Sometimes God gives you exactly what you ask for

I said that I wanted something to write about it, and I got it.

I was sitting here in front of my computer reading Soap Opera Weekly. Soap Opera Weekly has a feature called Culture Club in which they ask soap stars things like what are they watching or what is the last movie they saw and so on and so forth.

Marcy Rylan(Lizzie, GL) was asked: "What are you watching?"

Her response: "Desperate Housewives--I love it. Wait, what station is that on? ABC? I'll be dead!(She works on Guiding Light which is a CBS soap for those of you out there not well versed in the world of soap operas) I do like CSI. I love 24. And I watch endless reruns of Sex and the City."

Literally the moment I read "endless reruns of Sex and the City" the phone rang. I picked it up, and in my brain I knew that I was supposed to say Second Stage, but instead I said..."Sex and the City"

Myslef, the woman on the other end of the phone, and the entire box office erupted into laughter.

:)

I want to write something....

At the moment I'm trying to figure out something to write about, but I am drawing a complete and utter blank. I can think of no funny stories or random observations. But I feel like it has been too long since the last time that I wrote so I thought that writing about the fact that I had nothing to write about at the moment was better then not writing at all.

Plus, I like to type. I always have. I'm not sure why it is that I like to type so much, but I do. And let me tell you that if there is anything that I am good at it is typing. I type fast. Almost everyone who sees or hears me typing comments about how fast that I type. I'm not just a fast typer either....I'm a fast typer who does not look at the keyboard and has amazing accuracy.

Yeah....I definitely have nothing to say or I would not be talking about how fast of a typer I am. I know that at some point very soon something is going to happen or I'm going to have a random thought that is just begging to be put in my blog, but at the moment it is alluding me.

I'm just saying....

If it were to come down to me buying a $500 dollar suit or a $500 dollar mattress, I would go for the suit every time. And here is why: I want to look good. I constantly want to add to my wardrobe, but that is not always the fiscally responsible thing to do, but if it were to come down to the above choice my rationale would go as such: I have an air mattress that is immensely comfortable. The rest that I get on the air mattress is just as good as the rest I would get if I called 1-800-Mattress and had one delivered. I would get much more use out of the suit....let's face it the only person my bed is seeing these days is me, so there would be no need for me to get a nice mattress for two when there is only one.

I am neither purchasing a mattress or a suit. I just wanted to let you all know where I stand on the issue.

Pure Power Boot Camp

I have been less then motivated to go to the gym as of late. When I was in LA, and going to Barry's I was perhaps in the best shape of my life. I liked that. Now I am not so much in that good shape. I am feeling really blah, and that just gives me even less motivation to go to the gym. I need to be held accountable by someone else for my gym going habits, and that is why I have signed up for Pure Power Boot Camp.

It is different then Barry's. Very different. First of all the instructors were actually Marines. These are some hardcore people. I went in their today to sign my credit card slip, and finalize everything for my June 5th start date. It is going to be for six weeks, and then after that I think that I am going to have to find a new means of motivating myself to work out, becuase this is not a cheap endeaver. But I digress. I walked into this place today to find an obstacle course. People climbing over walls and going through rope ladders. This is no joke. This is actually like boot camp. I have to wear a uniform, I have to do pushups the moment that I step off the elevator, I am in a platoon, and I was given literature to study.....which I was informed I will be tested on. That's right...I will be tested on it. I'm not going to lie to you my faithful readers, I am scared. I am also going into it with a positive attitude.

The first thing that I am going to do this time is eat the proper diet in conjunction with my six weeks of what I think is going to be hell on earth working out. Beth is going to plan me a diet to eat. I want to see what happens if I do everything right over the course of the next six weeks. Perhaps it will give me motivation to stay on that right path. After the six weeks I am thinking of taking up yoga, and now that Beth is going to be a licensed trainer I have told her that she is going to have to develop a workout program for me, because as I have said over and over and over again...I'm not good on the doing things on my own. I need someone to be yelling at me or at least someone to tell me what to do. I hate to think about the gym. I never know what to do. I like to have programs and plans and instructors.

You know what I thought about today when I was looking at people go through this obstacle course...well I thought about two things. The one thing that I thought about is the fact that the people who were in the gym didn't look like they were in the most fantastic shape of their life. This makes me feel better because it means that there are regular people there, and that I'm not going to come in and be far behind everyone else in my "platoon". The other thing that I thought of was that this was going to be fantastic training for me to be on Survivor. Those people are always climbing through rope nets and leaping over walls. This is going to being me one step closer to being the perfect Survivor.

I Want To Be On Survivor....

Last night was the finale of Survivor: Exile Island. Aras won. Aras is a beautiful man. I was overwhelmingly attracted to him. I just had to put that out there, but that is neither here nor there. It really isn't all that interesting for me to get into the nitty gritty of what happened on Survivor last night, but it must be mentioned that my girl Cirie made it to the final four, but because of damn Terry and his damn immunity idol it came down to a tie vote between Cirie and Danielle to go into the final three, and it was a fire starting comeptition. There were moments in which I thought that Cirie had it, but in the end Danielle won. I was so disappointed that Cirie didn't make it to the final two, but she should be PROUD! She made it to the final four. She made an amazing comeback. She was basically informed that she wsa going to be voted off third, but instead she took stock of the situation, made some fantastic alliances, and manuevered herself into a position of power. Plus....she never went to Exile island.....

I have had this desire to be on reality television for as long as I can remember. When I was a teenager I wanted to be on the Real World. I don't actually want to be on the Real World. The Real World has become less and less real, and the show is harder and harder to relate to. Perhaps if I were on one of the earlier season of the Real World I would have enjoyed it, but now my tastes have changed. I want to play a game. I don't want to be an actor. I don't even want to be in the spotlight after my brief foray into reality television, but I want to play these games of strategy and will. Originally I wanted to do Big Brother, and I still would, but the more that I think about it the more that I have decided that I want a challenge. I want to do something that many people think that I may not be able to do and succeed. My dreams of Survivor are going to become a running theme here in my blog.

I will keep you updated, but rest assured that I am going to be on Survivor. Perhaps come this fall when the new season of Survivor starts to air on CBS, I will have to miss it because I will be off on my own Survivor adventure.

I Heart Izzie....

And George....

And Dr. Miranda Bailey...

And Addision Shepard.....


That's right. I have an addiction to Grey's Anatomy. It just may be one of the best television shows ever to grace the airwaves, and I dare anyone to argue with me on that one. It is just riveting to watch, and last night's episode was no exception.

First of I just want to say that I cannot blame Izzie for wanting to do everything in her power to save Denny. I am in love with him. Although I don't want her to lose her medical career over it. When she started lying to make sure that Denny got the available heart I knew that Izzie was going down a very dangerous road. She was clearly unhinged, and rather then simply telling her what she needed to do I really really wish that Meredith and Cristina had followed Izzie or tipped off George. Leaving Izzie to her own devices only brought her to the moment of deciding she needed to stop Denny's heart to ensure that he got the available one.

Izzie is my favorite character on this show, and I hate to watch the characters that I grow to love do stupid things, but I almost understood why she was doing what she was doing, when she begged Denny to not give up....her tears were flowing, and in a moment of desperation she let her true feelings out...she was in love with Denny. He didn't say it back, but he took Izzie in his arms, his own tears coming at this point, and agreed to let her do whatever was neccesary to get him that heart.....risking his life and her medical career. So he didn't say I love you.....but when he took her in his arms, and agreed to do the one thing that he really did not want to do then you knew the love was there. I am so rooting for Izzie and George to get together eventually, but not yet. I want more Denny.

When the character of Callie was first introduced I really liked her, but that likeability has slowly dwindled away when she refuses to give Izzie and Meredith the benefit of any doubt. I mean Callie snapped at Meredith for asking her a question about her dog. Yes, Callie, you are working on people there. But did you not say moments before that you had to wait for test results...there was no harm in Meredith asking you your opinion about a dog. Calm down! I'm glad that George didn't blindly back her, and yet explained to her that Meredith, Izzie, and Cristina were his family and that she needed to accept that, and couldn't hold them to the same standards that he did. She had to earn that place in their family. It may have sounded mean, but it was true. Callie cannot interact with these people the same way that George does.......and then Callie redeemed herself by showing Meredith x-rays of a human with the same bone condition as her dog. The news was bad, but Callie did the right thing. She is getting back into the good graces......and then as she sat with George rambling on and on she professed her love to him...only to be interrupted by a frantic plea from Izzie for help from George.

I love that Izzie turned to George in her time of need......for now I love the fact that they are best friends, but at some point I do want them to open their eyes and realize that they are in love, but I think that may be sometime coming since Izzie is now not only risking her own career to save Denny, but now George's as well by bringing him in on it. By the look on his face he knew that this was no kind of good situation, but Izzie was basically out of her mind. She had a crazed look in her eye, and George just sort of watched the situation unfold.....he probably should have been more forceful in stopping Izzie from doing this, but now they are both in a lot of trouble. Not as much as Denny, however, because as Izzie is ready to stop Denny's heart with the thought that Dr. Burke will be there any moment to check on Denny, Dr. Burke is getting shot.....that's right....he is lying on the ground of the helipad shot. Not good for Denny...or Dr.Burke....or for Cristina for that matter becaus things were not left in a good place between the two of them. Why Dr. Burke puts up with Cristina's bull I am not sure, but he loves her and the two of them continue to do the little dance that they do. I bet this is going to make Cristina open her eyes, and realize the fantastic boyfriend that she has.

Other things did happen in this episode, but the last thing that I am going to discuss is the Meredith-Derek-Addison-McVet(I can't remember his name at the moment) situation. Derek is basically being an ass calling Meredith names and ignoring Addision all because Meredith and McVet are now dating. Now Addision thought that Meredith and Derek were sleeping together again, but it was the realization that Derek was so in up arms because Meredith was dating someone else that made everything click for Addision. Meredith is the one that Derek wants, and he is with Addision out of some sort of sense of obligation. Well stop being the god dam martyr Derek. I love Addision. Sometimes I like her better then Meredith. Yes, Addision did something that was very very bad, but you know what at some point you need to either let it go or let Addision go. She should not be punished for the rest of his life, and the fact that Addison's actions illicit no kind of response from Derek, but Meredith moving on makes Derek a rageing crazy man says something, and thank God that Addison saw that.

Bring back Eric Dane for Addison, have her give Derek the boot, and let Meredith stay with the vet. Derek deserves it for the way that he was behaving. Perhaps Addison screaming at Derek that he was still in love with Meredith in front of everyone including Meredith was not the smartest move that she could have made, I say brava to her....it was time that Derek was told off.

I cannot wait for tonight's two hour season finale. It is going to be a NAIL BITER!

The Countdown Meant Nothing.....

Last week I watched, in my humble opinion, what was a very poor send off for Seventh Heaven. As much as I loathed the way the finale went down, and as much as I loved to sit down with my guiltiest of pleasures on a Monday evening, I did agree with the decision to nix the show. It was time for Seventh Heaven to go to that TV network in the sky......I mean they will live on forever on DVD.

Guess what?

7th Heaven faked their death. At least that is the word on the street.


What I am hearing,through many sources that I find to be generally reliable, is that the CW was less then thrilled with the crop of pilots that they had been viewing, and being the fusion of two networks they wanted to come out with the strongest showing possible. What does this mean? Keep in mind that nothing will be known until Friday when the CW unveils their lineup....but at this point I think it is a safe bet to think that we are going to find out if that baby Hayley Duff had is actually a Camden.

That's right...they have been brought back from cancellation. We are going to be getting 13 more hours of those crazy, wacky, and wild Camdens. Now I doubt that Jessica Biel is going to return to the show and apparently What About Brian has been picked up so that means we won't be seeing much of Matt, but I bet you that the rest of the clan is going to be back in full force.

Is it wrong that I am slightly excited about the prospect?

The Countdown Is Over: The Camden's are gone

After ten years of pretending not to be a gigantic fan of the show Seventh Heaven, in the past couple of years I embraced my love for those wacky Camdens. I never got to the point of adding it to my DVR.

I had big hopes for this final episode of Seventh Heaven, and I am going to be completely blunt with you here......Brenda Hampton let me down....BIG TIME!

First of all one of the more minor questions that I had that will never be answered was what was the mysterious source of income that Kevin, Lucy's husband seemed to have. Kevin had left the police force and became a stay at home dad, Lucy was a minister...I don't even think that she went to college....and yet Kevin was giving Ruthie money to go on a three month trip to Scotland and Lucy and Kevin decided that as a wedding present to Simon they were going to pay off the remainder of the balance on the engangement ring, that apparently was beautiful and very expensive....so expensive that Simon had basically dropped out of school and was working two jobs just to pay off this ring. Where exactly did Kevin get all that money? Is he secretly a drug dealer.....perhaps they should have a darker, seedier spinoff that focuses on Kevin and his illegal dealings. The Camden's would never approve.

Every other second they were flashing back to the first episode.....which they had done in the previous two episodes. I understand that when a show is going to come to an end they are going to be a little bit nostalgic and rely a bit on flashbacks...but they should not consume the final three episodes as they did in the case of Seventh Heaven. Every other minute we had Eric and Annie gazing into each other's eyes or at one of their kids, and we were whisked back to 1996. I've lived through 1996 and the first season of Seventh Heaven once already......I don't need to do it again. In the same vein...I didn't need to see Annie and Eric imagine how the wedding was going to...why did they waste time with those ridiculous scenarios. Why didn't they show us Simon and Rose not getting married, rather then leave us guessing at the wedding reception. I mean we all knew that it was not going to happen, but the time for suspense has passed. The series finale should be all about pay off pay off pay off.

Which brings me to yet another grievance. Mary appeared at the wedding in one of Eric's fantasies, but wasn't at the actual wedding. First we will deal with the fantasy. Mary's father clearly thinks that she is a moron, because she didn't even know what a globe was in this little scenario. Mary may have been the bad seed of the Camden clan...aka a normal twenty something of the 21st century......but she was never stupid, and I was thrilled beyond belief that Annie pointed out to Eric that Mary is far smarter then he was giving her credit for. I'm going to return to my frustrations regarding Mary in a moment, but first...

How ridiculous is it that Lucy, Matt, and Mary were all going to be having twins. What? What is the deal? How fertile are these people. Annie popped out seven kids.....Lucy is well on her way being twenty four with one child, and two more on the way. Matt and Sara are a little behind, but they got two for the price of one. Carlos and Mary already have a kid, and two more on the way. Which leads me back to Mary....she was just as pregnant as Sarah, and Sarah flew to the wedding. Why didn't Mary come? I mean...what is the point of not having her there. They got Jessica Biel back for the final episode, and this is television....even if she was too pregnant to fly this is FICTION. She should have been at the wedding, and it was ridiculous that she was not. Incidentally, I almost fell on the floor with laughter at the reaction of Annie and Eric upon finding out that Carlos and Mary had gotten back together....GOD FORBID they have one child who is not perfect. GOD FORBID! I liked that Mary wasn't perfect, but they had to redeem her.

Now let's talk about the ending.....Haylie Duff walked in with that baby and told Simon that they needed to talk, seriously implying that the baby was his and not Martin's. But then no words were spoken...music started.

If that had been the season finale that would have been a perfectly fine ending....a great one as a matter of fact. But as a series finale it was not good. BTW...where was Ruthie during the whole thing? She appeared for approximately seven minutes.

I'm sorry to say that the Seventh Hevan Series Finale was a major disappointment, but the ten years of guilty pleasure you never want to admit you watch it TV was well worth it!

Pork is officially not for dinner now....

Is the pork industry desperate to bring the pork chop back into the american lexicon and diet? Is the industry so in need of revival that they will allow any lunatic to craft an ad campaign for them? I think that may be the case. I am about to relay to you a commerical that Yas and I saw one day while watching television. No one else has seen this commerical. No one else seems to know what we are talking about. I think that they pulled it from the airs after that one airing because it was that horrible. That's right.

All of this is in claymation or some variation of that medium.

A pork chop and a peach are having a forbidden romance. That's right...a forbidden romance. As it should be, though, because romantic entanglements between meat and fruit just seems wrong. The meat so rough and weeathered by the world, and the fruit so fragile and innocent.

The pork chop scales the wall to the peach's balcony, and swings in to profess his love. The peach is playing the harp or something. At first she is shocked, and dare I say appalled, that the pork chop would have scaled the wall and enter her bedroom uninvited, but quickly passion gets the better of them, and they begin what I can only imagine was supposed to be sex between this pork chop and peach. What does sex between a pork chop and a peach look like? Well....it looks like these claymation puppets slamming against one another. That's right....they were literally banging. It was the most bizaree sight I have ever seen......simulated poultry sex. EW!

They don't get to finish, however, because Lord Poultry...that's right the chicken is a lord......storms in and demands that pork get away from peach. I can only imagine that the pork chop was some sort of peasant, and lord chicken did not deem such a commoner worth of such beauty as a peach. The porkchop refuses to be separated from the one that he loves, he grabs the peach, and together they jump into the fire.

Cut to a woman's hands holding out a peach glazed pork. That's right...they died in the fire so that they could wind up in someone's stomach together.

This commercial has disappeared from the airwaves, and I say good riddance. It was bizarre, and I'm not sure how it ever got on the air. Although I must admit that I am sort of glad that it made its way onto the airwaves......it was that ridiculous.

The following is what people should not do.....

I have a very good friend from high school who I am not going to name here, but she is the focal point of what I am going to be writing about here. I spent most of the last two years of my high school life with this girl, and we remained close when she went away to college, and I came to the city. Now if she is not in the city then she is at home in Poughkeepsie, so I get to see her fairly often.

Sometimes she will call me when she is on the train or walking back to her dorm, and if she leaves me a voicemail it isn't always neccesary to return the call because she was just calling me to kill time. But that was not the case in the particular instance that I am referring to here. My phone vibrates to tell me that I have a message, and it is from this friend. Her voice was stone cold serious, and she slowly told me that I needed to call her back right away because she had something very important to tell me. I was convinced that it was something horrible. This was not the way that she normally left me messages, and she wouldn't have had such a lack of emotion if it were good news. With my morbid and neurotic mind the first thing that I think is that someone has died. I give myself a moment to mentally prepare myself for what could potentially be terrible news.

I dial her phone number hoping that she is going to pick up, and we won't have to start the voicemail game.

"Hello." She said.
"What's wrong?" I ask, not wanting to engage in any type of small talk whatsoever.
"What are you talking about?" she asked inquistively.
"You just left me a message that sounded like you had to tell me that someone was dead. You said that there was something very important that you had to tell me."
"Oh...that. My friend got a boob job, and I didn't know who else to tell. Isn't that funny?"

I suppose that is a funny story. I might have chuckled and asked her about it had she left me an approrpiate message, but instead she essentially tricked me into thinking that someone was dead in order to get me to call her back, which I would have done anyway if she had said that she had something funny or interesting to tell me. I certainly would have returned her call within a day.

What is the lesson that I want you to take away from this story? Leave information appropriate voice mails. If something bad has happened, then tell the person that you need them to call you, and that it is important. If you do say this, what you have to tell them should not be that someone that they have met at most once has gotten their boobs done. This is not very important.

Use this as a guide to leaving voice mails if you are unsure.

:)