It's A Little Thing that I like to Call Getting a Grip
There are people who are reading these blogs that come from all different aspects of my life, and thus people have known me for different lengths of time, and there are plenty of stories in my life that many don't know simply because they were not there, and since their is comedic value to be mined out of these stories I thought that I would tell a couple of them to you.
Yes, the title of this entry is referring to myself because there are times when I need to get a God damn grip. I mean seriously. This story that I am about to tell you actually happened over a year ago. About two weeks after my 25th birthday, I was hanging out with my friend Ranise. It was a sunday night, and she decided that she wanted to go to Starlight. On Sunday night Starlight has a lesbian night, and that is precisely why she wanted to go. Ranise has this fascination with wanting to be a lesbian, and thus has on more then one occassion has gone to a sunday night at starlight with me in tow. But I know that she likes her the men too much to actually be a lesbian. This was the first sunday that we went. Starlight is still a gay bar even if it has a focus on lesbians on sunday nights. There are still gay men there, but on this particular Sunday night I don't think I really felt like going out. I looked as bad as I could possibly look in clothes that were as ugly as ugly could possibly be. I think I had been running around all day because I most definitley had a bag with me. I was in no condition to be going out, but it isn't exactly hard to convince me to go out for a drink, but I agreed since I figured while there would probably be guys at starlight there would be far more girls and the liklihood of me seeing anyone that I thought was cute would be next to nothing.
Have I learned nothing? Whenever these sorts of circumstances and conditions conspire to come together, exactly what you have convinced yourself is not going to happen is going to happen. We hadn't even been in that bar for ten minutes when I saw Kyle. He was about my height....average build...short dark hair. There was nothing particularly special about him, but he must have been giving off pheremones or something because I found myself wildly attracted to him. I can never really tell if a guy is interested in me. I thought that he was looking at me, but I wasn't exactly sure. I kept trying to make eye contact while avoiding making eye contact. How does one do that? I have no idea. I'm sick in the head.
I was standing in the corner, and I was getting more and more convinced that this guy was definitley checking me out, and I gave him enough looks so that he knew that I too was looking at him, but he wasn't coming over to me. I hate making the first move. There is nothing that I hate more then having to go over to a guy and start a conversation. All of that meeting and beginning stuff is probably my least favorite part of the dating game, and of course it is about as far as I have gotten lately. In this particular case, I wasn't quite ready to make the move so I though that I would enlist Ranise in the matter, and have her see if she thought that he was looking at me. Unable to be subtle, she made a spectacle of the situation and then decided that he was probably looking at the guy behind me. That's what friends are for(she was wrong incidentally).....I think I said something like damn you, and then went and sat on the other side of the bar with my back to Kyle so that Ranise could see if hsi eyes stayed where they had been or moved with me. Well he moved. He came over and stood by us for a few minutes, and then walked away. Damn him again for not making the move.
I then drag Ranise to the back of the bar so that we can stand against the wall that was opposite the bar where he was standing. Ranise decided to tell me that if I didn't go and talk to him I would probably get hit by a bus and die. I mean I think that girl should be a motivational speaker. I continued to look at Kyle, but bicker with her over the nonsensical comment that she had made, and then in a wave of confidence just walked towards Kyle and introduced myself. We talked for a while, and yes I of course found him to be even cuter when I started to talk to him. Another one of his friend's arrived, and he said that he watned to talk to her, but for me to not leave. So I went back to Ranise, and we discussed what had just transpired when Kyle came over to talk to us. It seemed like he was into me, but I didn't think that he was going to actually comeback. But he did, and started to talk to me and Ranise. And then he was just talking to Ranise who was monopolizing the conversation. I gritted my teeth and politely laughed at things that were said, but all the while I was stepping on her foot harder and harder because although she was getting the message she refused to wrap up the conversation. Finally she kicked me and I had to stop. Kyle apparently was oblivious to the whole thing, although how he could have been I am not sure. I should have taken that as a sign that he was into no one but himself.
Finally, Ranise left. And then Kyle and I left shortly after that. We made out on the street a bit, and then got in a cab and went back to my apartment. I realize that I have a bit of a pattern, that is not the point. Then he made some off color remark about having left his travel book in his friend's car. Like most people, after hearing a vague comment about travel I asked where it was that he was going. Apparently he was going to go to South America for six months, and then come back to the city for medical school. I am not one hundred percent certain, and at the time I did not consider this for no other reason then I am a fool, but I'm pretty sure that he was making that up. I think he just wanted to make sure that he couldn't really get into anything serious with me. He just wanted me to put out by making me think that he liked me. The oldest trick in the book! We then passed a brownstone in the cab, and he told me that when he was a rich doctor he wanted to buy it for us and take care of me. What? Laying it on a little thick, buddy. You see, though, this was before the whole getting a grip thing...and I had a few drinks in me......and I liked the thought of having a boyfriend...so I fell for that line. Yes, I admit it. I am laying it all out there.
There was something about this guy that I found to be intoxicating so I slept with him, and no I am not talking about slumber. The next morning he rushed out of the apartment, and I do not think that he was going to volunteer his phone number, but when I suggested that we exchange phone numbers he was like oh of course, but then said he thought that we should write them down because he didn't like to put phone numbers in his phone. Now, even I though that this was a little ridiculous. It was in that moment that I started to think that there was something fishy about this guy. But I wrote down the number nonetheless......and when he left I managed to convince myself that it was just a quirky little thing that he had. Weeks later I managed to convince myself that i am a moron for believing that.
I think that that would have been the end of my daliance with Kyle, but he had left his watch at my apartment. Yes....yes I did. I called him a few times, and he blew me off. and blew me off some more. Me, being nice to the point of stupidity, wanted to give him the damn watch back against the advice of many a friend who suggested that I smash it. I don't think I have quite the flair for the dramatic that it takes to actually do that, but considering the turn that this story takes I think that I might......
Yes, the title of this entry is referring to myself because there are times when I need to get a God damn grip. I mean seriously. This story that I am about to tell you actually happened over a year ago. About two weeks after my 25th birthday, I was hanging out with my friend Ranise. It was a sunday night, and she decided that she wanted to go to Starlight. On Sunday night Starlight has a lesbian night, and that is precisely why she wanted to go. Ranise has this fascination with wanting to be a lesbian, and thus has on more then one occassion has gone to a sunday night at starlight with me in tow. But I know that she likes her the men too much to actually be a lesbian. This was the first sunday that we went. Starlight is still a gay bar even if it has a focus on lesbians on sunday nights. There are still gay men there, but on this particular Sunday night I don't think I really felt like going out. I looked as bad as I could possibly look in clothes that were as ugly as ugly could possibly be. I think I had been running around all day because I most definitley had a bag with me. I was in no condition to be going out, but it isn't exactly hard to convince me to go out for a drink, but I agreed since I figured while there would probably be guys at starlight there would be far more girls and the liklihood of me seeing anyone that I thought was cute would be next to nothing.
Have I learned nothing? Whenever these sorts of circumstances and conditions conspire to come together, exactly what you have convinced yourself is not going to happen is going to happen. We hadn't even been in that bar for ten minutes when I saw Kyle. He was about my height....average build...short dark hair. There was nothing particularly special about him, but he must have been giving off pheremones or something because I found myself wildly attracted to him. I can never really tell if a guy is interested in me. I thought that he was looking at me, but I wasn't exactly sure. I kept trying to make eye contact while avoiding making eye contact. How does one do that? I have no idea. I'm sick in the head.
I was standing in the corner, and I was getting more and more convinced that this guy was definitley checking me out, and I gave him enough looks so that he knew that I too was looking at him, but he wasn't coming over to me. I hate making the first move. There is nothing that I hate more then having to go over to a guy and start a conversation. All of that meeting and beginning stuff is probably my least favorite part of the dating game, and of course it is about as far as I have gotten lately. In this particular case, I wasn't quite ready to make the move so I though that I would enlist Ranise in the matter, and have her see if she thought that he was looking at me. Unable to be subtle, she made a spectacle of the situation and then decided that he was probably looking at the guy behind me. That's what friends are for(she was wrong incidentally).....I think I said something like damn you, and then went and sat on the other side of the bar with my back to Kyle so that Ranise could see if hsi eyes stayed where they had been or moved with me. Well he moved. He came over and stood by us for a few minutes, and then walked away. Damn him again for not making the move.
I then drag Ranise to the back of the bar so that we can stand against the wall that was opposite the bar where he was standing. Ranise decided to tell me that if I didn't go and talk to him I would probably get hit by a bus and die. I mean I think that girl should be a motivational speaker. I continued to look at Kyle, but bicker with her over the nonsensical comment that she had made, and then in a wave of confidence just walked towards Kyle and introduced myself. We talked for a while, and yes I of course found him to be even cuter when I started to talk to him. Another one of his friend's arrived, and he said that he watned to talk to her, but for me to not leave. So I went back to Ranise, and we discussed what had just transpired when Kyle came over to talk to us. It seemed like he was into me, but I didn't think that he was going to actually comeback. But he did, and started to talk to me and Ranise. And then he was just talking to Ranise who was monopolizing the conversation. I gritted my teeth and politely laughed at things that were said, but all the while I was stepping on her foot harder and harder because although she was getting the message she refused to wrap up the conversation. Finally she kicked me and I had to stop. Kyle apparently was oblivious to the whole thing, although how he could have been I am not sure. I should have taken that as a sign that he was into no one but himself.
Finally, Ranise left. And then Kyle and I left shortly after that. We made out on the street a bit, and then got in a cab and went back to my apartment. I realize that I have a bit of a pattern, that is not the point. Then he made some off color remark about having left his travel book in his friend's car. Like most people, after hearing a vague comment about travel I asked where it was that he was going. Apparently he was going to go to South America for six months, and then come back to the city for medical school. I am not one hundred percent certain, and at the time I did not consider this for no other reason then I am a fool, but I'm pretty sure that he was making that up. I think he just wanted to make sure that he couldn't really get into anything serious with me. He just wanted me to put out by making me think that he liked me. The oldest trick in the book! We then passed a brownstone in the cab, and he told me that when he was a rich doctor he wanted to buy it for us and take care of me. What? Laying it on a little thick, buddy. You see, though, this was before the whole getting a grip thing...and I had a few drinks in me......and I liked the thought of having a boyfriend...so I fell for that line. Yes, I admit it. I am laying it all out there.
There was something about this guy that I found to be intoxicating so I slept with him, and no I am not talking about slumber. The next morning he rushed out of the apartment, and I do not think that he was going to volunteer his phone number, but when I suggested that we exchange phone numbers he was like oh of course, but then said he thought that we should write them down because he didn't like to put phone numbers in his phone. Now, even I though that this was a little ridiculous. It was in that moment that I started to think that there was something fishy about this guy. But I wrote down the number nonetheless......and when he left I managed to convince myself that it was just a quirky little thing that he had. Weeks later I managed to convince myself that i am a moron for believing that.
I think that that would have been the end of my daliance with Kyle, but he had left his watch at my apartment. Yes....yes I did. I called him a few times, and he blew me off. and blew me off some more. Me, being nice to the point of stupidity, wanted to give him the damn watch back against the advice of many a friend who suggested that I smash it. I don't think I have quite the flair for the dramatic that it takes to actually do that, but considering the turn that this story takes I think that I might......
posted by Unknown @ 3:12 PM
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