Can I Blame It All on the Fact that I hit my head?
The day started out normal enough. I got to sleep in since it was Saturday which meant I didn't have to get up at 6am to go to Barry's. The roommates headed out to hit the Grove, and I stayed at home to get some things together for the grad school application that I am sending out. Always one to go to a movie, I jumped at the chance to go see the Brothers Grimm when Tara called me to ask if I was at all interested. It left me with a couple of hours to shower and finish getting everything together to send out. I jumped in the shower and shaved.
That is when it happen. I dropped my razor on the ground. I bent down to pick it up, and when I rose to continue shaving I hit my head on the bottom of the corner of the cabinet that hangs in my bathroom. The fool that I am I left the cabinet door open leaving it wide open for the damn thing to mount a sneak attack. It hurt so much that I yelped, and then went to lie down on my bed because I was scared that I might pass out and I thought that if I were to pass out it would be better if it happened on my bed rather then on my feet in a bathroom full of porclein turning a simple bump in the head to me cracking my head open on the toilet. Nope...I'm not a hypochondriac at all.
I thought everything was fine, but it wasn't until I got to Kinko's that I realized that I had a small bump on my head. Two things came to my mind: 1. Would this small bump become a permanent fixture on my head or leave some sort of indent thus ensuring I wouldn't be able to do the whole shaved head thing again....up until that moment I had a wonderfully shaped head. This could not be. 2. Could I have a concussion? Was I got to fall asleep and never wake up?
Of course the answer was that I didn't have a concussion. Through research on various fronts I discoverd that I would need to be sleepy, nauseaous, or throwing up. YAY! No concussion and apparently the bump would go away. I took some ibuprofen, iced it a bit, and then headed to the movies.
Let's fast forward to much later. Say a 11pm. Tara, Stephanie, and I had decided to go to Fiesta, a local gay bar down the street from our apartment, with our wacky and wild neighbors. Every night of the week they have two happy hours. Yes two happy hours. As if the gays need another excuse to drink. 6:30 to 8:30 and 10:30 to 12:30. 2 for 1 drinks! 2 for 1 drinks! 2 for 1 drinks!
I went into the bar, and of course immediately went to get a drink. You've got to love any place you can get a double vodka tonic for the price of one. I went back towards Tara and Stephanie who were standing with a couple of our neighbors, and as I situated myself next to Tara and Stephanie I felt an arm wrap around me and I was dragged over to a table. What the hell? Who is this man who is just grabbing me? Apparently his was John, and he had coincidentally met Carin, one of my neighbors, earlier that night and he was extremely intoxicated. He was unable to answer a question speaking nothing but gibberish intoxicated. But he was sort of cute so I talked to him for a bit. It was difficult, however, because I couldn't make out a word he was saying, and then Carin got up to go do God knows what so I was left sitting there with this man alone. He proceeded to grab my hands, and look at them as if he was going to read my palm. Being the clever one that I think that I am I asked what he saw in my future. He told me that I was a republican and I was going to die. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. What does that even mean? He had met other Republicans that night as well. Great. Good for you. Once he started to shake the table for no apparent reason angering the people sitting at the other end of it I decided that it was time for me to go and get my second vodka tonic. Except it would actually be my third and fourth vodka tonic...always a bad idea.
I came back and was talking to other people for a while and my friends when John, who had disappeared for the time being, returned appearing even more drunk then he was before. The details are a bit hazy for this portion of the evening, but somehow we started to make out. I don't know why I'm always making out with these random boys in bars. I must like the attention or something. I mean it's nice to hear that your cute and that someone likes you, but when it is a extremely inebriated forty-year old......I need to think these things through. But the drinks kick in and all common sense, the little that I have, goes out the window. Don't get me wrong here, John seems to be a very nice man, if not a bit weird.......I just need to learn to assert some self-control.
I didn't learn that lesson last night because before I knew it I was bringing this man home with me. What is my deal? I mean really. I live close to fiesta. LA isn't exactly a walking city, but I managed to move to an area where I can walk to the gay bars. Ah the joys of living in West Hollywood. But this man decided that he wanted to take a cab. Who takes cabs in LA? How can you even get a cab in LA? Apparently John is able to get a cab in Los Angeles because as I'm saying we can't get a cab in LA the only cab that I've ever seen in this city whizzes by. You would think that if you are driving a cab you know your way around the city. Once again that is the wrong assumption. The cab driver had no idea where it is what I was telling him to go. Luckily from where I was I was able to direct him. Me directing someone in Los Angelels. Now that is a scary thought. I have the worse sense of direction.
John wanted me to go back with him to his hotel. I don't go home with people. It just doesn't happen. I probably shouldn't be bringing people home with me either, but i figure that it is the better of the two options because if the person turns out to be insane then it is probably better for me to be on my home turf. You know if a crazy suspense thriller confrontation occurs I want to know my surrondings...figure out a way to fend off the crazy man. Luckily this guy didn't turn out to be crazy. A little bit wacky, but certainly not crazy.
I was confused, however, because while he was staying at a hotel in West Hollywood he said that he lived in Long Beach. Why is he staying in one place but he lives in another? It seems that in this city people are always sort of drifting around...even when they have a home. I don't understand it. I've never met so many grifters in my life. When we got back to my apartment John passed out practically immediately which of course I was happy about because as soon as I bring these guys home I don't want them there anymore. They way that my mind works at time is deranged. If I know I'm not going to want them there then why do I bring them there in the first place? It's like the chicken and the egg...which came first. Actually, it is nothing like that but it is still a quandry.
A couple of hours later John woke up and couldn't stop asking where he was even though I kept telling him where it is that he was. Just when I thought he had lost his mind he realized who I was. He had thought that he had woken up in his friends house and he wasn't sure why he was in a bed with his friend. I must look a lot like this friend of his. I'm not going to get into every detail of what transpired of the evening, because I'm not one to kiss and tell. That's nott true. If anything I talk about everything and anything with everyone, but I figure I won't put everything out here in cyberspace. What I will say is that while I may bring these dudes home with me I'm not one to be having the sex the first night that I meet someone. Not that I have a problem with it if other's due I've just got too many hang ups to do it. hahaha. I will say this......I think that the man has a foot fetish, he liked to blow air in my mouth, and when I brought him a glass of water he took a sip of it and then spit it out on my leg. Why he did that I'm not sure? I don't know why he did a lot of the things that he did.
He wanted to exchange numbers so I gave him mine. If he called I would probably hang out with him. For all of my ranting and raving he was a very nice guy. A little bit weird, but very nice and he seemed to like me which of course is a turn off for me. As soon as they act like they like me is when I turn the switch off. I know....isn't that very healthy? I mean I have got a handle on all my issues.....not. haha.
That is when it happen. I dropped my razor on the ground. I bent down to pick it up, and when I rose to continue shaving I hit my head on the bottom of the corner of the cabinet that hangs in my bathroom. The fool that I am I left the cabinet door open leaving it wide open for the damn thing to mount a sneak attack. It hurt so much that I yelped, and then went to lie down on my bed because I was scared that I might pass out and I thought that if I were to pass out it would be better if it happened on my bed rather then on my feet in a bathroom full of porclein turning a simple bump in the head to me cracking my head open on the toilet. Nope...I'm not a hypochondriac at all.
I thought everything was fine, but it wasn't until I got to Kinko's that I realized that I had a small bump on my head. Two things came to my mind: 1. Would this small bump become a permanent fixture on my head or leave some sort of indent thus ensuring I wouldn't be able to do the whole shaved head thing again....up until that moment I had a wonderfully shaped head. This could not be. 2. Could I have a concussion? Was I got to fall asleep and never wake up?
Of course the answer was that I didn't have a concussion. Through research on various fronts I discoverd that I would need to be sleepy, nauseaous, or throwing up. YAY! No concussion and apparently the bump would go away. I took some ibuprofen, iced it a bit, and then headed to the movies.
Let's fast forward to much later. Say a 11pm. Tara, Stephanie, and I had decided to go to Fiesta, a local gay bar down the street from our apartment, with our wacky and wild neighbors. Every night of the week they have two happy hours. Yes two happy hours. As if the gays need another excuse to drink. 6:30 to 8:30 and 10:30 to 12:30. 2 for 1 drinks! 2 for 1 drinks! 2 for 1 drinks!
I went into the bar, and of course immediately went to get a drink. You've got to love any place you can get a double vodka tonic for the price of one. I went back towards Tara and Stephanie who were standing with a couple of our neighbors, and as I situated myself next to Tara and Stephanie I felt an arm wrap around me and I was dragged over to a table. What the hell? Who is this man who is just grabbing me? Apparently his was John, and he had coincidentally met Carin, one of my neighbors, earlier that night and he was extremely intoxicated. He was unable to answer a question speaking nothing but gibberish intoxicated. But he was sort of cute so I talked to him for a bit. It was difficult, however, because I couldn't make out a word he was saying, and then Carin got up to go do God knows what so I was left sitting there with this man alone. He proceeded to grab my hands, and look at them as if he was going to read my palm. Being the clever one that I think that I am I asked what he saw in my future. He told me that I was a republican and I was going to die. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. What does that even mean? He had met other Republicans that night as well. Great. Good for you. Once he started to shake the table for no apparent reason angering the people sitting at the other end of it I decided that it was time for me to go and get my second vodka tonic. Except it would actually be my third and fourth vodka tonic...always a bad idea.
I came back and was talking to other people for a while and my friends when John, who had disappeared for the time being, returned appearing even more drunk then he was before. The details are a bit hazy for this portion of the evening, but somehow we started to make out. I don't know why I'm always making out with these random boys in bars. I must like the attention or something. I mean it's nice to hear that your cute and that someone likes you, but when it is a extremely inebriated forty-year old......I need to think these things through. But the drinks kick in and all common sense, the little that I have, goes out the window. Don't get me wrong here, John seems to be a very nice man, if not a bit weird.......I just need to learn to assert some self-control.
I didn't learn that lesson last night because before I knew it I was bringing this man home with me. What is my deal? I mean really. I live close to fiesta. LA isn't exactly a walking city, but I managed to move to an area where I can walk to the gay bars. Ah the joys of living in West Hollywood. But this man decided that he wanted to take a cab. Who takes cabs in LA? How can you even get a cab in LA? Apparently John is able to get a cab in Los Angeles because as I'm saying we can't get a cab in LA the only cab that I've ever seen in this city whizzes by. You would think that if you are driving a cab you know your way around the city. Once again that is the wrong assumption. The cab driver had no idea where it is what I was telling him to go. Luckily from where I was I was able to direct him. Me directing someone in Los Angelels. Now that is a scary thought. I have the worse sense of direction.
John wanted me to go back with him to his hotel. I don't go home with people. It just doesn't happen. I probably shouldn't be bringing people home with me either, but i figure that it is the better of the two options because if the person turns out to be insane then it is probably better for me to be on my home turf. You know if a crazy suspense thriller confrontation occurs I want to know my surrondings...figure out a way to fend off the crazy man. Luckily this guy didn't turn out to be crazy. A little bit wacky, but certainly not crazy.
I was confused, however, because while he was staying at a hotel in West Hollywood he said that he lived in Long Beach. Why is he staying in one place but he lives in another? It seems that in this city people are always sort of drifting around...even when they have a home. I don't understand it. I've never met so many grifters in my life. When we got back to my apartment John passed out practically immediately which of course I was happy about because as soon as I bring these guys home I don't want them there anymore. They way that my mind works at time is deranged. If I know I'm not going to want them there then why do I bring them there in the first place? It's like the chicken and the egg...which came first. Actually, it is nothing like that but it is still a quandry.
A couple of hours later John woke up and couldn't stop asking where he was even though I kept telling him where it is that he was. Just when I thought he had lost his mind he realized who I was. He had thought that he had woken up in his friends house and he wasn't sure why he was in a bed with his friend. I must look a lot like this friend of his. I'm not going to get into every detail of what transpired of the evening, because I'm not one to kiss and tell. That's nott true. If anything I talk about everything and anything with everyone, but I figure I won't put everything out here in cyberspace. What I will say is that while I may bring these dudes home with me I'm not one to be having the sex the first night that I meet someone. Not that I have a problem with it if other's due I've just got too many hang ups to do it. hahaha. I will say this......I think that the man has a foot fetish, he liked to blow air in my mouth, and when I brought him a glass of water he took a sip of it and then spit it out on my leg. Why he did that I'm not sure? I don't know why he did a lot of the things that he did.
He wanted to exchange numbers so I gave him mine. If he called I would probably hang out with him. For all of my ranting and raving he was a very nice guy. A little bit weird, but very nice and he seemed to like me which of course is a turn off for me. As soon as they act like they like me is when I turn the switch off. I know....isn't that very healthy? I mean I have got a handle on all my issues.....not. haha.
posted by Unknown @ 8:24 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home