hungry and a bit of melancholy was falling over me because I was beginning to realize that the trip that had been so much fun was coming to an end. What is the best way to rectify this situation? Have a margarita. Originally I was just going to have a regular margarita. But somehow I managed to convince myself, I think that Sara and I convinced ourselves together :), that getting the Texas size was a good idea. Oh, and let's not forget the extra shot of tequila that they put in a little shot vile for you in the drink. When our drinks came everyone thought that it would be a good idea for us to do our shots of nasty cheap tequila. I poured mine in my drink. Tequila shots are VILE! I don't know when I became unable to do them, but there was a turning point...I think it might have been the night at Kettle of Fish that the tequila came out of my nose. That is a particularly unpleasant memory with tequila. Regardless, my senior year days of crazy amounts of tequila shots have long been over, and so instead it was poured into the drink and mixed around.

Those drinks are big enough as it is without adding an extra shot, but as I was drinking it I was thinking to myself that the drink wasn't getting my very drunk at all. Yeah right. I don't know who I was kidding because by the time I had finished the drink(Yes, I finished that entire monster of a drink) I was feeling that warm tipsy buzzed feeling. Sadly, Yas and Selda were departing the group and that meant that I had to say goodbye to them for this trip. It was very sad, but being able to see them was so great. It was exactly what I needed.

Greg, Sara, Orlando, Monica, Kevin, and I continued on to Excess, a gay bar that I had never been to. Jessica was supposed to meet up with us at various points in the evening, and at this point she said that she was on her way. Now when we arrived at Excess I had ten dollars left, and I decided that after having the gigantic margarita that one more drink was all that I was going to need to have a nice buzz for the rest of the evening. I got my last drink, as did Sara, and we all sat down. Let me tell you something, the waiter that was walking around was damn hot. I mean seriously. And you know what else kills me? I get the sense that he was actually a nice person. Damn hot and a nice person! Some people are just lucky I suppose! Although, I think it was probably a little bit cold to have him walking around in nothing but his underwear. But he was, and he looked damn good. I was drunk, so I was not complaining. Not that I would have been complaining had I been sober.

As we are sitting there, Orlando decides that he wants to have an Irish car bomb. Oh did I say that Orlando wanted to have an Irish car bomb, I'm sorry I mis spoke. Orlando wanted us all to have Irish car bombs. The one snag in his plan was that the bar seemed to be missing some ingredient so Orlando or the bartender, I'm not sure which one, came up with an alternative. Budweiser with a shot of amaretto dropped into it. Are you kidding me? It wasn't all that tasty, and I was unable to chug it. It just wasn't happening, but I did manage to drink most of it. That was essentially two more drinks. My last one wasn't so much my last one.

I was drunk, and then Jessica showed up! YAY! I was so happy! I hadn't seen her in such a long time so I am so glad that she was able to make it there, but she had been text messaging me saying that she was there but I didn't see her and the bar was not that big. I went out to smoke a cigarette with Sara, and then Jessica walked out of the bar. I am not sure how we missed each other in that bar, but it happened. Now that Jessica got there the evening started to get fuzzier because Jessica bought us YET ANOTHER drink. Yet another vodka tonic in my system. The more that we drank meant that it was time for more cigarettes, and when we went out there I wound up talking to a cute guy. I think that we were talking about Rent, but like I said things were a bit hazy, and I am pretty sure that he was cute. After we went back inside he went home, and I did get his phone number but he knew that I lived in LA so neither one of us really expected anything from it which is sad because had I met him while living there I would have called him to see what would have developed. Really? Who am I kidding? It would have turned out the same way all of my daliances with guys turn out. A week long drama that amounts to pretty much nothing. hahaha.

Now things start to get even hazier. I think that at this point it is like 3 in the morning. Orlando decides that we are going to go dancing at Spirit which is by his apartment. It wasn't that far from where we were, and being a bunch of intoxicated individuals we decided to walk. Except Jessica. One moment she was walking next to me and the next I saw her out of the corner of my eye bolting into a cab. I'm not exactly sure why. But I think that we talked to one another on the phone, and she said that she was on her way. I didn't see her for the rest of the evening. That was sort of comical if not sad that I didn't get to say goodbye to her.

When we got to Spirit they let us in, but when we got to the second door they tried to charge us thirty dollars. We turned right around, and I had to use the bathroom. They wanted me to pee on the street, and I am going to tell you all straight up that was not going to happen. I get pee shy. I can't even pee in urinals if there are other people around so peeing on the street was not going to happen. Sara and I went on a quest to find a bathroom, and we went to a deli and a garage and they directed us to a second deli that did have a bathroom, and we bound up buying vegetable samoas. They were damn good. It is sort of random drunken food, but they were tasty nonetheless. Then the people who were sitting next to us offered us their Nan because butter had been put on it. Being the hungry tipsy people that we were, we of course accepted, but there are two questions that arise from this situation. Why were we accepting food from random strangers in the middle of the night? And who puts butter on Nan? It was tasty, but who does that. I have never once heard of that. It seems like a random thing to do, and the people who were running the deli did that. Do people put butter on Nan? I have never heard of it, but if anyone has please let me know.

Sara and I met back up with Orlando, Kevin, and Monica and for some reason we went back to Orlando's, and lied down. God love my friends, they wanted me to stay another week, and as much as I wanted to I knew that I had to get back to work and all of that. I had to wake Sara up and get her into a cab that took us back to her apartment. It was 5am at this point. I then proceeded to sleep through the call that the car service gave me at 7am, but luckily I only overslept for like ten minutes.

I was still drunk and exhausted when I got on the plane, but it was well worth it because it was an incredibly fun night!

Thanksgiving

2005-12-05T19:01:00.000-05:00

For a very long time I have been hearing about the Thanksgiving extravaganza some of my friends have each and every year, and since I have been tucked away here in Los Angeles I thought that it was the perfect year for me to join the Thanksgiving festivities at Yas's. I was by no means disappointed. It was one of the best Thanksgivings that I have ever spent. Yas, as always is an incredible hostess, and the food and the wine was flowing.

Yas made a wonderful thanksgiving dinner. She is someone who knows how to cook! And Orlando did a stupendous job with the turkey. There was also ham which is not thought of with thanksgiving traditionally, but why not. The ham was quite good as well. Plus, there was a table of desserts that were as wonderful to look at as they were to taste, but let me tell you something. I am raving and raving and raving about this food, and all of that raving is well deserved, but I feel like I am just now finishing digesting everything that I ate. I mean, honestly, I was gluttonous. There was no reason to eat all the food that I did, but it was all so delicious and I just could not let the day pass without trying every last dish that was on the table.

What did we do at 2am when we were cleaning everything up? Oh we had ourselves a bit of a snack. Even then I was still full, but the food was just so delicious that I could not resist eating some more of it. After we had eaten dinner, we played a hysterical game of celebrity. The rules aren't so important in this moment, but what is important is that while we were playing it was just a solid block of laughter!!!

Normally, I lace these posts with bits of humor and wild observations, but this post is completely serious. I spent a wonderful Thanksgiving with my wonderful friends in NYC who I miss so much, and I could not have asked for a better Thanksgiving!!!

Fear and Loathing in The Movie Theater

2005-11-29T01:21:00.000-05:00

I went to see Walk the Line today. Much like Cinderella Man, it was a movie that I didn't initially want to see, but once it had been viewed by these eyes it became one of my favorite movies of 2005. I found it to be quite mesmerizing. Joaquin phoenix and Reese Witherspoon were great. I love that Reese Witherspoon. She has quite the range as an actress. She can do the serious dramatic roles, and the frothy romantic comedies that I love so much.

You may be thinking to yourself that I'm going to extol to you the virtues of the movie Walk The Line, and while that would be the predictable route I am actually going to tell you about a little something that happened before the movie began. For some reason the whole morning I had been craving Coke. This isn't exactly a new thing. I have an addiction to the sugary sweet delicious drink. I went to the concession stand, that had a lot of people milling about but no one actually buying anything. I mean what were these people doing. Why were they just standing there not really talking to anyone or looking at anything. There was just hardcore milling. You know what else? I think I just abandoned a sentence in midstream and went off on the milling tangent.

I'm bringing it back. So you know how they often will have movies in the middle of the day in which mothers, or I guess fathers too, can bring their babies with them so that they can continue to see the wonderful cinematic masterpieces that Hollywood brings to us weekly. As I am standing at the concession stand, ordering my Coke, I turn to see a herd of women, and some men, with baby carriages and babies in their arms. Dear Lord....did I just buy a ticket to a baby friendly movie? I don't have anything against babies, but I don't want to see a movie with a theater that is full of them. I am all for the institution of allowing mothers and fathers with small children to come to the movies in a baby friendly theater, but the theater needs to advertise to patrons that are baby free which showings of which movies are going to be baby friendly.

In the end, however, I think it was a showing of Rent that was baby friendly. Whatever it was, it was not the 1:40pm showing of Walk the Line that was surprisngly full.....apparently LA is the city of people who work at weird hours. I guess that makes sense with all of the actors and what not running about.

The moral of the story is, have baby friendly showings of blockbuster films, but advertise the films and times that are going to be that for those of us who do not have babies.

That was a random thought, but you all of the re-telling of my exploits in NYC to look forward to. Here is just a little tidbit of what went down...."Have another giggles today...."

And Another Thing....

2005-11-14T21:33:00.000-05:00

I decided to call Johnny last night, and when I did I got a message that said that this user is not accepting calls at this time. What does that mean? Was I blocked? Was everyone blocked? Has anyone ever gotten that message before because it certainly was a first for me? Is it even his number?

I don't know if he should get another call, but I'm leaning towards no. It doesn't seem to be a good idea. Who knows.

And yet another thing....

I have been so bad with the proofreading. By the time I am finished writing these posts I am so eager to get them up, that I don't proof them. I really must start doing that.

Drama Drama Drama...unexpected third chapter....

2005-11-14T21:10:00.000-05:00

Sunday rolled around, and I really just chalked up the previous evening to a fun little adventure. I was contemplating calling Johnny to see if the number that he had give me was real or not, but it wasn't a priority. It was a situation where I would be perfectly happy to go out with him and see if something more could happen or he could simply be someone that I made out with in a bar. Either one was fine with me.

The day went by. It was a fine day, and then I started to have a phone conversation with Antonio. My blood boils even thinking about this. Honestly. He was droning on and on about this and that, but then we started to talk about the previous evening. I am more then happy to listen to Antonio talk about the same things over and over. IF he feels the need to talk at someone with these problems then fine. I can sit there on the phone with him for a little while, but when he starts to attack me. That isn't going to go over so well. According to him, Johhny was soooooooooooooo into him and I have a problem with honing in on guys that are for Antonio when I start to drink. Of course this was a refrence to Johnny, and that guy from the night that he opened his "club" who wanted nothing to do with Antoion, but liked me.

Johnny was for him? Really? Antonio is the one that is always saying that he only dates one person at a time, and the guy that he was dating that night was apparently so wonderful. How is Johnny for him if he is already dating someone? Apparently Johnny was so into him, and couldn't stop telling Wendy that on Sunday. Somehow I doubt that. Johnny did tell Antonio that he was a great guy, and did kiss him on the cheek a couple of times. THat is very true, and when Antonio pointed that out I didn't argue. But Johnny was grabbing my hand, and putting his arm around my waist, and telling me not to leave, and taking me upstairs where we are to make out. In this scenario why am I supposed to think that Johnny is into Antonio, who has already proclaimed over and over that he has someone that he is dating and had shown nothing but annoyance at Johnny. Yet according to Antonio I moved in on his territory. I think he just doesn't like it when guys like me over him. That is what it seems like to me. Maybe Johnny liked us both....who knows. But I would have to have been psychic to realize...I don't even know what I am supposed to realize.

That angered me...but then Antonio has the nerve to tell me that I have a drinking problem because I can't go to a bar and not drink. WHAT?!?!?!? I told him that we didn't need to talk anymore after that. He was trying to manipulate me into thinking that there is something wrong with me just because Johnny and I kissed. That is bs. I haven't gone out in like two weeks or so. The last couple of times I went out I have had one drink, and that was it. I don't keep any alcohol in the house. Does this sound like a person with a drinking problem?

I don't know where Antonio got off saying those things to me, but for the time being that is the end of that. I don't really know what he wanted from the previous evening, but since it went down in a manner that was against Antonio's liking he choose to try to tell me that I had a drinking problem. No. No. No.

He sent me a text message to apologize, but I need to cool off from this situation because that is not cool. You don't throw that sort of thing around, especially when it is the farthest thing from the truth.

Drama Drama Drama Part 2

2005-11-14T20:40:00.000-05:00

After a while of making out we went downstairs. I don't really know why we stopped making out or what was so important about us going downstairs, but we did. Johnny's friends were leaving, and were going to take Antonio to his boyfriend's house. At least that is what Antonio called him. If someone else called this dude his boyfriend then Antonio would say that they were only dating. They are broken up now. Antonio has these mini-dramas with these guys that don't need to be dramas at all. It comes off as if they are ending these grand romances, when acutally they had been dating for like a week. At least when I end things with a guy it is usually more with a whimper...which is usually what a week long relationship deserves. There are the occasional end with a bang week long relationships, but should that really be your pattern? It sounds too emotionally draining.

That was a bit of a tangent. Antonio had been ready to leave the bar since basically I had gotten there which I think was only a few minutes after he had gotten there, but now that Wendy and Johnny and company were leaving Antonio had a ride because one of their friends had been staying sober to drive...at least that is what they told me. I probably still wouldn't have gotten in the car with them. You never know what people consider sober. Especially here. People in LA seem to be under the impression that they can drive drunk, and that its ok. At least a lot of the ones that I have met do. I make my disagreement with that statement known each time.

You see the reason that these people were bringing Antonio to his whatever's house is because I wouldn't drive him. I guess I had been about halfway through my second drink when Antonio asked me if I would drive him to this guy's house. I was in no mood to drive anywhere to begin with, but besides that I had just had basically two drinks and was getting ready for the third. I had no buisness behind the wheel of a car, but Antonio actually tried to convince me that it would be fine. He would drive my car to this guy's house, and then I could drive myself home. I had just had two strong drinks. That wasn't goinng to be wearing off for a while, and by the time it did I would hopefully be fast asleep. Driving was not in store for me on this particular evening, and this moron actually tried to get me to do it. I was having NONE OF IT!

So Johnny and I reach the exit to the bar, and his friend was there. His friend actually seemed very sweet. He was trying to look out for his friend. I think that he thought that I was lecherous or something. I am the farthest thing from a threat to the boy, but his friend didn't know that and I would react the same way. I got my friends backs so that only proved to me that there are people in LA who know how to be a friend. This had been a fairly good evening, but this is where it took a turn onto Sketchy Lane.

Johnny and I walked to the exit, and his friend was still there, and I was like so you want to give me your number. I don't think that he was going to ask for mine. I should have taken that as clue number one, but I was drunk so whatever. He gave me the number, and it ended in a 24, but his friend who was behind him kept saying 84. What? What? What? I was most definitley picking up on that. Was he giving me a fake number? What is that? He claimed that it was a real number, but I was leery. We made out in front of the bar a bit more, and I told him that I would call him. He headed in one direction to go to the car, and I went in the other direction towards my house.

The next thing I know I'm getting a call from Antonio, and I'm not exactly sure why he called me but what I gathered from the phone call that Johhny was there freaking out over the fact that he thought that i had herpes. Why did he think I have herpes you may ask yourself? Because god damn Antonio told that fricking story about me making out with seventeen guys on my birthday. He so misrepresents that story. There were only like two guys who I actually made out made out with. For the most part I was attempting to avoid them, because most of them were gross. But Johnny had gotten into his head that I had herpes, because there had been jokes about it when the story had been told. In his drunken state he was confusing everything I guess. Not only am I drunk, but I am now pissed and drunk. The record had to be set straight. I went back to where they had parked, and Johhny was getting in the car and I went over to him to explain how you know I didn't have herpes and all that fun stuff. What does Antonio do? He gets in front of me....block my path to Johnny who now gets in the car, and tells me to be on my way. Are you kidding me? Had I just been dismissed? What the f!

Being drunk, however, I wasn't really able to put up much of a fight. I then proceeded to start walking home, called Antonio to tell him how pissed I was at the situation and I didn't realize this at the time but at him as well, but he wasn't even trying to hear what I had to say. He was in the midst of his own drama. Shocking. About twenty minutes later, I called Johnny.....this was a stupid thing to do I realize, but I was drunk so I give myself a pass. Not to say that it was any less humiliating, but sometimes when you are drunk you don't make the best phoen call decisions. I didn't actually get Johnny...I got a voicemail...it could have been or it might not have been, and if it wasn't him then someone is going to be laughing a lot at the voicemail of a pissed off drunk gay man extolling the fact that he doesn't have herpes and then stating how cute Johhny is and giving him my phone number. All in one message. I most definitley was under the influence of vodka.

Then the night evolved into a ridiculous montage of me giving two girls on the street a cigarette and learning that they two had moved here from the East Coast over the summer, and they two hated LA more then any other place in the world and desperately missed NYC! :)

After leaving them, I got home went inside and was about to get into bed when I decided that I wanted to go outside, smoke another cigarette, and call people. Yes I made the concious decision to make drunk phone calls. I rationalized it to myself by caling only people who I thought might be up! The one small problem in this whole equation is that it was 2:30 in the morning...on a Sunday....that would make it 5:30 in the morning East Coast time. Who the hell is going to be up? I mean honestly. What lucky souls did I deem to be up all nighters? Two of my friends from high school, Erin and Kevin(although I have to admit that there was probably a chance that he might have actually been up, and my cousin Victoria...that one had stemmed from an im conversation that we had in which we expressed our desire to keep in touch better. Probably not the best time to follow through on that.

No one answered, of course. Erin called me the next day, but I have yet to hear from Kevin and Victoria which I find strange. If someone leaves you a rambling, semi-incoherent message at 2:30/5:30 in the morning might you not want to call them back and find out what precipitated the need? Apparently they are not curious people. I would not be able to resist.

Drama Drama Drama

2005-11-14T20:24:00.000-05:00

I'm not even kidding with you either. This was some serious drama. It was fleeting drama, but it was some drama nonetheless. I did have plans for this Saturday evening. I was going to a comedy show with the roomies, and then I was going to come home and just chill out, but then Antonio called me. I should start to put together that every time I head out on an excursion with Antonio it leads to some sort of drama in my life, but apparently I'm very short sighted at times. He invited me to go to the Abby with him and some friends. I hadn't been out in a long time. I mean I was very much into the idea of going out to a bar, having a few drinks, maybe getting hit on a by a cute boy, perhaps even make out with one.......so I said yes. The comedy show and the hitting the WEHO bar timed out perfectly.

Suzanne Westenhofer, the comedian that we went to see, was very funny. Tara, Steph, and I got home and then I headed out to meet Antonio and his friends at the Abby. The Abby is a cool place I must say. It's indoors and outdoors all at once. Everything sort of bleeds into one another. They play good music, and after Saturday night I can firmly attest to the fact that they make very very good drinks. Without even realizing it, I was buying my vodka tonics with grey goose vodka. Grey Goose Vodka goes down very smoothly. I was sucking those things down. Even I was beginning to wonder why I was drinking them so quickly. To put your minds at east I only had about two and a half drinks. But they were strong. (Just a quick side note-I live within walking distance to the gay bars of West Hollywood so I was not going to be behind the wheel of any type of vehicle so I was free to get a little tipsy and not have to worry about getting home because my two stumbling feet would be able to get me there!)

I was getting ahead of myself. I met Antonio's friends and they all seemed very cool. Granted most of the time that I spent with them we were all drunk. They were definitley fun in the bar, but I have no idea what they would be like outside that realm. They could be very lovely, who knows. There were four people there with Antonio, but two of them have names that are eluding me because they just kept disappearing. I have no idea where it is that they were. But the other two have names that are the fore of my mind. Wendy and Johnny. Wendy was an interesting girl. She is definitley a party girl. She seems like she loves to have a good time, and she is not shy in the least. Every guy that walked past her she asked them if they were gay or not. Most of them were since ya know we were in a gay bar, but there were a couple who were straight believe it or not. She honed in on them. The straight ones were pretty hot actually. And they seemed straight. They were stiff and kind of out of place. I have no problem with straight guys going to gay bars, but if your going to be that uncomfortable then what is the point. I can't imagine that there is anything that would demand your presence there. Maybe a gay friend...but even then....who knows.

Johnny drunk was another story all together. He was loud, and a little bit out of control, but not in a completely annoying way. It was sort of cute. I could be saying this because most of the time I spent with him was spent intoxicated, but who knows. Antonio didn't seem to be amused by him in the slightest, but Antonio doesn't seem to be amused by much that takes attention away from him. As the evening progressed Johnny and I started to flirt. He was grabbing my back, and we were holding hands, and doing that close talking thing. You all know what it is. We have all done the flirting thing. But one moment he was telling me that I was cute, and he didn't understand why I wanted to spend time with him because he is never anyone's type, and the next minute when I am telling him that he too is cute he is getting all up in arms over the fact that telling someone that they are cute is something that you tell dogs and cats. What? Does that make me his pet because he seemed very sincere when he was telling me that I was cute. Apparently sincere these days means drunk.

He was definitley starting to act strange, and I wasn't interested in his weirdness so I told him that I was going to head out. When I did that his tune changed a bit. We were standing there with his friend whose name I can't remember, and Johnny turned to his friend and asked him if he would mind if we went off alone for a bit. Honestly, I don't know what his friend said but the next thing I knew I was being led to an upstairs part of this bar. It was a massive bar. There was some more close talking, and he asked me when was the last time that I had a boyfriend. Being drunk I had to think about that one because it has been that long since there has been a guy who has wanted to stay around for longer then a drunken night. I know I told him years, I just don't know how many years I told him. It was close enough. It got the point across. Since we were doing the question thing I asked him if I could kiss him. He said yes, and then we pecked on the lips. Not what I had in mind, and I made that known which led to us making out. He was really insecure about his abilities as a kisser, but he was a good kisser. He kept telling me that he was probably doing it wrong, which he wasn't. I'm so unbelievably insecure with guys, that when a guy is insecure around me I find that to be absolutely irresistible. How ridiculous am I!

Podcasting.....

2005-11-14T20:21:00.000-05:00

I think that I might start to do some podcasting...it's a thought that I am going to research. Can you imagine my shenanigans as related through my own voice all over the internet? I'm telling you that would be some funny stuff, because sometimes something can be so much funnier with the right inflection.

More on that later, but I expect all of my faithful readers to become my faithful listeners as well....this may not be until the new year, but rest assured that it is in the works! :)

Road Safety Construction Equipment...

2005-11-06T19:43:00.000-05:00

The spam comments on my blog are getting out of control. Out of control and odd. Within minutes of posting a new entry, I have these random comments that are basically the equivalent of spam email.

Road Safety Construction Equipment?

Road Repair?

Why are they even spamming me with these things? Spam just gets stranger and stranger. At least I could understand why they innundate people with spam for viagra and porn....but road safety construction equipment?

These spammers are getting lazy and boring.

If LA were a puzzle....

2005-11-06T19:39:00.000-05:00

Where am I going with this one you may be asking yourself....

If LA were a puzzle, then I would be the piece that doesn't fit. I was put into the wrong package, and now trying to get me to fit into the puzzle is causing nothing but frustration.

You know what, though? I don't think that I want to fit into this puzzle.

:)

Yet Another Reason That I Hate Cars...

2005-11-06T19:36:00.000-05:00

This happened about two weeks ago. I was driving home from Best Buy. I was going about twenty miles an hour. All of a sudden the car starts to swerve out of contro, and I'm up on one of those islands in the middle of the road. I manage to get the car back onto the road, and into a parking lot. Luckily, there were no other cars around so there was no damage to anyone but me. Plus. I wasn't hurt. Just annoyed. I had no idea why the car decided to jump up on the island.

Now I was stuck with two flat tires. I had to have someone come and tow me to a local auto repair shop, and as it turned out all he had to do was put the spare onto one of the tires, and I was able to drive it down the road. According to the repairman, they think that I hit a small rock and that made me lose control. A small rock? really? Damn small rocks. Within a day the price of repair went from $100 to $410.....this was such an unneccesary expense that it is not even funny!

Add that to the list of reasons why I hate to drive.

The Epic and Tragic Story of My Love Life...Part 4

2005-11-06T18:57:00.000-05:00

Tuesday of the next week was the day of my next date with Dave. But that never happened. Dave called me on Tuesday morning to say that he was sick, and that he didn't think that he was going to be able to make it. Hmmm....the red flags were already starting to go up, but when we re-schedueled for Friday night, and he suggested that I give him a call that night to see how he was doing I decided I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, and perhaps he actually was sick. If I were sick, I wouldn't want to go out on a date either.

I did call him that night, and we had a really great conversation. We talked for like an hour. Now if he wanted to give me the brush off then I don't think that he would have either reschedueled the date, talked to me on the phone for an hour, or made several sexual innuendos on the phone with me. My favorite of which was, and when I say favorite I mean in the sense of trying to stifle laughter when talking to him not getting sexually aroused by it, was when he suggested that on Friday night I come over to his house and try and see if I get cell phone reception in his apartment....in every room of the apartment. Apparently he doesn't get reception, and I said that when I was there I got reception and suggested that he switch to Verizon. However, when he started talking about me trying the reception in every room of the house combined with the tone of his voice and the direction that the conversation had been headed in I was led to believe that we were no longer talking about the wonder that is Verizon Wireless.

I got off the telephone confident in what was going on. However, when I was leaving my writing class on Thursday night I got a message from Dave saying that he was not feeling any better. He was now on antibiotics, and wanted to rescheduel our date again for next week. Ok...fine. Now on one hand if this were a lie it is far too elaborate, and if he wanted to simply not see me anymore he could either quit reschedueling the dates or simply ignore my calls. So even though I was starting to grow suspicious of the whole situation, I decided that I was going to give him yet another chance.

Over the weekend, I went to yet another party that Antonio was throwing. This time I got in, but there weren't very many people there and the roomies were tired and had to get up early the next morning so I relieved them of their duties of coming with me, but that meant that I was there by myself. Of course I started to make phone calls even though it was like 1am in NYC. I knew the night owls to call...particularly on a Saturday night. While I was on the phone there was this cute guy who kept walking past me and smiling, and since nothing else was happening at the party I figured it would be worth at least talking to the guy. The blip that this dude was in my life, I am not even going to name him in this post. He is just going to be called guy. That, and I don't really want to remember him because of the ridiculousness of the whole situation.

The guy and I actually seemed to hit it off a bit, until I found out that he was brought here by a friend of Antonio's so that she could set up the guy with Antonio. Are you kidding me? Have I gotten myself into this situation again? Antonio immediatley saw what was going on, and told me that he was moving in for the kill on this guy which left me sort of conflicted because things between us had already started. I didn't move in knowing that he was there for Antonio, but the two of them hadn't even been introduced yet so I was kind of annoyed at Antonio because he didn't even know the dude yet, and he was still embroiled in all of his nonsense with Ricardo. Nonetheless, I decided to try to stay away from the guy so as not incur the wrath that is Antonio. The story now takes on a bit of twists and turns. The guy really wasn't interested in Antonio, and even though Antonio was trying to thrust himself upon the guy, the guy was not having any of it.

Meanwhile, the guy kept coming over to me and trying to dance with me, and put his hands all over me, and I was just trying to keep myself out of the situation so as not to cause any problems. I really wasn't looking for any drama. To remove myself from the situation, I went to the bathroom. The guy followed me to the bathroom, threw me up agains the wall, and started to make out with me. For a moment I went with it, but pushed him away and told him that we couldn't do any of this because I was just trying to avoid a dramatic situation that would just hurt people's feelings. The guy kept insisting that he didn't have any interest in Antonio, but I was still conflicted about the whole thing.

I went out to the patio to have a cigarette, and the guy followed me out there, and soon after Antonio was out there. Awkward is not the word for the situation. I literally wanted to run. The guy's friend then comes running out and says that her friend, who was there as well, had just recieved a call from her mother informing her that her grandfather had just had a heart attack and was going in for triple bypass surgery so the guy's friend was going to bring her friend home. The guy, the guy's friend, the friend of the guy's friend, and Antonio all went to the cars. Antonio and the guy were going to return, but I decided it would be best if I just stayed where I was.

When the guy finally returns, he not only tells me that Antonio had thrust him up against a wall outside in an attempt to make out with him, but the whole story about the grandfather was made up so that they could leave. Are you kidding me? That is a messed up story to create. Who was stopping them from leaving? As for the other part of the story, who knew what was going on, but needless to say Antonio was pissed because he was not only being rejected but I was getting the attention of the guy tht he wanted attention from.

Ricardo came to pick Antonio up, and then it was just me and the guy. Since the guy didn't have a ride home, I made the mistake of offering to take him there which was fairly close to where we were. I took him home, and of course went inside with him. We hooked up, and I felt incredibly guilty about it, but at the same time I didn't. I was very conflicted, and as soon as the whole thing was over I just wanted to be out of there. It wasn't one of my wiser moves because not only did I regret it after it happened but I am then informed that the dude was 19 years old! WHAT! That sort of thing so does not enter my mind when someone is in a bar that cards and they are drinking. I had assumed that he was my age. Stupid assumption. It changed everything. First of all I am sick of being decieved about how old people are, secondly I wasn't interested in dating a nineteen year old, and third of all it made me see more clearly that i would like to see if something could happen with Dave. Now we had only gone out on one date, so it's not like I was cheating on him or anything, especialy since he kept cancelling dates, but it just put things in perspective for me.

The next morning I talked to Antonio, and he basically told me that he was pissed at me, but he and Ricardo had decided to give the dating thing a try again. I am not exactly sure what he was pissed about. He was pissed because the guy didn't like him. The guy and I met one another before he even knew Antonio existed, and Antonio told me he didn't find the guy to be that cute anyway. Was this all out of spite? I didn't really understand then why he was making a whole drama about me and the guy liking each other. And the fact that he turned out to be nineteen just made the whole situation worse. Frankly, I had wished I had stayed home and watched a movie that night.

The guy was now stricken from my life, and I continued to feel guilty about that situation with Antonio because I really try to do the right thing, but I was also sort of angry because Antonio basically told me that he stopped the situation just because he could. What is that about? If he didn't even really want the guy, then why was he putting people through nonsense.

Wednesday rolls around, and Dave and I have finally managed to set a lunch date. We go to lunch, and that same ease is there, and there is that same chemistry. In the moment I didn't notice anything different, but in hindsight I guess I can now see that there was a different energy on Dave's part. They do say hindsight is twenty-twenty. The lunch goes splendidly...I offer to pay since Dave paid last time. Dave drives me home...we get into my driveway....and Dave tells me that he thinks that we should just be friends. He isn't feeling the dating vibe anymore. WHAT?!?! Why did we need to go to lunch for you to tell me that, and why didn't you tell me that at lunch so I didn't offer to pay for a lunch that was essentially being used to dump me, for lack of a better word. Yeah. Clearly, I didn't show him that side of my anger. I just said that it was cool. He said something about calling me to hang out, which I'm not holding my breath for, and we parted ways. I was not devestated by this by any means. I was a little disappointed, but it wasn't something that was going to make me sad in the slightest. The worst part about it was that I paid for the lunch!

Now my love life is quiet. There are no prospects, and nothig is going on. I have to say that I am fine with that for a little while. After that month of nonsense it won't be such a bad thing to not have to worry about drama!

The Epic and Tragic Story of My Love Life...Part 3

2005-11-06T18:42:00.000-05:00

The Ricardo thing turned out to be a complete bust, and thus my interest in Dave was completely renewed. We had been playing phone tag, but had finally managed to pin down a date to go out and have a drink. The problem with the date that we had picked was two fold. First of all Ranise had just left that day, and while I loved having her visit and it was certainly an eventful and fun trip, I was completely exhausted. I had been run ragged not only physically, but the whole mini-drama that had unfolded over the entire trip had been mentall draining as well. However, I had to keep this downpour of men going. The second problem was that it was a Wednesday night, and Lost was on. Yes I was TIVOing it, but Lost is one of those shows that you can't wait to watch. :)

Dave and I went to a very nice restaurant/lounge that is within walking distance to my house. To suggest anything that is witihin walking distance to myself instantly endears me to you, because I make it known to strangers and friends alike that driving is perhaps the thing that I like to do least in this world. On the other hand, he could have suggested that we go somewhere within walking distance of my house so he could get me drunk and take advantage of me. My initial thoughts on Dave were that he was cute, but perhaps a little too old for me at 35. After our date had been going on for a little while, my thoughts on him had changed a little bit. He was still cute, but he was definitley too old for me because he decided to confess after our first drink that for a reason he is not really sure of he decided to tell me that he was 35 just to see if I would believe him. How old was he actually you may be asking yourself? 42. Yes. He was seventeen years older then me. 42 is well beyond my usual cut off, but by this point we had already started to click. We actually had things in common, and were able to have a very easy conversation with one another. Plus, he was still cute.

Three vodka tonics and a not very full stomach later, we were talking about Lost and how much we both liked it. A few moments after that Dave was suggesting that we go back to his apartment to watch Lost. So clearly there was some merit in my notion that he was getting me drunk to take advantage of me, but honestly there was a good vibe going on between us, and I wasn't fulled by his suggestion to go back to his apartment and "watch" Lost. Being the older more established of the two of us, he insisted on paying. In that moment it had a little bit of a sugar daddy feel which I felt sort of icky about, but I didn't ask him to pay, and I knew that I wasn't going to let it turn into a situaton like that so if he wanted to pay for some drinks and appetizers then more power to him. And, he did ask me out after all.

We went back to his very nice apartment, with his very nice flat screen tv mounted on the wall, and we did start to watch Lost. At first we were sitting with some space between us, and then we were sitting very close to one another, then we were holding hands. About forty minutes into the episode there was a commercial break, and that's when the making out started. I'm going to fast forward a bit here because not everyone needs the gory details, and I was a little tipsy and there was hooking up. But it was nice. Even after we hooked up we still had things to talk about, and nothing got weird. He drove me home. No talk of spending the night had occured, and even if he had mentioned it I wanted to go home. I had to get up early to go to Barry's Bootcamp, and after the crazy birthday weekend I wanted to get back into my normal routine.

At my apartment, we kissed goodbye and set up another date. Honestly, that is probably the first time that I have had a second date set before the first date even ended. It was nice. It certainly made me see the virtues of older guys who aren't neccesarily into all of the game playing. Usually they promise to call assuring me how interested they are, they never call, I foolishly break down and call them, and of course never hear from them again. It is a predictable cycle. I almost find comfort in the predictability of it all. But this time was different, and I was completely for trying something different.

The Epic and Tragic Story of My Love Life...Part 2

2005-10-30T15:39:00.000-05:00

The four of us are now at Mickey's, and after having spent about an hour and a half outside with Ricardo the crush that I had on him became official. It was funny because even though we were stuck outside of the club, and it was rather aggrevating I didn't completely mind it. I had a chance to get some get to know you time with Ricardo which wasn't such a bad thing. We all headed to the back of the bar to dance, and before I knew it of the four of us Ricardo and I were the only two dancing. Antonio and Ranise had flittered away. I have no idea where they were, but the two of us were there dancing. It is a tricky situation because at this point I had no idea what was going on inside Ricardo's head. I was beginning to think that maybe he might have a little thing for me as well, but God knows that I am not brave enough to act on one of these hunches. I'm not the make the first move kind of guy. I am the avert eye contact with the object of one's affection when the two of you are on the dance floor alone giving you the perfect opportunity to size up the situation. I never have been one to take advantage of situations like that.

Ranise and Antonio continue to go between the dance floor and the bar, but on one trip back Antonio comes without Ranise, and I saw this as a good opportunity to take Ranise outside and size up the situation only to find her in an intimage converstation with some guy. I thought perhaps she had found the only straight guy in the bar, but no it was just another gay. Not that I wanted to be rude, but the woman has enough homosexual men in her life, and she doesn't need to start making this a bi-coastal thing. Plus, this gay in her life needed to have a confab so that particular dude, as lovely as he may have been, was unfortunately out of luck in this situation. I dragged her outside to the patio, and before I could have much of any sort of conversation with her Ricarod and Antonio came outside. That shut me up very quickly. My moment to rant and rave about the situation had now been replaced with a moment of meaningless chit chat as we stood outside. We are all talking, and talking, and talking, and then I feel a hand on my back. There were a lot of people at this bar who were taking a lot of liberties with their hands, and I figued that the hand was going to rest their for a moment and then go away. No. The hand stayed where it was, and started to rub my back. I quickly realized that it was Ricardo's hand that was on my back. Ok......from the moment that this was happening I knew that Antonio was not going to like it.

This went on for about the whole time that we were in the bar, and once we decided to leave we headed to the Abbey which was down the street. Ranise had to use the bathroom, and even though it was verging on closing time there was still forty-five minutes or so left on the clock. We went in there, and the four of us sort of dispersed in the crowd for a moment. When I finally found Ranise at the bathroom, she told me that her and Ricardo had been checking out guys, and while the one that they were looking at was cute, he was not the kind of guy that Ricardo would bring home to his mother. With a lead in like that it was Ranise's duty to ask what type of guy he would bring home to mom. What was his answer to this question? Oh....it was me. He said Brian. Ricardo went into the bathroom, and Ranise related this tale to me, and honestly I didn't know what to make of it. Was it a figurative tale or did it actually mean something? I've come to realize that as soon as I learn that someone actually may reciprocate feelings for me it immediately fizzles. But that is for later in the story.

Ranise went into the bathroom, and I went back to sit with Antonio. We are sitting there in pseudo silence, and I'm detecting a bit of tension in the air. Keep in mind that I am very conflicted in this whole situation because I know how Antonio feels about Ricardo, and I am not looking to step on anyone's toes or anything. But at the same time it was Ricardo who was making the moves, albeit smal ones, but moves nonetheless on me. Out of the blue, Antonio whips his head around to me, looks me straight in the eye, and tells me that he is no longer attracted to Ricardo effectivley breaking the silence. Honestly, I didn't know how to react because I knew that this was coming from thee fact that he was picking up on whatever it was that was going on between me and Ricardo at the moment. This just made me feel worse about the whole thing, but I knew that I needed to probe further into that statement. These types of things do not just come out of nowhere. I mean honestly. According to Antonio the reason that he no longer was attracted to Ricardo was because he wasn't a good dancer. He saw the manner in which Ricardo danced, and all manner of attraction that Antonio had for him went out the window. Are you kidding me? I didn't believe him for a second. I mean I realize that to some people being a good dancer is a very attractive quality, but the lack of fantastic dancing skills is not a reason to cease an attraction that had been so strong previously.

I just told him not to be so hasty with decisions like that knowing that it was not only completely ridiculous, but also completely false. However, at that particular moment Ranise and Ricardo returned so the conversation was put aside. As soon as Ranise sat down she shooed me away to get her a drink as if I were her personal valet, and she sent Ricardo off with me, who immediatley put his hands on my waist. These are small things, but they are clear signals. Everything that was going on was like an elephant in the room. Ricardo was making these small moves on me, I was clearly not pushing him away, and Antonio was making proclomation of his lack of attraction towards Ricardo but no one was talking about what it is that was occuring. Isn't denial fun?

We left the bar, and went to eat at a diner and Antonio was more exuberant then usual. He was talking up the waitress and all the other patrons in the bar. Meanwhile, Ricardo was grabbing my leg under the table and sending me text messages that I looked hot. Hmmmm......it was so Dawson-Joey-Pacey, without the depth and complexity of the relationships.....I had alwas pictured myself as the Dawson type but in this particular case I was thrust into the role of Pacey. There are worse Creek characters to be, and honestly didn't everyone want it to be Pacey's Creek anyway.

We left the diner, Ricardo and Antonio dropped me and Ranise off, and they were on their way. Ricardo sent me a text message telling me to have sweet dreams, and I was officially smitten even though I was feeling enormous guilt over being smitten and had no idea what to do with the whole thing. The next day, Ricardo and I texted and talked on the phone, and that continued for a couple of days and then nothing. On that Monday, Antonio asked me point blank if I liked Ricardo, and unable to deny it everything was on the table. Antonio spun a tale that he was fine with the whole thing, and I did sort of believe him or it more became that I wanted to believe him. But later that night, Antonio, in what I'm convinced was partly to make sure I knew about the situation and partly to dissuade me from pursuing Ricardo, informed that Ricardo was one to date multiple guys. I can't say that I'm neccesarily against that, but it seems like the other guys aren't usually aware of the existence of the others and to me that is sort of shady. I can't say that my attration was gone from that moment, but as much as I get frustrated when storylines get abruptly dropped and are never talked about again on my soaps that is exactly what happened in this situation. After that Monday night, I literally dropped the whole Ricardo thing.

Only two days earlier I had had such hope for the situation, but I quickly realized that it was never going to come together in the way that I wanted it to so I basically just closed the book on the situation. As a bit of a side note, Ricardo and Antonio have gone on to have a very on again off again on again off again relationship that is in a constant state of flux and I have no idea where it stands. Antonio's feelings weren't so turned off, Ricardo clearly had stronger feelings for Antonio then anyone was able to see, and I was the smartest one of all for taking myself out of the situation. Pats on my back all around....

However, that is not the end of this tale. It is only the end of that chapter...because on Wednesday of that week I finally went on my date with Dave......

The Epic and Tragic Story of My Love Life...

2005-10-30T15:19:00.000-05:00

The fact that I am now putting this tale in my blog means that it is over and done with and nothing is going to happen with any of these guys in any way shape or form because if there was a chance for things to work out I wouldn't be eviscerating them in my blog. When I am in the throes of these stories I try to keep them out of the blog so that a guy that I may like doesn't stumble upon this, and read what I have to say about him. Granted, the chances of that happening are slim to none, but that slim leaves me a little nervous, and thus the stories stay out. Until now that is. Now that they have run their course, and if said individuals do stumble upon this blog then that is their problem.

The Tuesday before my birthday, I went to a gay mixer with Antonio and Ricardo. The name gay mixer sounds so odd. I don't even really know what it was for, but Antonio had asked me if I wanted to go and seeing as how my social calender isn't exactly busting at the seems these days I was more then happy to jump on that bandwagon. At first glance there really wasn't anyone there that I could forsee myself being interested in, but the evening went along, and I wound up meeting a guy named Dave. Antonio was telling some grandiose story, and being the smart ass that I can be at times I was making little side comments to myself and those within my earshot. Just to be clear, I wasn't making these side comments to be mean or some sort of bastard. I was just being humorous. I was not so much making fun of Antonio...it was more poking fun at him. It was all in good spirits. Regardless, Dave thought that I was very funny, and told me so. BTW for those of you out there, one of the surest way to get into my pants is to tell me that I am funny. I just love to hear that. You can tell me I'm funny and then immediately afterward call me hideous and the only thing I will remember is that you thought that I was funny. It is a quality I strive to have, and I think I do but when I get confirmation of it...well forget about. He wanted to give me his card, but he didn't have any on him, so instead I gave him my phone number. A good strategy if I say so myself....give the power to him. If this 35 year old man wanted to call me then I had no problem leaving all the power in his hands. Oh yeah...did I mention that he was 35 years old. Honestly, when I found that out I thought that he might be a little too old for me, but at the same time I too am getting older and I guess a ten year age difference isn't such a horrible thing, but it is my cut off. At least that is what I told myself.

To my shock, Dave actually did call me on Thursday night. That weekend happened to be my birthday weekend and Ranise was going to be in town, but I still had every intention of calling him back.

Some of you may have read some of the stuff that I posted about my birthday weekend, but there is definitley a subplot that I left out. I am not going to go into the whole birthday extravaganza again, but I will re-visit the parts that are relevant. Like I said earlier, Ricardo, Antonio, Ranise, and I had all gone out to dinner and then to a bar in which all sorts of unsavory fellows(with the exception of one or two) were thrust upon me. What I did not mention was that by the end of the evening I had a crush on Ricardo. I'm not sure where it came from, but all of a sudden it was there. Keep in mind, Antonio had made it very clear that he had feelings for Ricardo, and I think that Ricardo had feelings for him but I wasn't sure at the time. Ranise of course knew it right away, and I was already feeling gulity for having a crush on Ricardo when I knew that Antonio liked him. But it was there and there wasn't much that I could do about it except go on.

Saturday rolls around, and Ranise is hounding me to call Dave back. She kept going on about not putting all of my eggs in one basket. She was right of course, but at the time I didn't want to see any of it because I was fixated on Ricardo. That is where I had set my sights even though I had no reason to believe that there was any sort of reciprocity on his part. Ranise, however, did a good job of nagging me so ultimately I did call Dave and leave him a message before we all went out to the club that Antonio was running that evening. The club that Ricardo and I were forced to stand outside of because they would not let us in or even look at the list, and when we got to the front of the line they tried to charge us twenty dollars. If you want that whole tale, then you can go to the post about it, but what happened was that Ricardo, Ranise, Antonio, and myself wound up in the heart of West Hollywood at Mickey's.....and that is when things start to get interesting.

Random...

2005-10-22T15:06:00.000-04:00

So I randomly got onto a kick of finding out what my name means because of a conversation I was having with my friend Arlen, and this is what I came up with:

Brian
Strong, virtuous and honourable : Celtic

You are a visionary with courage and enthusiasm if a little hasty at times. Your ambitious nature can be satisfied when you apply wisdom, patience and self-discipline to your vitality and zest. You have wonderful way with words and may be drawn to the communications arena where there is the potential for great success. Your generous and warm nature attracts many friends and loved ones.

Thoughts?

So this is strange....

2005-10-21T02:18:00.000-04:00

I finally found a place that I could buy the skin care products that I like, and I discovered that it is also a salon that does waxing. The brows needed a wax, and let's be honest here-I wax my shoulders. There is unsightly hair there, not a lot but enought that I want to get rid of it, and so this was one stop shopping for me. Is that too much information? Well at least I don't have back hair. Now that skeeves me out. If I did have it I would certainly have to get it waxed, and I can't imagine that that is a pleasant experience! YIKES!

On Monday, I went and bought my skin care products and set up an appointment for today, Thursday, to get my waxing done. Wondeful. This afternoon I go there, and the same guy who took my appointment is the guy who was doing the waxing. Before we get started he turns to me and says that a friend of mine had come in on Wednesday looking for me. What? I hadn't even told anyone that I was going to be going there. He had to be mistaken. Apparently, a short chubby girl with curly blond hair wearing a leather jacket had come into the store asking, using my first and last name, if I had been there. I guess he had recognized my name from when I came in for the appointment. He said that he told her he didn't know what she was talking about, but who knows what he actually said to her.

Is that not strange? Is someone following me? Do I have a private investigator on my trail for reasons that I am unaware of? I literally didn't mention to anyone that I was going to that salon. I don't even know the name of it off hand. Plus, I don't know anyone who meets that description here in Los Angeles, and the only other people who I may have mentioned my waxing appointment to are my roommates. Neither one of them matches that description, neither does anyone they know here, and they wouldn't need to trail me to a skin care salon.

I don't really know what to make of that. I guess I will be on the lookout to see if anyone is trailing me.

Tizzy Tuesday

2005-10-14T23:39:00.000-04:00

By this point in the week I am basically exhausted. Not only have I been waking up every morning at 6am to go to Barry's, but I have been working during the day with Jason, running around during the remainder of the day with Ranise, and ususally staying up late. But this was Ranise's last night in town so that meant that we were going to go out on the town and do it up right. So for the first time since I have been going to bootcamp, I decided that I would not go the next day so that I could stay out later. Little did I know at the time how wise of a decision that that actually was.

Antonio, Ranise, and I went to dinner which was a fairly uneventful if not enjoyable way to share a meal, and then went to RAGE to see the DreamGirls Review, a drag show. The drag show actually was a good time, but there was this really weird guy there named Kyle, and at one point he latched himself onto our little group, sat down with us, was putting the moves on me, ordered himself another drink, went to go to the bathroom, and then never came back. On our way out of the bar I found him in the front of the establishment writing what appeared to be gibberish on napkins with two other men in the bar. He then insisted that I give him a tight hug before I left. We were going to leave, but then they started to play Since You Been Gone, and so I had to stay and bop to that because God knows I love me some Kelly Clarkson. I was going to say another goodbye to Kyle, but he was too involved in his gibberish. It was so weird. I say a lot of things are weird, but I don't say this lightly. This guy was weird, and involved in some weird shenanigns and the more that I think about it the more that I realize that it was quite the blessing that he decided to simply walk away from me.

The next stop on our tour was Beige.....this was supposedly a place that was a mixture of gays and straights, but to this observor all I saw were pairs of the man to man variety. At this point I had zero desire to be out anymore. I was a little bit drunk, and a lot exhausted and Ranise and Antonio were basically DRAGGING me out. All I wanted to do was go home and go to bed. After going straight for five days or so I had nothing left in me to give. But I was forced to tap into the reserves and go into this bar. Ranise decides that she is going to tell Antonio that she wants to have sex before she leaves LA. To anyone who may meet Antonio please heed the warning that I'm going to impart to you. If you ever say anything to him, make sure it is something that you really want to happen or something that you really want someone else to know becaue he will make your dream a reality. This boy doesn't mess around. He knows how to get things done.

The cell phone that he attaches to he has attached to his ear was whipped out and he proceeded to call his brother. Antonio calls many people his brother, but they aren't actually his brothers. They are just individuals that he feels he shares some sort of special connection with. He doesn't beat around any bushes either. He simply called this dude up, and told him that he had a friend who wanted to have sex before she left for LA. If someone called me and told me that they had a friend who wanted to have sex before they left LA, I would have to tell them that I couldn't help them out. I would not be having sex with some random person that my friend delivers to my door, but that is just me. And it's not like I don't hook up with random guys that I bring home from bars. But I digress. The "brother" told Antonio to bring her on over. Of course Ranise was mortified by this, and wanted no part of it, but at the same time a part of her did want a part of it. Where was I in this whole debacle? Sitting down trying not to fall asleep, and averting the eye contact of some drunk man who was clearly interested in something other then having a conversation with me.

Ranise goes to the bar, and this woman comes back from the bar with two drinks. Why she thought as I was sitting on the bench nearly passing out from exhaustion that I needed more alcohol I do not know, but since Antonio does not drink and was driving that meant that this drink had to be for me. I was less then interested in the drink, and even less interested in the guy who continued to make eye contact with me, but eventually I was standing next to Antonio and the guy was standing right next to me just staring. I couldn't handle it anymore, so I turned and introduced myself. At least it would get rid of the creepy glares that this dude was giving me.

That was an incorret assumption. The creepy glares continued, the only difference now was that they were accompanied by words. He liked Kelly Clarkson. That was a plus in his book, but for the most part I wasn't very interested in what he had to say to me. Mostly because he just kept repeating the fact that I was cute. I like to be told that I'm cute, don't get me wrong. But if that is the only thing that you have to say because you are so drunk that it is the only sentence that your brain is able to form then there is going to be a serious lack of interest on my part.

Since it was now 2am, and the bar was closing, I tried to slip away and just give the guy a hug and probably never see him again. Antonio thought that it would be a good idea to ask him for his numbers. Why? I clearly didn't wnat it. Plus, he was so drunk that he was never going to remember giving it to me anyway.

In the car, Antonio decides the he is going to drive us to his "brother's house". We arrive, and perhaps one of the hottest italian men I have ever seen steps out of the apartment building in nothing but a pair of shorts. I could literally see the pool of drool that was forming on my lap. The sheer beauty of this straight boy was out of control. There was conversation and a lot of heming and hawing on Ranise's part, but you know what? She got out of the car and went into his apartment with him. Which of course meant that Brian wasn't going to be going to bed anytime soon, and to be perfectly honest that was all that I was thinking about at the moment. I should have been thinking that I don't really know Antonio that well, and I certainly don't know this dude that she is going off with, but at the moment my brain was clouded. That is what happens when you keep me going at warp speed for five days straight. At the same time, if Ranise didn't want to get out of the car and have sex with this guy then I was more then willing to. Not that he would want to have sex with me, but yes he was that hot.

We drive home, and we are not home for more then ten minutes when Ranise calls for us to come and pick her up. Antonio offered to go and pick her up without me. I was in no position to drive, but I was also not drunk enough to let someone go driving in my car without me there. With my luck he would have gotten in some sort of accident, and then all sorts of complications would ensue. I seem to find the complications in every situation so any chance to avoid them is an opportunity that I jump at.

We pick her up, and Ranise is sufficiently vague about what happened and normally I would interrogate, but my drooping eyes was making my interest wane.

Finally we arrived home......and Ranise was drunk and loud and insanity ensued, but not notable insanity, and finally we went to bed......unfortunately I had Antonio and Ranise in the bed with me so restful was not the word I would use to describe that sleep. But slumber parties are fun! :)

Saturday night......

2005-10-14T21:18:00.000-04:00

Antonio invited Ranise and I to go to a GQ party that he had helped organize with him and Ricardo. Sounds great. Wonderful. Good Times. Ricardo and Antonio picked up Ranise and I, and when we arrived at the place Antonio got out of the car and took Ranise with him, leaving Ricardo and I to park the car. After we parked the car we were supposed to be able to walk up to the entrance of the club, and tell them that we were on the list. We were also not supposed to pay to enter.

The only part of this plan that actually went off the way that it was supposed to was the fact that we parked the car. Ricardo and I got to the front of the club, and were told that we had to wait in the line. These people were not interested in who we were with or what list we were on. Fine. So Antonio told us to come around back. Well the guards in the back entrance didn't want to let us in, even when Antonio came to the entrance. Sooooooooooo.....we proceeded to wait in line for over an hour after they let in hoochie mama after hoochie mama. The hooch was out in full effect that evening. The club was called the Garden of Eden, but a paradise it was not.

Finally Ricardo and I made it to the front after recieving multiple phone calls and text messages telling us to just push our way to the front, and tell them that we were on the list. No one seemed to understand that even if it were possible for us to get to the front of the line they didn't really seem to care who was on what list. We were two guys that didn't have any girls with us. Guys travelling together into a straight club isn't exactly the most desirable patrons to let in the door.

The two of us were frisked, and made it to the woman who was holding the clipboard, and when we tried to tell her what list we were on she simply waved us to the window and told us that she didn't have time to look on the list. What is it that she was doing, other then being annoying, that took up so much of her time that she was unable to look at the list? Oh and in case I forgot to mention this...her job was to look at the list. Maybe she was trying to stand there and look pretty? Trying would be the operative word.

Fine. the woman with the list doesn't want to deal with us so we thought we could tell the woman at the window that we were on a list and supposed to be comped. The woman at the window wasn't interested in a damn word that we had to say. She just kept saying twenty dollars to us. Yes that is how much it cost to get into a club that was hosting A GQ party that we later found out wasn't actually a GQ party. We had all been hoodwinked.

Needless to say Ricardo and I didn't pay the entrance fee. Antonio and Ranise left the bar...things were a bit dramatic for a bit, but all was smooted over and we went onto have a fun evening.

Moral of the story: I will not be returning to the Garden of Eden...the club...I don't know about the biblical one just yet. hehe

A Side Note...

2005-10-14T21:17:00.000-04:00

The last post was supposed to have pictures, but for one reason or antother I can't get them to upload, and I'm sick of sitting here attempting to figure out the answer to a problem that I do not know how to solve so it looks as if in this particular instance my words are going to have to be enough.

The Birthday Continues.....

2005-10-14T21:16:00.000-04:00

Once we had finished causing my temporary blindess at CPK we decided to go to a gay bar in Silver Lake, MJ's. It was an interesting place. There was quite a cross section of guys there, but it had a patio outside so that gave it a thumbs up in my book. I love bars that have outdoor patios, and since this is southern California a bar can have an outdoor patio 365 days a year.

We had managed to head towards the back of the patio when some very drunk man, a man whose name I do not remember, made his way towards us and told us how much he liked Ranise. He was very much into her breasts, but he also thought that I was cute. The man didn't know what the hell he wanted. Not a clue. He was vascillating between me and Ranise, the only problem was that neither one of us were interested. Antonio, however, had the bright idea of telling this man that it was my birthday and that he should give me a birthday kiss. Gross. Gross. Gross. He came in for the kill, and I didn't really know how to react, but I put the ki-bosh on it as quick as possible. He put down his drink on a table next to us, left, came back with another drink, stared at Ranise's breasts some more, then put down his second drink and left. He returned a few minutes later with a beer. I think that he must have forgotten that he had bought those drinks. Antonio then encouraged him to kiss me again, and he decided the best way to do that was to push me up against the wall and stick his tongue down my throat. I had never been so surprised by a kiss in my entire life, and as he attempted to fight me to get his tongue down my throat my eyes were open and I was just looking around wondering if this was really happening?

There then came a series of guys that for the most part I didn't want to kiss, but Antonio could not be dissuaded. There were two guys that I enjoyed kissing....one of them was named Ward and the other was named Scott. But the rest of them just sort of sprung upon me. And yes I could have said no. I don't want to kiss anymore of these guys, but Antonio is nothing if not persistent and he made it his job to go around this bar and make sure that I was going to get my birthday kisses. Not only was he having these guys kiss me, but he was taking pictures of it. It was out of control, but anything that is a good story is always something that is worth doing.

I felt like a kissing whore. Coming down with Mono wouldn't exactly be the most surprising thing to happen to me at this point. Luckily, there were multiple guys who just wanted to kiss me on the cheek, and I was perfectly fine with that. Antonio and Ranise were enraged by the fact that some of these guys would only kiss me on the cheek, and as a matter of fact they deleted most of the pictures of guys kissing me on the cheek. But this is how I look at it. Yes, getting kissed on the cheek may not be the most exciting thing to happen, but it is still better then being devoured alive. Yes, that is a kiss that actually happened. You will see the picture.

Do not judge me for this. I'm not some kind of whore, but my lips were certainly chapped at the end of this evening. :)

I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! :)

2005-10-14T19:28:00.000-04:00

I have been very remiss in keeping up with the blog these days, but I have finally found the time to sit down and write some posts. There are plenty of interesting things that have been happening, and I must continue to regail those of you out in cyberspace with my exploits.

Last Friday was my birthday, and Ranise came to visit which was very exciting. However, earlier in the week a part on my GPS system broke. It is an external part so they can send me a new one since I'm still under warranty, but of course it did not get here in time for my trip to the airport. I was forced to rely on mapquest which is notorious for giving wrong directions, and directing you down streets that do not exist. That's really helpful. Perhaps Mapquest should look into that and oh I don't know...update their system. Maybe get some new maps in there. People are using that site all the time you would think that they would want it to be reliable. I did, but apparently I was wrong. This was my first trip to the airport without my GPS system. Earlier in the week I had been nervous about it, but I had been finding my way around LA for about a week without the damn thing so I wasn't all that concerned anymore. Don't get me wrong i wanted the GPS system, but there was nothing that could be done about it so why dwell. As it turned out I was more then capable of getting to the airport. Keep in mind that I said that I was more then capable of GETTING to the airport. We are not in the homestretch just yet.

Of course when I get to the airport I discover that Ranise's plane is going to be around forty-five minutes late. Are you kidding me? This is when it sucks to be perpetually early because you suffer the consequences of the fact that most of the world is usually running late. Of all places to have to sit around and wait, the airport is probably the last place that anyone would want to be. It is incredibly boring, and the only thing for me to do was smoke. Luckily, we live in the age of cell phones and I was able to catch up on some of my calls.

Ranise finally arrived, and we started on our trip home. This is when things start to get a little hairy. You see when you are trying to follow directions that are incorrect it doesn't matter how many times you drive up and down Sepulveda looking for the entrance to the freeway if the entrance to the freeway isn't on Sepulveda. I mean honestly. Perhaps mapquest could take that into account next time. Perhaps I wouldn't have to spend two and a half to three hours getting home on a trip that should take no more then forty-five minutes or so. I left for the airport at 2:30 or so and I didn't get home until after 8. I was tired. My roommates had already eaten dinner, as I instructed them too because there was no sense in them being hungry just because it was my birthday, and I was beginning to feel light headed I was so hungry. Thankfully when we stopped at the gas station to ask how to get to the freeway Ranse bought some cheetos. Yes, that is the meal of champions. So chock full of nutrients. YUM....processed cheese.

But we still did have to eat! My new LA friends, Antonio and Ricardo, decided that they were going to take me to the California Pizza Kitchen. It was really nice that they wanted to celebrate my birthday with me, especially since I had only known them for a week, but I must admit that it does feel like I have known them for longer then I actually have. So Ricarod came and picked us up and Ranise and I piled in the car on our way to CPK. It was a lovely dinner, until that fateful moment.

Antonio had orderd kung-pow shrimp. This is not a meal that is known for being bland. It is quite spicy as a matter of fact. It is not something that I would ever order even though my tastebuds are finding it easier to tolerate hotter foods these days. I see no reason to put myself throught that when there is a menu that is chock full of things that are delicious and not going to result in me breathing fire. All of our food was quite good, and I had a couple of drinks in me so I was forgetting all about the frustration of my hours and hours in the car. All of a sudden I feel this liquid in my eye.....and then a burning sensation like I had never felt before. It literally felt like someon had dipped my eye into fire and then put it back into its socket. Antonio had been futzing with his shrimp...trying to de-shell it or something, and as he succesfully completed his mission the kung-pow from the shrimp took flight and landed in my eye.

I will admit that I may have been a bit dramatic about it and that might have been the reason why everyone else at the table was at hysterics as I was squirming around in my seat, and continued to be in hysterics when I returned from putting water on my eye in the bathroom. I have been known to be dramatic once or twice in my life....but there was some serious pain that resulted from that stuff in my eye. It is spicy, and not meant to go into one's eyes. Honestly, I think most people would have the same reaction as me. I have no shame in the fact that I was squealing in pain. You try it and then tell me how it feels.

The things that we talk about to entertain ourselves...

2005-10-04T18:00:00.000-04:00

I'm going to post bits of a conversation that I had with a friend over instant messenger. Seriously......we were chatting about these things as if people have these conversations everyday over coffee.....oh how I enjoy the oddities in my personality. I am going to change the screennames to one letter standins to protect the sanctity of our instant messenger accounts. I get enough random ims from people telling me to come and watch them get naked on their webcam. I don't need anymore of those. Seriously. I am B....my very funny friend is A. Enjoy!

B: LA is going to fire me? haha
A: and nyc is going to fire me
A: no i really want to leave
B: new york?
A: yes
A: all of it
A: i want to be a drifter
B: a drifter? that would get old.
A: no
A: fleas yes
A: no respons would beawesome
B: hahahaha. you should find a job where you have to travel a lot.
A: whore
B: whores don't travel all that much. they usually stay confined to where they are.
A: trucker whores
B: they still probably stay at a particular truck stop, and the truckers come to them.
A: no they go from stop to stop
B: really? that seems inefficient.
A: i dunno
B: well perhaps a flight attendant.
B: that seems more reputable.
A: oh thats a good one
B: and probably more profitable.
B: and you would travel, but you could make your home wherever you choose.
A: but i do heart health insurance
A: i do like a cockpit

Later on in the conversation....

A: i cant comitt
A: at least thats what my exs say
B: committing to an endevaear is different then committing to a person.
A: no
B: well to me it is.
A: i only get commited
A: it would be great
B: to be committed?
A: yes
B: i dont think that you would enjoy that so much.
A: why
A: just for a month or two
B: that's a spa or a rehab...not an insane asylum!
A: rehad
B: you don't want to be in a mental hospital.
A: thats what i need
B: no you don't.
B: go to a spa.
A: why not
A: so expensive
B: are you an addict of some sort?
B: so is rehab.
A: yes
A: to work
B: there is no rehab for that.
A: ill start one
B: it would be just as expensive as a spa. just go to a spa.
A: no the state can pay for it
B: why would they do that? every person would be in it.
B: can i put this conversation in my blog?
A: sure
A: man now people nationally are going to know im nuts
A: sweet it will strengthen my case
B: no they won't. they won;t know who you are.
A: They will know
A: wow ihave never been in a blog before
A: its like losing your v-tag all over again

For Real?

2005-09-28T22:29:00.000-04:00

I get so excited when I see a post that has a comment. I love when my friends write funny quips in response to when I write. And I love it when people I don't know are reading my blog and enjoying it. I want as many people to read my blog as possible!

But, am I seriously getting spam comments? I think I am. They seem to pretend to be actual readers who have enjoyed my site, but then below is an advertisement for some website. Thus far I've had one for dog collars...WHAT?!?!?! Dog collars..seriously?

I just saw one for a site about penis enlargements. Spam is everywhere! YOu can't escape it. Are these real people who do this? Why are they doing it? Do they really enjoy my site but want to make some money spreadin words about other sites? I just don't understand. People.....I don't want a penis enlargement, and I don't own a dog.

Which brings me to another thing....I'm always getting these instant messages from random screen names telling me that they loved my profile and want to chat...usually it involves being naked. I don't want to chat with you naked. I know you are some sort of automated comptuer, but I still don't want to chat naked. The ones that crack me up the most involve this automated computer pretending to be some girl named Nikki or something telling me how much she loved me profile and then directing me to a lovely website where I can watch Nikki and her roommates get naked on their webcam. WHAT?!?!?!?!?

What is this profile that they speak? How do I get these instant messages? I'm not going on sorority girl websites or something. Why? Why? Why? The gay man gets spam from women who want to get naked for him....No thank you. I'm going to pass.

Seriously, I get at least one of these a day. How do I make them stop? I don't want CollegeCoEd33333 iming me anymore.

So I lied....it's about Charmed.

2005-09-28T22:15:00.000-04:00

It wasn't so much a lie as it was a miscalculation. The eighth season of Charmed premiered on Sunday night, and I for one couldn't be happier. It was a bit up in the air whether or not the WB was going to renew the show for an eighth season, and while the producers wrapped everything up in a nice little bow it all felt a bit rushed and not very satisfying. I'm glad that they have at least another season to tell the stories of these wacky witches that I oh so adore.

It's hard for me to pick what my favorite show is. But Charmed is definitley in the running. On many of my favorite shows there are characters that I love, and characters that I have very little interest in. I watch them because they are a part of that world, a part of the canvas, but I have no real interest in their storyline as a part of my enjoyment. I can't say that about Charmed. I love each and every character. The actors and actresses are fabulous, and they know what they are making is supposed to be fun. They embrace it, and you can see that. Charmed has always had a good balance of season long arcs as well as stand alone episodes. Plus, who doesn't love Alyssa Milano!

The world thinks that the Halliwell sisters are dead, and that their father is raising Piper's kids. We all know that they faked their deaths and are using magical disguises to have normal lives. Do they really think that that is going to work? They are always trying this and it always fails. For me this show is all about the interaction of the sisters, and the premiere did not disappoint. They were in full banter mode. Personally, I have always liked Charmed Post Shanned Doherty more then with Shannen Doherty. Rose McGowan's Paige is far more interesting to me then Shannen Doherty's Prue.

Paige, of course, is having the hardest time giving up the magical life because her white lighter side had recenty been activated and she constantly has charges calling for help. We all know that Paige would only resist these calls for so long, and she answered the call of a charge of a witch named Billie...who didn't really seem to need her. This was a kick ass witch with a lot of powers, but what seemed like very little experience. She kept rescuing Piper's kids and dad because the underworld was after all of them now that the charmed ones were presumed dead. How she was aware of these attacks is a bit of a mystery. The demons have of course figured out that the Charmed ones may be alive, even with the little show the Charmed ones put on(disguising themselves as Wyatt and basically doing some hardcore vanquishing!)to make sure demons aren't constantly coming after their dad(I say their dad but we of course realize that it is only Piper and Phoebe's dad since Paige is the product of an affair their mother had with her whitelighter-guess that runs in the family Piper!)

The sisters think they put on a good enough show to scare away the underworld, but that is just not going to happen. Piper and Phoebe are going to let Paige explore this white lighter stuff, but don't seem to really want to help. That's a little bitchy if you ask me. And now this new witch, Billie, seems like she is going to become a protege of the Charmed Ones. Does it really seem fair to make this new kid do all the work?

I'm interested to see what Leo is going to do in this new paradigm, and how their dad is going to deal with his larger role in this world now that he must pretend that he is the guardian of the boys. Demons are going to try to kill that man every other week, I say in jest hoping that that does not happen. It would get really old, really fast.

Paige needs some loving...bring back Kerr Smith as her white lighter boyfriend. They had some great chemistry! :)

This could be the last season of Charmed so I hope that they make it a good one. That's not to say I wouldn't be thrilled if they came back for season nine next year. The season premiere was a good start to the season. I'm excited to see where it goes.

If I Could, I Would

2005-09-28T22:03:00.000-04:00

I watch a lot of television, and if I could get a job in which I was paid to watch all the shows that are near and dear to my heart I would be happy as a clam. That is not possible at least at the moment, and that means that I must be productive a large portion of the day. That does not mean that I have any intention of cutting back on my television viewing. It just means that I have to work the television viewing around my scheduel rather then working my scheduel around the television viewing. Plus, it allows me to have a life which is a good thing. I heart television, but I need a life outside of it. If I couldn't be social I would go crazy. I like to be out and about with the peeps.

The invention of the Digital Video Recorder set me free. No more worrying about tapes or setting the VCR each day to record my programs. I could get a season pass to all of my shows and not have to worry about them. At the moment I have Direct TV with TIVO, which means I can record two things at once. Perfect for a TV addict like me who has multiple shows on at the same time. It doesn't so much help with the glut of programming schedueled for Thursdays at 8pm(The OC and Survivor will be fine-those are the two that I'm watching. Alias and Smallville are so going to suffer. I'm doing my best to make sure I get to see Alias every week too, but there is nothing I can do to see Smallville as much as it pains me. Fret not...I will catch Season 5 on DVD...at least I won't have to wait for new episodes when I finally get to watch it.)

My Direct TV TIVO, however, apparently was the one in a thousand that didn't work properly. It has been malfunctioning since August. Every two weeks or so, I say or so because there isn't an exact science to any of this-it just sort of happens, the TIVO reciever loses the signal. Nothing is coming through and it can't record any of the schedueled programs. There is nothnig record. I hadn't missed any important shows or shows that I couldn't catch again, but that feared hovered over me. Everything went as planned this weekend. All of my Sunday night shows TIVOED...I watched them...all of my Monday night shows tivoed....great....then Tuesday morning rolled around. I turned on the television to find that the reciever had lost the signal. It was due to happen. God forbid the problem fix itself and go away. As usual I rebooted the TIVO, but this time I got a message. The damn thing must have thought it was being cute. Across the screen scrolled the words, INVALID ACCESS CARD. I made several phone calls trying to get this fixed and contain my rage. I was so sick of calling these people. SICK OF IT! Finally they realized it could not be fixed and they would have to replace it. HOORAY! One problem...all of the shows on it would be lost. That meant I had to catch up on everything yesterday.

This is not supposed to be a chore. I had to multi-task while I watched the shows, or at least some of them, so I could still be productive that day. Many resumes were sent out. Luckily, they were able to get someone out to my house today so I only went without a TIVO for a day or so. I watched Gilmore Girls last night and will catch Supernatural on the WB's SUnday Easyview. Gotta love Easyview.

Do I sound crazy? I really am not. I just really love my shows, and once I committ to them I hate missing an episode. That is why I love this tecnhnology because it allows me to not be shackled to the television. When it works that is. All seems to be well now. I have a new TIVO that hopefully won't drop the signal, and my social life shall continue to thrive. As much as it can in LA where I know few people. But that is a post for another day!

Until my next rant...which I believe is going to be about the Gilmore Girls.....

How often do I give a movie two thumbs down?

2005-09-28T21:51:00.000-04:00

I'm not exactly known for my discerning taste when it comes to movies. I will see just about anything. Hell I even enjoyed Gigli. Yes, I did and I will stand by that. I have no allusions that it was a masterpiece of cinematic beauty, but I enjoyed it for the bad movie that it was. I make no apologies for this. If you have seen my DVD collection you will realize that I like what I choose to like and I rarely let the opinions of others sway me. I don't buy into movie reviews. I read them, and take them for what they are, but I don't let them influence me either way because I think that we all need to make our own choices in regards to what we value as entertainment since my opinion tends to vary from going along party lines to be a crazy off the wall kook!

This brings me to A History of Violence. It had an excellent trailer. Very intriguing. The moment that I saw the trailer I wanted to see this movie. I hadn't read any reviews for the movie, but from what I heard it was one of the best reviewed movies of the year. The critics were apparently loving it! LOVING IT! Good for them, but I still wanted to make my own opinion.

What was my opinion of this movie? It was not good, I will tell you that. The movie was a complete and utter waste of my time. I like to see every movie that I possibly can so in that regards I have come to terms with the fact that I saw it, but my god. It was violent just for the sake of being violent. The director must have said to himself I want to make a movie that is chock full of gratutious violence so I'm going to fill this movie with death, carnage, and destruction. Oh, annd then I'll throw in a frame or two of the victims of this violence suffering in their last moments...usually with some part of their body blown off. Just for fun! What? Really?

It tried to be funny.....I think. For a large portion of the movie everything was presented as very serious. There was no tinges of humor laced in. There was no dramedy action going on. Then as it progressed and we learned more about Viggo's character and his past very inappropriate jokes were thrown in. The kind of jokes that you aren't even sure if they are jokes. You sort of chuckle uncomfortably at them because you think that they are supposed to be funny, but you're at loss if it is intentional or not.

Mario Bello...Viggo Mortensen.....Ed Harris. These are some superb actors. People who clearly have talent, and in the past have made some very good choices in regards to roles. This was not one of their better choices. I can understand why these people choose to do this movie. It is a little bit different. On paper it probably came across as edgy, a role that they could really sink their teeth into and perhaps get some publicity from. Once they got to the set and started actually acting they must have realized the garbage that they signed up for because it seemed like everyone was just phoning in their performances. Each of them had their moments when their talent really shined. It made the movie a little bit bearable. But for the most part they weren't there. How can I get into the movie if even the stars seem to be unable to committ to the material?

Finally...there was the sex scenes. I'm not going to go into the lurid details, but once again the director of this movie asked himself what could he do to make the sex completely gratuitous. He one hundred percent succeeded with the first sex scene. There was zero need for it. I can see the purpose of the second sex scene, but I didn't find it very enjoyable to watch. It was uncomfortable. Both of them lasted too long. He needed to tighten those scenes up...cut out like a minute and a half from each. Eck!

I don't reccomend this movie, but I understand if you need to make your own opinion. I would still see it after reading this type of review...so go and make your own opinion. If you enjoy it...more power to you!

In My Hurry....

2005-09-28T21:44:00.000-04:00

In my desperate need to get out of the house last week I made a serious miscalculation. It seems that since I have moved to LA I have been more accident prone then usual. When I lived in New York I was always tripping over my own feet or bumping into walls or dropping things, but it never actually caused any actual damage to myself or my belongings. That is not the case here in Los Angeles. Here when I bump into a wall I get a huge bruise...or when I hit the coffee table I get a welt on my leg that is sore for a week and a half and nearly incapicatates me. I broke skin people! Or wait...I drop tweezers on the bathroom floor, bend down to pick them up without really thinking about the return trip to being fully stood up, and hit my head on the open cabinet. I caught the edge. It was not pretty. When I lived on the upper east side with Annie and Leslie I slipped and fell out of the shower without hurting myself. I don't think there was a scratch on me. But what happens when I drop some tweezers...I hit my head and get a bump. I've never had a bump on my head in my life. At least as far as I can remember. My first thought was that I had a concussion, and my second thought was that I was going to have a permanent mark on my head which was actually shaped quite nicely. I didn't want this to mar the shape of my head in case I ever go bald. Let's face it...it runs in the family. Not a day goes by that I don't look in the mirror and inspect the hairline and see if it is thinning in places. Most days I can convince myself that it is thinning, but that is because I am paranoid about the whole thing. I'm not sure if it is actually thinning.

Wow....none of that is even remotely close to what I was going to tell you about. Back on track time. So I was in a hurry to get out of my house, and my complete and utter lack of depth perception managed to convince me that I had enough space to back out of the driveway without taking out my passenger side window. I proceeded to zoom out of the garage. Why? I'm not sure. I had never done that before, but apparently on that day the need for speed was in me. Guess what? The next thing I know I hear this loud crunch, and my window is gone. The car must have gone into shock because the blinkers stopped working as well. All is well and on its way to being fixed. What lesson have I learned from this? Never ever have confidence in my depth perception. It doesn't exist so I shouldn't fool myself into thinking that it does.

I have some funny friends....

2005-09-27T14:05:00.000-04:00

Mind you I am paraphrasing a lot of this, and most of it is from memory so if anyone sees any flaws in any of this then please feel free to tell me and I will immediately put in a revision.

Selda: "We have these homeless men across the street, and it is like they just live there. I've told this to Sara. Our side of the street is definitley the nicer side of the street!"

Sara: "We've never had this conversation.

Cracked me up!

Maria Angela: "I don't do things with my in the name. No My Space, No My Friendster, No My Match."

Brian: "You just made that rule up.

-Maria Angela explaining why she would not join my space, and then erroneously attaching a my to any sort of online network of people.

Janelle, Oh How I Will Miss You!

2005-09-20T01:18:00.000-04:00

Friday's Edition of Big Brother was disappointing. We were down to Ivette, Maggie, and my girl Janelle. Janelle has dominated in this comeptition. I had every faith that she would be able to take the final head of household competition ensuring her place in the final two.

The evening didn't get off to a great start for my girl. Janelle lost the first part of the three part head of household competition. It was all based on an endurance. Janelle put up a good fight, but ultimately it was Ivette who came out victorious. With each passing moment of watching Ivette I grow to dislike her more and more. She has this sense of entitlement that I find disgusting. Who is she to say that she is any more deserving or any more in need of winning the money? I'm not saying that she doesn't need it, but that doesn't mean that others do not as well.

Luckily, this HOH comeptition was three parts, and although winning the first round meant that Ivette got to move ahead to the third round it did not mean that she was out for the count yet. The second part of the competition pitted Janelle against Maggie, and basically it was a puzzle sort of comeptition that tested their knowledge of events that occurred in the Big Brother house. It was a close race, but my girl won allowing her to move ahead to round three.

Ivette and Janelle, enemies throughout the entire competition, were about to decide that fate of the other. This was a do or die situation for Janelle. If she didn't win then she was going to be sent home. Julie Chen asked them six questions in which they had to complete a statement by members of the jury. Things were not looking good for Janelle. At question 5 Ivette was ahead of Janelle meaning Janelle needed to get the final two correct and Ivette had to get the final two wrong. It seemed unlikely, but it happened. Relief washed over me. It went to a tiebreaker. They tied again. A second tiebreaker sealed Janelle's fate, and by a very close margin Ivette won.

Sadly, Janelle was evicted from the Big Brother House and with her a lot of the excitement that I had in me for the finale. It would have been great to watch Janelle win the money. Of course I'm still going to watch the season finale, but it's to see Ivette lose more then to see Maggie win.

What Do You Like? What Are You Thinking?

2005-09-20T01:09:00.000-04:00

I'm an open book. That is why I have no problem putting these thoughts out there for all the world to read. I'm the first person to admit that I have some serious issues when it comes to sex and intimacy. I'm great at being a friend. There is nothing that I know how to do better then be a friend. If I could make a career out of it then I would do that in a heartbeat. I could teach classes on it.

But when it comes to dating I'm not exactly at the head of the class. I have a bit of a problem giving myself over to one person to that degree, and thus I'm a bit repressed when it comes to sex and intimacy. If I don't feel comfortable around a guy then I'm not going to be able to have sex with you let alone stare into your eyes or tell you what it is that is going on in my head. That leads me to the title of this post.

Anytime I have ever hooked up with a guy or dated a guy they have asked me what do I like or what am I thinking. Usually both. When I say what do you like I don't mean foods or television shows or clothes....they are talking about what do I like sexually. It is next to impossible for me to vocalize that sort of thing. I realize that with the right person I should have no trouble voicing these things, but even with the right person I imagine that it would take a lot for me to say such things to a person, and that is why I hate that question. It is as if I become a mute, and mute is not something that I am. I always have something to say or a response to a question. That one stumps me. My brain just refuses to help me out.

The what are you thinking question I'm a litte bit better at. I think the intimacy area is the one where I'm having better luck growing. But I still find it hard to express what I'm thinking in an intimate moment. Although, I was able to put together a few sentences this weekend when asked that question so I'm moving forward in the right direction with my development.

This whole weekend has left me so overly analytical. I need to lighten up a bit I think. Those are some areas that I'm working on so once again to anyone out there who asks me these questions in an intimate moment realize that the answers aren't going to come easily to me. I'm going to need some patience, and God knows that patience is not a quality that many people are blessed with these days. I'm pretty patient most of the time so take a lesson from me. Deep breaths help.

The 3 Day Rule

2005-09-20T00:46:00.000-04:00

My encounter this weekend has left me thinking about a lot of the foibbles that I have, and a lot of the games that are involved with meeting people that are complete and utter nonsense. Dating sucks. Is there any other way to put it? The whole awkward getting to know you and getting to know what the other person wants phase is something that I have no interest in participting in. All it does is give me agita. Let me tell you something: there is rarely an instance when I'm on the same page as someone. I mean I could make a career out of misreading signals. When I think someone likes me is the exact time that they don't like me. Or they do like me and they are just afraid of the wonderful human being that I am. Yes. I think that that is it. They are afraid of the wonder that I could bring into their life. hahahahaha. I just want to skip to the comfortable part of the relationship.

This brings me to a very specific game in the world of dating that I loathe and detest. I'm not kidding I cannot stand this rule. It is so stupid, and it cripples people. Are you thinking to yourself that I'm being dramatic? Does it really cripple people? Yes it cripples people. It keeps you caught in this loop of playing these mind games with people just so you can keep the upper hand, and as I speak these words or write them rather I realize that I have not clued you all in to what it is that I'm talking about. The 3 day rule. Why must people wait three days to call one another? It doesn't make any sense. Someone picked this arbitrary frame of time at some point in the anals of dating history, and now we are all stuck in this loop of forever waiting three days for someone to call without knowing if they don't like us or they do like us and are scared of breaking the rule or they do like us and feel the need to play games. I like board games, I like video games, I DO NOT like dating games.

Let me use this weekend as an example. Ivor said to me that he felt as if their was a vibe going on between us and he wanted to get my phone number. Wonderful! Great! Here is my phone number. This leads me to yet another issue that I have. I hate when people ask for your phone number, and then never use it. Well then why the hell are you asking for it and putting it in your phone? I'm going to finish my story before I continue ranting. I gave Ivor my phone number, but I told him only to take it if he really wanted to call me because quite frankly I am sick of giving people my phone number and then having them never call. It is maddening. He asked me when I could call him, and I responded with whenever he wanted. He could call me the next day if he wanted. If two people like one another then calling the next day is not scary. What's the problem if it is mutual? His thoughts, however, were that he had to wait three days to call. Are you kidding me? He not only plays the game, but he fully admits to playing the game. At least pretend that you don't.

Obviously this is partly about this weekend, but it is larger then that. More important then my encounter this weekend is the larger issues that came to mind from my encounter with Ivor that infuriate me about dating. You don't need to wait three days to call me, don't ask for my phone number if you don't really want it. Oh you know what another one of my favorites is? These guys will also give you their phone number, and on the off chance they pick up when you call they are clearly aggrevated that you have actually dialed their phone number. Pardon me. What a lunatic I am. Actually calling someone who told me to call them? Some people need to get over themselves.

You know what. I'm not going to feel bad or embarassed about any of this nonsense anymore. I'm not a crazy person. I'm a good guy and if I like you there is no reason that I shouldn't let you know that. I'm not going to play the dating games anymore. I'm so retired from that. If all you cute boys out there want to play these games then I suggest that you steer clear of me. I'm just going to be as real and honest as I can possibly be. If it can save us all a little bit of the aggrevation that we encounter each day then I think that it is worth it.

Proofreading Amnesia

2005-09-18T21:12:00.000-04:00

I must apologize for my lack of proofreading in some of these posts as of late. Occasionally I will go back to my site and look over some of the posts that I have written only to discover atrocious errors. Otherwise brillaint sentence and posts are marred by errors or run on sentences that could have been easily fixed.

I make a promise to all my readers here and now: there will be a much more concerted effort to proofread my posts so that the enjoyment that is recieved by them will be at its height. As a show of good faith I'm going to proof-read this post right now. Fingers crossed that I catch all my mistakes.