Apparently I Hooked Up with a Hustler Part II
When we last left our hero he was turning down narcotics from people that he hadn't even known for five hours. Alcohol not being one of the substances that I turned down I was very drunk so when the suggestion to go to a nearby gay bar for their second happy hour was presented(a place I knew nothing about then, but much about now!) I was all over it. No time like the present to see what the local gay bars were like. To my surprise and delight we were able to walk to this bar. It was very close to our apartment building...which was a good idea because if any one of them had suggestted driving I was going to have to not get in the car with them and hide their keys so that they weren't killing people on the road. These people weren't just a little bit buzzed....they were full on toasted.
Walking to the bar it became more then apparent to me that gay man was putting the moves on me. I'm not exactly quick to figure out when someone is interested in me or wants to talk to me, but when some trashed dude is looking to get up on me I can usually figure that one out. Subtle they are not in that state. I'm not saying that in that state I am subtle in the least, but since the thought to hook up with this guy was the farthest thing from my mind I wasn't exactly putting the moves on him. When we were actually at the bar the evening was fairly uneventful other then the fact that they went to the bathroom multiple times. Let's just say that they weren't using the restrooms for their intended purposes. Each time they went they were kind enough to invite me to go along with them, but once again I had to decline because as I said earlier I do not know these people.
We closed out the bar. An impressive feat one would think, but not so much. The bars here close at 2am......and in New York they close at 4am. That has taken some getting used to. I'm usually not thinking about going home at 2am, but all of a sudden the lights were coming up and they were scurrying us out of the bar. Husband and wife and gay man and I began the journey home, and I was plastered at this point. Why I continued to drink while I was at the bar I am unsure, but I foolishly did. Gay man was hanging all over me as we walked home. His ulterior motives were even more crystal clear then they had been earlier in the evening. Husband and wife then decided that it would be a great idea if we all went to their apartment and had more to drink. At this point nearly all of my judgement had gone out the window and that meant that yes I did go with them to have another drink. The intelligent gay man that I am I proceeded to sip that drink for the rest of the evening. You may be asking yourself how much longer this evening could have lasted? Wife decided that it would be a fabulous idea to watch Moulin Rouge. What I should have done is stood up and gone back to my apartment to sleep on the air mattress that I had in my barren room. Instead I sat there and stared at the screen as Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor wove their hypnotic spell transfixing me in a drunken stupor.
Gay man took this opportunity to lie his head in my lap and occasionally glance up at me with glassy looking eyes that one coud mistake for a longing gaze, but is actually what I now realize to be a longing gaze into nothing brought about from an overindulgence of alcohol.....among other things. I coud recap the entire movie for you, but instead I'm just going to fast forward through all of that becaue I don't think that anyone needs to hear me give a synopsis of Moulin Rouge fabulous as it may be. Husband and wife had fallen asleep on either end of the couch, and I remained in the middle with gay man lying on my head. At this point it is like 6 in the morning or something ridiculous like that. What was I still doing there? I should have just gone to bed, but instead I found a hand on the back of my neck pulling me towards gay man's mouth and the next thing I knew we were making out. This lasted for a few moments when I stopped. Now gay man didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with what we were doing, but I was having issues with it for several reasons. First of all I was uncomfortable. He was lying in my lap and I was like bending down and over to reach his mouth. My back was beginning to hurt. It didn't exactly make me want to continue sucking face with him. Secondly, his roommates were alseep on either side of us, and it is one thing to be drunk in a bar and making out in front of people but it is entirely a different matter when someone is macking on you as their two roommates lay passed out on the couch next to you. They could have woken up at any moment, and that would have just been a bit much. I had literaly met these people hours ago, and now I'm making out on their couch. I don't think so.
There were many moments over the course of this evening that I should have just gone to bed, and I finally seized this moment to stand up and inform gay man that I was going to be heading back to my apartment. The moron that I am, however, I informed him that he was more then welcome to come with me, but I was going to be going to sleep. I'm not sure why I told him that he could come with me, but I did mean it when I said I was would be heading to dreamland. Enough was enough.
Back to my empty apartment we go, and into my bedroom onto my air mattress and of course we start to make out. But Mister Gay Man starts to get a little aggressive with me. Some deep kissing starts to happen, and then he got on top of me, and he started to do that weird thing that guys sometimes do. He was putting his hand around me neck as we were making out. I have had this done to me before, and I don't understand. Are you trying to choke the life out of me? Do you think it makes me hot or something? If anyone reads this and is then in a position to make out with me as we are lying down listen up: don't put your hand around my neck. It makes me think you are psychotic and I start to think of ways that I can escape your death grip and run for my life. Of course gay man wanted to have sex. I have nothing against sex. I like sex. But not everything has to be about sex all the time. Not every encounter needs to lead to that, and I was dead serious when I told him that I wanted to go to sleep. I stressed the point to him, and he still wanted to come with me. Fine. It didn't really matter though because I didn't have any condoms and he didn't seem to have any, and besides the fact that it is just plain stupid to have unprotected sex, let alone with someone you don' know, I'm just too neurotic to take a chance like that.
Do you know what he said to me? He said...."Let's risk it." Uhm......no. Let's not. I don't need to have sex with you so badly that I'm going to put my health and safety in danger. Even if I had condoms with me I wouldn't have had sex with him. I got a bit of a skeevy vibe from him, and as we will soon find out I was right on the money with that one. We continued to make out and he continued to try to get me to risk it. I wasn't having any of it, and I think that he was getting frustrated or something because he was getting more aggressive with the making out and I had to physically push him off of me and tell him to calm it down. You may think that you can get me lost in the moment so I will just give into you, but I don't really get into such states of wild abandon that I do something I would never do otherwise. What was his brilliant suggestion as an alternative to having sex? Lie naked next to one another.
Do I have a tattoo on my forehead that says fool? moron? gullible? Did he really believe that I thought he was serious when he said we should just lie naked next to one another? If he did he was the moron, because I was having none of it. Finally I just went to sleep, and he took the cue and did the same. I had to shoo him away when I finally woke up at 1pm. I had things to do. How is he a hustler you may be asking yourself at this very moment?
Your just going to have to wait for the epilogue to this little story. :)
(Fingers crossed that epilogue is the right word I am looking for. I'm like ninety-eight percent sure that it is correct, but there is that small bit of doubt in the back of my head. I shall erase the doubt and embrace my certainity)
Walking to the bar it became more then apparent to me that gay man was putting the moves on me. I'm not exactly quick to figure out when someone is interested in me or wants to talk to me, but when some trashed dude is looking to get up on me I can usually figure that one out. Subtle they are not in that state. I'm not saying that in that state I am subtle in the least, but since the thought to hook up with this guy was the farthest thing from my mind I wasn't exactly putting the moves on him. When we were actually at the bar the evening was fairly uneventful other then the fact that they went to the bathroom multiple times. Let's just say that they weren't using the restrooms for their intended purposes. Each time they went they were kind enough to invite me to go along with them, but once again I had to decline because as I said earlier I do not know these people.
We closed out the bar. An impressive feat one would think, but not so much. The bars here close at 2am......and in New York they close at 4am. That has taken some getting used to. I'm usually not thinking about going home at 2am, but all of a sudden the lights were coming up and they were scurrying us out of the bar. Husband and wife and gay man and I began the journey home, and I was plastered at this point. Why I continued to drink while I was at the bar I am unsure, but I foolishly did. Gay man was hanging all over me as we walked home. His ulterior motives were even more crystal clear then they had been earlier in the evening. Husband and wife then decided that it would be a great idea if we all went to their apartment and had more to drink. At this point nearly all of my judgement had gone out the window and that meant that yes I did go with them to have another drink. The intelligent gay man that I am I proceeded to sip that drink for the rest of the evening. You may be asking yourself how much longer this evening could have lasted? Wife decided that it would be a fabulous idea to watch Moulin Rouge. What I should have done is stood up and gone back to my apartment to sleep on the air mattress that I had in my barren room. Instead I sat there and stared at the screen as Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor wove their hypnotic spell transfixing me in a drunken stupor.
Gay man took this opportunity to lie his head in my lap and occasionally glance up at me with glassy looking eyes that one coud mistake for a longing gaze, but is actually what I now realize to be a longing gaze into nothing brought about from an overindulgence of alcohol.....among other things. I coud recap the entire movie for you, but instead I'm just going to fast forward through all of that becaue I don't think that anyone needs to hear me give a synopsis of Moulin Rouge fabulous as it may be. Husband and wife had fallen asleep on either end of the couch, and I remained in the middle with gay man lying on my head. At this point it is like 6 in the morning or something ridiculous like that. What was I still doing there? I should have just gone to bed, but instead I found a hand on the back of my neck pulling me towards gay man's mouth and the next thing I knew we were making out. This lasted for a few moments when I stopped. Now gay man didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with what we were doing, but I was having issues with it for several reasons. First of all I was uncomfortable. He was lying in my lap and I was like bending down and over to reach his mouth. My back was beginning to hurt. It didn't exactly make me want to continue sucking face with him. Secondly, his roommates were alseep on either side of us, and it is one thing to be drunk in a bar and making out in front of people but it is entirely a different matter when someone is macking on you as their two roommates lay passed out on the couch next to you. They could have woken up at any moment, and that would have just been a bit much. I had literaly met these people hours ago, and now I'm making out on their couch. I don't think so.
There were many moments over the course of this evening that I should have just gone to bed, and I finally seized this moment to stand up and inform gay man that I was going to be heading back to my apartment. The moron that I am, however, I informed him that he was more then welcome to come with me, but I was going to be going to sleep. I'm not sure why I told him that he could come with me, but I did mean it when I said I was would be heading to dreamland. Enough was enough.
Back to my empty apartment we go, and into my bedroom onto my air mattress and of course we start to make out. But Mister Gay Man starts to get a little aggressive with me. Some deep kissing starts to happen, and then he got on top of me, and he started to do that weird thing that guys sometimes do. He was putting his hand around me neck as we were making out. I have had this done to me before, and I don't understand. Are you trying to choke the life out of me? Do you think it makes me hot or something? If anyone reads this and is then in a position to make out with me as we are lying down listen up: don't put your hand around my neck. It makes me think you are psychotic and I start to think of ways that I can escape your death grip and run for my life. Of course gay man wanted to have sex. I have nothing against sex. I like sex. But not everything has to be about sex all the time. Not every encounter needs to lead to that, and I was dead serious when I told him that I wanted to go to sleep. I stressed the point to him, and he still wanted to come with me. Fine. It didn't really matter though because I didn't have any condoms and he didn't seem to have any, and besides the fact that it is just plain stupid to have unprotected sex, let alone with someone you don' know, I'm just too neurotic to take a chance like that.
Do you know what he said to me? He said...."Let's risk it." Uhm......no. Let's not. I don't need to have sex with you so badly that I'm going to put my health and safety in danger. Even if I had condoms with me I wouldn't have had sex with him. I got a bit of a skeevy vibe from him, and as we will soon find out I was right on the money with that one. We continued to make out and he continued to try to get me to risk it. I wasn't having any of it, and I think that he was getting frustrated or something because he was getting more aggressive with the making out and I had to physically push him off of me and tell him to calm it down. You may think that you can get me lost in the moment so I will just give into you, but I don't really get into such states of wild abandon that I do something I would never do otherwise. What was his brilliant suggestion as an alternative to having sex? Lie naked next to one another.
Do I have a tattoo on my forehead that says fool? moron? gullible? Did he really believe that I thought he was serious when he said we should just lie naked next to one another? If he did he was the moron, because I was having none of it. Finally I just went to sleep, and he took the cue and did the same. I had to shoo him away when I finally woke up at 1pm. I had things to do. How is he a hustler you may be asking yourself at this very moment?
Your just going to have to wait for the epilogue to this little story. :)
(Fingers crossed that epilogue is the right word I am looking for. I'm like ninety-eight percent sure that it is correct, but there is that small bit of doubt in the back of my head. I shall erase the doubt and embrace my certainity)
posted by Unknown @ 4:19 PM
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