Do straight guys like to kiss a girl when she is wearing lip gloss?
You may have picked up on the subtle hints that I have been giving, but in case you missed it let me just tell you that I am gay. For the most part that means that the people that I date aren't wearing makeup. I am by no means the most masculine guy you are ever going to meet, but there are droves of gay men in the world who are far more feminine then I, and a lot of them wear makeup. Personally, a guy who wears makeup isn't all that atrractive to me.
I want to date a guy, and as effeminate as I may be a guy wearing makeup is a turn off to me. I don't dig it. Once the makeup comes out the odds are that me and the guy are going to be nothig more then friends, but sometimes caution is thrown to the wind and you try something new. Let me just make an observation here: when someone says that they are going to throw caution to the wind, and on many occasion that someone has been me...I'm all about throwing caution to the wind when I have thrown back a couple of vodka tonics.....but as I was saying, when someone says that they are going to throw caution to the wind the wind usually carries the caution right back to them to slap them in the face. Being daring hasn't really worked that well for me, and yet life would not be exciting if we weren't daring, and thus I continue on my adventures. At the very least they give me a lot of funny stories to report back here on my blog.
So last Tuesday evening, I went out with Elle to get some drinks, and ultimately we wound up at Fiesta. Later in the week, I was hanging out with Elle again and I turned to her and told her that it seemed that she was my good luck charm. I always seemed to meet a guy when I was with her. She corrected that statement and replaced herself with Fiesta, because it seems that every time I am there I meet someone. Granted, the two times that I was there with Elle I did meet someone, but I'm inclined to believe the theory that it is indeed Fiesta, and not Elle, that brings the men to me. Look back at my track record...look back at this blog...how many times has a story started off with me going to Fiesta and ended with me wanting to shoo some guy out of my apartment because he was spitting water on my foot or claiming to have a stomach ache. Actually, if we look back at the guys that I met at Fiesta would it really be appropriate to call it a good luck charm? I think a bad luck charm would be a more accurate description, perhaps a plague upon my love life. I only meet people who seemed to have been dropped on their head one too many times as a baby there. I mean, honestly, where did I find these guys. Truth be told more often then not I just go with the flow, and after the evening has ended I tell myself I should have listened to my first instinct and just went home and caught up on General Hospital. Now there is something that never lets me down.
I have strayed very far from my story, but we shall now return to Fiesta. Elle and I were sitting there having drinks when she saw this very well dressed guy sitting next to us, and turned to me and asked if he was on tv. I had never seen the guy in my life so it was a pretty safe bet that he was in fact not on television. Elle being the friendly girl that she is decided to talk to him and find out where she knew him, and can you even guess why he looked familair to her? I don't think that you can. Literally it is one of the more random things that I have heard in my life. He waxed her eyebrows a couple of time. Not to give anything from my story away, but it seems as if I am making a habit of hooking up with the people that are responsible or are going to be responsible or want to be responsible for the hair and beauty treatments that Elle under goes. Is that some sort of new weird fetish that I just made up? As far as fetishes go, I think it would be pretty tame. I also don't think I could get very far with it.
What really started me showing any interest in Armond the eye waxer was the fact that he seemed to show interest in me. I think I have to just admit that I like attention. I probably crave it on some level, because the moment that some guy seems to have an interest in me I will just go along with where the night takes me even if I knew I wasn't going to like him. Yeah I need to learn to not to do that. Armond told me that I looked like Justin Timberlake from the side. I do not know where people come up with this stuff. I do not look like Justin Timberlake from the side nor do I look like Heath Ledger. I got that one too recently. Has anyone seen what those two men look like? As much as I would like to be some sort of hybrid, Ledgirlake if you will, there is no way that I look like either one. Hands down no way. But if someone wants to say it to me that doesn't mean that I won't go along with it.
Frankly, the rest of the evening was less then noteworthy. It was enjoyable, more because I was hanging out with Elle then Armond but he was a very nice guy, There were more drinks and dinner, but frankly if I took you through every step of the evening I think that you would just fall asleep. Setting the scene is one thing, but taking you through the minutae that you just don't need is something completely different. So I fast forward to the end of dinner when Armond asks me if I want to go back to his apartment to watch a movie. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Watch a movie. If you do not know by the age of 15 years old that being invited to someone's house to watch a movie is code for let's hook up then someone needs to give you the guide book. I knew exactly what he wanted, and even in that moment I was so into it but I went along with it anyway. Seriously, I need someone to like hit me on the hand and say no when I do these things. I may need to be conditioned like Pavlov's dogs.
We went to the video store that was by his apartment, which thankfully was walking distance from Fiesta...or is it not so thankfully. The fact that it was walking distance was a major factor in my affirmative answer. If I had had to go through the effort of getting into a car with him I don't think that I would have accepted the invitation. Damn West Hollywood and its oh so convenient apartment to bar proximity. Armond decided to rent In Her Shoes and Just Like Heaven. Two movies that I own and immensely enjoy, and already I was more excited about the movies then I was about going home with Armond. When a gay man is more interested in spending an evening with Toni Collete, Cameron Diaz, and Shirley McClaine instead of a cute boy that wants to hook up then you know the spark is not there. Hell it will never be there. I think I would have been more attracted to Shirley McClaine. Fine that is a lie, but my point is made.
We went back to his apartment, and he started In Her Shoes. I knew that we weren't going to make it very far into the movie before he made a move on me, but I thought that if I just watched the movie and only gave him the occasional glance he would get the idea that the more I was allowed to think about the situation and the less that the vodka was helping me do the thinking the more I wanted to not be there. Wrong. I don't even think Cameron Diaz had found her job at the dog washing place by the time Armond was on top of me. Yes, he climbed on top of me, moved in for the kill, and I just let my lips take over.......and then I hit reverse. His lips were slathered in lip gloss. It felt like I was kissing something very gooey. I don't like moistness or stickiness or any of that sort of thing so my lips being met with what felt like slime was not fun for me. Any inclination I had to even give this a try was lost. Armond could see that the lip gloss was completely repulsing me so he went to wipe it off, but by that point it was too late. I tried to get back into it, but I had never really been in the zone so I had to bring it to an end and make a retreat. Yes, I disappointed Armond, but better that then lead him on.
This brings me back to my original question of straight guys and lip gloss. Is it that I am just unaccustomed to kissing someone who has product on their lips, and since most of my early kisses were with boys I never got the experience. Is that since I am gay I expect to get lips that are product free, and straight men have a mechanism that prepares them for the onslaught of gook. I don't know. All I know is that the next guy who likes me and wears lips gloss is going to have to be immediately let down, because I just don't think it is very nice to kiss someone and then immediately wipe my lips because I hate the sensation of anything on them. I'm talking I don't even like to use chapstick because I find it to be icky. Yes people.....if I don't want chapstick on my lips, then Sephora lip gloss for women on a man is out of the question.
I want to date a guy, and as effeminate as I may be a guy wearing makeup is a turn off to me. I don't dig it. Once the makeup comes out the odds are that me and the guy are going to be nothig more then friends, but sometimes caution is thrown to the wind and you try something new. Let me just make an observation here: when someone says that they are going to throw caution to the wind, and on many occasion that someone has been me...I'm all about throwing caution to the wind when I have thrown back a couple of vodka tonics.....but as I was saying, when someone says that they are going to throw caution to the wind the wind usually carries the caution right back to them to slap them in the face. Being daring hasn't really worked that well for me, and yet life would not be exciting if we weren't daring, and thus I continue on my adventures. At the very least they give me a lot of funny stories to report back here on my blog.
So last Tuesday evening, I went out with Elle to get some drinks, and ultimately we wound up at Fiesta. Later in the week, I was hanging out with Elle again and I turned to her and told her that it seemed that she was my good luck charm. I always seemed to meet a guy when I was with her. She corrected that statement and replaced herself with Fiesta, because it seems that every time I am there I meet someone. Granted, the two times that I was there with Elle I did meet someone, but I'm inclined to believe the theory that it is indeed Fiesta, and not Elle, that brings the men to me. Look back at my track record...look back at this blog...how many times has a story started off with me going to Fiesta and ended with me wanting to shoo some guy out of my apartment because he was spitting water on my foot or claiming to have a stomach ache. Actually, if we look back at the guys that I met at Fiesta would it really be appropriate to call it a good luck charm? I think a bad luck charm would be a more accurate description, perhaps a plague upon my love life. I only meet people who seemed to have been dropped on their head one too many times as a baby there. I mean, honestly, where did I find these guys. Truth be told more often then not I just go with the flow, and after the evening has ended I tell myself I should have listened to my first instinct and just went home and caught up on General Hospital. Now there is something that never lets me down.
I have strayed very far from my story, but we shall now return to Fiesta. Elle and I were sitting there having drinks when she saw this very well dressed guy sitting next to us, and turned to me and asked if he was on tv. I had never seen the guy in my life so it was a pretty safe bet that he was in fact not on television. Elle being the friendly girl that she is decided to talk to him and find out where she knew him, and can you even guess why he looked familair to her? I don't think that you can. Literally it is one of the more random things that I have heard in my life. He waxed her eyebrows a couple of time. Not to give anything from my story away, but it seems as if I am making a habit of hooking up with the people that are responsible or are going to be responsible or want to be responsible for the hair and beauty treatments that Elle under goes. Is that some sort of new weird fetish that I just made up? As far as fetishes go, I think it would be pretty tame. I also don't think I could get very far with it.
What really started me showing any interest in Armond the eye waxer was the fact that he seemed to show interest in me. I think I have to just admit that I like attention. I probably crave it on some level, because the moment that some guy seems to have an interest in me I will just go along with where the night takes me even if I knew I wasn't going to like him. Yeah I need to learn to not to do that. Armond told me that I looked like Justin Timberlake from the side. I do not know where people come up with this stuff. I do not look like Justin Timberlake from the side nor do I look like Heath Ledger. I got that one too recently. Has anyone seen what those two men look like? As much as I would like to be some sort of hybrid, Ledgirlake if you will, there is no way that I look like either one. Hands down no way. But if someone wants to say it to me that doesn't mean that I won't go along with it.
Frankly, the rest of the evening was less then noteworthy. It was enjoyable, more because I was hanging out with Elle then Armond but he was a very nice guy, There were more drinks and dinner, but frankly if I took you through every step of the evening I think that you would just fall asleep. Setting the scene is one thing, but taking you through the minutae that you just don't need is something completely different. So I fast forward to the end of dinner when Armond asks me if I want to go back to his apartment to watch a movie. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Watch a movie. If you do not know by the age of 15 years old that being invited to someone's house to watch a movie is code for let's hook up then someone needs to give you the guide book. I knew exactly what he wanted, and even in that moment I was so into it but I went along with it anyway. Seriously, I need someone to like hit me on the hand and say no when I do these things. I may need to be conditioned like Pavlov's dogs.
We went to the video store that was by his apartment, which thankfully was walking distance from Fiesta...or is it not so thankfully. The fact that it was walking distance was a major factor in my affirmative answer. If I had had to go through the effort of getting into a car with him I don't think that I would have accepted the invitation. Damn West Hollywood and its oh so convenient apartment to bar proximity. Armond decided to rent In Her Shoes and Just Like Heaven. Two movies that I own and immensely enjoy, and already I was more excited about the movies then I was about going home with Armond. When a gay man is more interested in spending an evening with Toni Collete, Cameron Diaz, and Shirley McClaine instead of a cute boy that wants to hook up then you know the spark is not there. Hell it will never be there. I think I would have been more attracted to Shirley McClaine. Fine that is a lie, but my point is made.
We went back to his apartment, and he started In Her Shoes. I knew that we weren't going to make it very far into the movie before he made a move on me, but I thought that if I just watched the movie and only gave him the occasional glance he would get the idea that the more I was allowed to think about the situation and the less that the vodka was helping me do the thinking the more I wanted to not be there. Wrong. I don't even think Cameron Diaz had found her job at the dog washing place by the time Armond was on top of me. Yes, he climbed on top of me, moved in for the kill, and I just let my lips take over.......and then I hit reverse. His lips were slathered in lip gloss. It felt like I was kissing something very gooey. I don't like moistness or stickiness or any of that sort of thing so my lips being met with what felt like slime was not fun for me. Any inclination I had to even give this a try was lost. Armond could see that the lip gloss was completely repulsing me so he went to wipe it off, but by that point it was too late. I tried to get back into it, but I had never really been in the zone so I had to bring it to an end and make a retreat. Yes, I disappointed Armond, but better that then lead him on.
This brings me back to my original question of straight guys and lip gloss. Is it that I am just unaccustomed to kissing someone who has product on their lips, and since most of my early kisses were with boys I never got the experience. Is that since I am gay I expect to get lips that are product free, and straight men have a mechanism that prepares them for the onslaught of gook. I don't know. All I know is that the next guy who likes me and wears lips gloss is going to have to be immediately let down, because I just don't think it is very nice to kiss someone and then immediately wipe my lips because I hate the sensation of anything on them. I'm talking I don't even like to use chapstick because I find it to be icky. Yes people.....if I don't want chapstick on my lips, then Sephora lip gloss for women on a man is out of the question.
posted by Unknown @ 5:04 PM
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