American Idol: Swoon Alert

Ok.....Ace Young is hot. No one can deny that. But watching him sing last night, and look into that camera....I thought that I was going to melt into a puddle. A PUDDLE I tell you.

That boy is hot, and I imagine we are going to have many many more weeks to watch him sing.

Grey's Anatomy

Why is that show so good? I mean it just gets better and better and better every week.

Cristina and Alex were trying to listen to what Derek, Mark, and the chief were saying and Cristina actually turned to Alex and asked if Derek called someone a crac whore. I love it. LOVE IT! The term crack whore cracks me up to begin with, but coming out of the mouth of these characters...anything that comes out of the mouths of these characters cracks me up.

What really had me going, however, was George and Meredith having sex! It was one of those moments in which you are screaming at the television because you cannot believe what is happening in front of you. That was the last thing that I would have expected to happen, and as much as I love a good spoiler I have to admit that there is something so enjoyable about watching Grey's Anatomy and having no idea what is about to happen.

Tony, the adventures continue....

I told you that there was going to be more to this whole Tony story, and here it is. This was practically two weeks ago, but I continue nonetheless. It was now Sunday night, and Erin's last night here. We were going to Basix for dinner, and then out to the Abbey. Literally an hour and a half before we were going to be heading out to dinner, I decided that I would send Tony a text message to tell him what we were up to that night, and see if he wanted to join us. I don't think that some guy sending me a text message with little to no advance warning of when he wanted to hang out would have gotten much of a response from me, and yet not even fifteen minutes later Tony was calling me.

I had sent him a text message so I wouldn't have to talk to him on the telephone, and here he was ruining everything that I had set up, but since I did invite him I answered the phone, and all he seemed to be able to do was laugh. I mean he was laughing for no reason. I explained what I was up to that evening, and told him that he was more then welcome to join us. He took far too long to think about it. He was muttering and stammering, and I was just sitting there on the telephone wishing that he had thought about all of this before he had called me because the text message had had plenty of information. It wasn't a short text message, and yet he had to sit on the phone with me, and make me wait while he mulled it over in his head. All mulling should be done in private. I'm just saying. He finally decided that he would come and meet us for drinks after we had had dinner.

Erin seemed to think that his rapid response meant that he was interested in me, and I must admit that it seemed that way to me as well. If you want to play it cool, you don't immediately return a text message with a phone call. You wait a little while, and then you send a text back or something. I have to say that there is a part of me that truly loathes the games that you have to play while dating, and yet there is a certain degree of comfort in them that you don't recognize until someone decides that they aren't going to stay within the rules of the game. As much as I loathe and despise the games that we are forced to play when we first start dating someone, I follow them to a tee. I analyze when it is I should call them, what I should say, every detail is gone over and over in my head and I hate every minute of it. Yet, when someone decides that they aren't going to engage in that I think that it is weird. Do the two sides of my brain talk to one another or do they just act indepedently in order to drive me crazy.

Erin and I went to dinner, and then met up with Kristyn and went to the Abbey. This was at 9pm. When we got to the Abbey I called Tony, and he started doing the yammering and muttering thing again. What I wanted to tell him was to do whatever he wanted to do. At this point, I was growing weary of his indecision. He was the one that decided to call me so if he didn't really want to go out he should have just sent me a text telling me that he was tired or something like that. But he didn't. Instead he made me play these games with him on the phone, and finally he decided that he in fact did want to come out. I was getting to a point in which I couldn't have cared less, but now he was on his way so I couldn't even leave anymore. We went inside and got drinks and chatted. Do you know what time he showed up at the damn bar? 10:30pm. That's right. He showed up an hour and a half after I called him. Apparently, he doesn't live very close, and he had been napping so he needed to get ready to go out. Who naps at 9pm? I mean if you are going to be a sleep at 9pm you might as well just go to bed. You'll probably wake up early in the morning, but it's not exactly what I would call prime napping time.

Fine. I bought him a drink, because that is how I roll, and we all chatted. I was my usual charming, fliratious self, and it did seem as if he was flirting back with me. He wanted to go next door after the girls left so that we could dance, which turned out to be only a few minutes after he had said that to me because they were both pretty tired and wanted to go back to watch Deserate Housewives.

They left, and Tony and I went next door to Here. We were actually having a really nice conversation while we were there, and Tony was saying nice things to me like a lot of people had come up to talk to him the night that we met, but he didn't really see anything in any of them, but he did see something in me. I was actually beginning to think that Tony was a good guy. He seemed that way from the previous evening, but you can never tell. People love to put on fronts. I was being swayed to camp Tony, but I admit I had trouble reading him. He was very closed off, so it wasn't always easy to tell what he was thinking. But the signals that he was giving me were ones of definite interest, and God knows I had made myself very clear over the two times that we had met...kissing him, inviting him out, buying him a drink. I wasn't throwing myself at him, but who the hell wants someone that is going to throw themselves at you. Who wants to throw themselves at someone? I certainly don't. It's not the way that I want to be.

Basically, things were going really well. Of course I knew that this was not really something that would go anywhere because I am heading back to New York, but it was a fun distraction for the moment. A cute boy is always a fun distraction. Apparently, Tony agreed with me because we had been standing down by the dance floor when this, what can only be described as a child because he could not have been much older then nineteen walks past us. The fool was wearing work out shorts, some sort of basketball jersey, and a towel wrappped around his head. A full on bath towel. I really don't know what the motivation for wearing the bath towel was, and I had very little desire to get to know him. Unfortunately, he noticed that Tony was looking at him and I was gawking. Tony didn't seem to see the ridiculousness in his outfit, while I could see nothing but. He came over and gave one of those head jerks in which your head goes up and your chin protrudes out as a means of recognition. He then planted himself between me and Tony, with his back to me, and started to engage him in conversation. Are you kidding me? Is this actually happening? Apparently it was, because the next thing I knew they were getting ready to go and dance.

I wasn't really having any of it, and so what I was going to do was leave. I should have just left and saved myself some aggrevation, but when I said I was going to leaave Tony grabbed me by the arm, and made me go onto the dancefloor with him. We like to be wanted, and the fact that he wanted me to stay made me a little less angry for a moment, because the moment that we got out onto the dance floor he was dancing with the guy with the beach towel wrapped around his head. I later learned that the reason he had that wrapped around his head was because he had gone to the beach earlier that day. Maybe a better place to put it would have been in the car. He looked like a damn fool. If I wasn't so busy wishing he would disappear, I would have asked what the motivation for that was.

I was so angry that my mouth was getting dry. I realized that Tony and I barely knew each other, and I am not even going to be here that much longer so he can go out with a different guy every day of the week for all I care, what I do care about is feeling like a fool. If you came here with me, and were having a good time with me, then you should know better then to push me aside for some moronic nineteen year old. Finally, the nineteen year old went to the bathroom, and I basically told Tony that he had hurt my feelings and that he can do whatever he wants, but since he did come out with me I thought it was kind of rude for him to be dancing up on this child. All that Tony could say was that he didn't do anything wrong, and that I had been talking to other guys too. Really? You mean the guy that I knew from the gym that i was talking too while I was waiting for you outside of the bathroom. Is that the other guys that I was talking too? I was not having that comparison, and I told him that. Once again, I was going to leave, but he wanted me to stay so I did, and the two of them just fricking continued dancing once the nineteen year old got back. I was about ready to put up with that for five minutes, and finally I asked Tony to just walk me out. If he wanted to stay here with that kid, then he was more then welcome too, but he was going to get a peace of my mind.

I took him outside, and tried to explain to him what was going through my head, but apparently he isn't all that bright. He just kept telling me that he didn't do anything wrong, and then the fool told me that he didn't think that I liked him like that. Really? That is just a damn lie. It was an excuse to be rude, and I wasn't having it. But I could tell Tony why the situation sucked until I turned blue in the face, and he just wasn't going to be on the same page as me. I expected nothing from him, but when he was out with me I expected him to be out with me, and not macking on teenagers who are barely legal when he is 28 years old. He didn't seem to get that, but wanted me to stay while he said goodbye to his child. Twenty minutes later, he comes out with the child, and we happen to all be walking in the same direction.

We walk for about a block, and apparently Tony and nineteen year old are parked on teh same street but in opposite directions. The nineteen year old then has to gaul to ask me if I want him to give me a ride home. I was text messaging someone at the moment, and I simply said no without looking up at him. This kid knew exactly what he had been doing so I wasn't interested in making small talk with him. Tony then insisteed that he drive me home because it was so cold out, and I didn't have a jacket. Uhm.....I'm from NYC. I can handle walking home in fifty degree weather, but I relented because there is always that part of me that wants to see if he had seen the error of his ways and realized that I am the far better pick.

He didn't because as he was saying goodbye to the nineteen year old, the kid said..."I will see you in a little bit.....I mean, I will talk to you soon." Wow. He should be a spy, because that was the best damn save in the world. If they thought that I didn't know what was going on then they were both biggere idiots then I thought that they were.

Tony drove me hom, basically in silence because I had nothing to say to him. We got to my house and re-hased what had been said. He being unable to comprehend what I was saying, thinking that I wanted him to be my boyfriend or something. HA! Far from it! Especially after the lovely evening that he showed me. I got out of the car, he starts to pull away, and then pulls the car back into the driveway to ask me for a cigarette. Truth be told, I only had the one left that I had been smoking, but even if I had had more I probably wouldn't have given him one at that point. I told him that I had no more left, and he had the nerve to demand I show him my pack because he thought that I was lying. WHAT!?!?!?!? That was just icing on the cake. He hugged me goodbye, and told me to call him.

Do you think that I have called him? Of course not. Even I have my limits.

Another whacked out boy to add to the list....

Let It Be Known.....

I am not a mind reader.

Stop At the Red, Or End Up Dead

Almost every bus that I have seen in Los Angeles, has the slogan: Stop at the red or end up dead on it. I realize that there are a lot of bad drivers in the world, and a great many of them seem to reside in Los Angeles, but do these people really not stop at red lights. Is this actually a problem in this city? Are people stupid or do they just not care that a red light means stop? No one is so important or in so much of a hurry that they can't stop at a red light.

Seriously, what is wrong with these people? Yet another reason that Brian is glad to be leaving LA.

Do I Ask To Find Myself In These Situations?

Sometimes I wonder if I find myself in these ridiculously melodramatic situations because I am emitting some sub-concious homing beacon to the crazy people of the world. I'm a mecca for nutcases. I am a little behind in my blogging so this all takes place last Friday when Erin was still here. We had been very lethargic during the day, and were wondering if we were even going to go out that evening. Of course we were going to grab dinner, but a night of drinking didn't exactly sound appealing. Actually, I don't even think I was that hungry, and if I had been alone probably would not even have gone out to dinner, but then I wouldn't have this story to relate!

It is proven to me time and time again that the evenings that you insist you want to do nothing, and then are coaxed out of the house are the evenings that turn out to be the most interesting and fun. Kristyn planned on meeting Arthur at Merrick's so we went along, and within moments there was a margaraita, and a delcious one at that, in my hand. I sucked that margarita down like it was the juice of life, and before I knew it I was ready for my second one and more then willing to entertain the possibility of going out. A lot of times when i say I don't want to go out it comes from a lack of motivation. If you get me to a bar or a restuarant, surrond me with some friends and put a drink in my hand then my outlook on life tends to change.

Three or four margaritas later, I lost count when I got completely trashed off of the margaritas. It didn't help that all I had eaten that evening had been a handful of chips and like three bites of a chicken quesadilla, we were off. Where were we going? Kristyn, Erin, Arthur, and I hopped in a cab to I Candy, that bar whose opening was chronicled on a reality show on LOGO. I think like fourteen people in America actually watch LOGO so if you have never heard of it then I wouldn't feel too bad. I probably should have asked where Arthur was taking us as we piled into the cab, but with three or four margaritas dancing around in me it seemed like a good idea. This bar was wall to wall men. I mean you could barely turn a shoulder. I managed to get through two vodka tonics, but for one reason or another I was not feeling the bar. We mosied along outside, and stood there for a while, and knowing that Erin had had enough of being jammed into small spaces with gay men as far as the eye could see, I decided that it was time for us to head out. Arthur and Kristyn stayed to continue their own adventures.

Erin and I got out onto the street, and the fresh air invigorated me. We started to call all of our friends from high school and leave them very very drunk messages. Bevin actually picked up the phone and spoke in words that were completely unintelligible. Erin and I kept thrusting the phone at each other and attempting to talk to her but she was barely able to manage a grunt let alone construct a sentence and realize who it was. I don't understand people who hear the phone, answer it, but are unable to completely rouse themselves from their slumber so that they can actually. I may be half asleep when that happens, but I am still able to form words. Oh bevin...gotta love her. We each left Beth and Jen messages. I think we each left Kevin messages as well. When we called Richard, Beth's boyfriend, neither one of us actually wanted to talk so we just held the phone out into the air demanding that the other person talk. You don't actually want to get most of these people on the phone. You are hoping to leave them a drunken message that they will laugh at in the morning, but Richard answered the phone and dashed all of our plans. Talking to Beth later, I learned that he had heard us arguing about who was going to talk. Personally, I would have just hung up the phone rather then listen to the ramblings of two drunk morons.

The night air and the round of prank phone calls gave me a new lease on the evening. I did not want to go home, and when Erin said that she did want to go home I apparently scolded her and told her that she was going to party like a rock star. Where did I take her to party like a rock star...that's right.....Fiesta. It was the second happy hour of the evening which of course lasts for two hours. I think that the first one lasts for four hours. I could not let Erin leave West Hollywood and not know the joy that is very strong double drinks at Fiesta. We went there, got our drinks, and went out onto the patio. I am a friendly person to begin with, but when I am as drunk as I was at that moment I will talk to anyone regardless of who they are or what they are doing. My mouth will open, and words will start to fly out. That is how we met Tony. We were standing at one of the tables, of course I was lighting a cigarette, and Tony was sitting down smoking. I smiled at him, and said hello. Very loudly. He responded with hello and the conversation was off and running. What is it that the three of us talked about in those few moments? I have no idea. I do know that I thought Tony was cute, and that he smoked. This is wrong of me, but there is a part of me that find a guy who smokes very attractive. Maybe it is because I don't have to justify it to them that I smoke. Regardless, he was there with his friends who wanted to go next store to Rage. He invited us along. Rage has a ten dollar cover, but I was drunk and there was a cute boy involved....there was no way that I wasn't going, and poor Erin was caught in the gravitational pull of my hormones and had no choice but to stay the course.

This is where I stop the story for a moment. I want to tell a story about what my roommate said to me when I was relating this story to her. Tara was sitting on the couch and since I am unable to sit still for longer then two seconds was weaving back and forth across the living room as I told her about my evening. The moment in which I am stopping you in the story is the moment in which she stopped me with a bit of astonishment. Tara told me that I am the only person she knows that meets people at a bar then proceeds to leave the bar and continue the night with him. When she meets someone at a bar she has fun with them there, but when that portion of the evening is over they part ways. Not me....if we meet in a bar chances are we are going to probably head to the next bar together. I seem to do this at points that are later in the evening rather then earlier in the evening. I am always a more the merrier type of guy, but I guess as evenings such as these proceed and I continue the intake of vodka tonics I insist that we are more and merry.

I return to my story now.

As we were entering Rage, Tony leans in and whispers in my ear that his friend Danny, who looks like Jeff Branson who plays Johnathan Lavery on All My Children, thinks that I am cute. I wasn't really sure what I was supposed to do with that information. I had been making it very clear that I was interested in Tony, and not Danny. Without really giving anything away, I should have let that be my first clue that this guy was not in the frame of mind that I wanted him to be in. Unsure of where to go with that statement, I told Tony that I thought that he was cute, and he told me that he thought that I was cute too. There was a lot of cute being thrown around. When you say it once it is accetpable, but when you start to throw it around like that it starts to take a different meaning. It isn't what you want it to be. I think of puppy's and small children frolicking in the field as their proud parents watch on, digitial cameras in hand. The night proceeded. There was dancing. There was drinking. There was Erin having enough of gay men, and leaving to go home to bed. There was Tony and I going to the bathroom, and then when I finished he had disappeared and I couldn't find him or his friends anywhere. It was as if they had left. I had mixed feelings of disappointment and anger, but then all of a sudden I found Tony at the bar. It was strange because he had not been there a second before. It was as if he had appeared out of nowhere.

We went and found his friends and went to dance. This is when I began to feel caught between a rock and a hard place. I was dancing with Tony who was definitley dancing with me, but his friend Danny was also getting up on me. Danny had some roving hands. If I am going to be completely honest, I do have to say that I liked having two guys want attention from me. It does not happen often, and it is a bit of an ego boost. There even was a moment or two when I thought that Danny might be the one that I should pursue because his efforts to make his attraction known were definitley more blatant, but my mind had set on Tony and when I hone in on someone I tend to not change my mind, at least in an evening. I'm pretty sure that Danny realized that, but that didn't really seem to stop him from making his attraction known.

When the bar finally closed we all decided to go and get something to eat. I wasn't sure if Tony was going to be coming with us. He disappeared in his car, and didn't seem to want me to come with him or say goodbye to me. Danny, however, was practically pulling me into the car with him, draping himself over me, and insisting that I come. This is yet another clue about Tony that I should have picked up on. The boy seemingly left without saying a word to me. How interested could he have really been? When we got to the diner, Danny sat next to me and continued to molest my leg as we were looking at the menus. I was just sort of beginning to accept Danny's interest when Tony came into the diner.

Danny had come with Tony, and two of his other friends, a guy and a girl. At this point the guy turned to me and told me that he knew what my game was. That is interesting, because I didn't know what my game was. He seemed to think that I was purposefully trying to play Tony and Danny against one another in some sort of competition for my affection. Are you kidding me? Seriously....I had made my intentions very clear. I had voiced them, and this short little man was trying to tell me that I was shady, and then there girlfriend tried to imply that I was some dirty slut...those were the words that were used. These two had such vehemence towards me that I wasn't even sure what to do with it. I couldn't even really believe that that was the situation that I was in. I have a hard enough time finding one guy, never mind having two that are friends both be interested in me. That is just more drama then I am interested in frankly. I tried to explain to the both of them, to no avail I might add, that I wasn't trying to play any games with their friends. Keep in mind this conversation is being had while Danny is trying to nuzzle his head on my shoulder and rubbing my leg. I don't think that anything I could have said to either one of the friends who seemed to think that I was the devil incarnate could have convinced them that I wasn't trying to play some sort of game here. What did not help was when Danny got up to go to the bathroom, Tony took his seat right away and started to manhandle me.

Was I giving off some sort of pheremone that these two really liked? That seat next to me was getting a lot of traffic. Danny came back to the table, and then Tony went to the bathroom. Danny got right back into the seat next to me. I was getting to a point where I didn't want to be around either one of them. The penchant for drama was getting too high for me.

We left the diner, and the two friends who saw me as some sort of sexual predator got into their car, waiting for Danny to get into the car as well. Danny, Tony, and I stood there awkwardly not exactly sure of what the next move was. Danny clearly wanted to say something to me, but instead just hugged me and got into the car with a rejected look on his face which of course I felt bad about, but I still had it in my mind that Tony was the guy that I was interestred in. Initially I said I was going to walk home, which I could have done but it would have been ridiculous. Tony insisted that he drive me home. He did. We sat in the driveway for a few minutes until I finally told Tony that I thought that he should kiss me. Hello? What did he think I was sitting in the car for? My health. It was like 3:30 in the morning. If I didn't want some man to man kissing then I wouldn't have been sitting in that car making ridiculous chatter. We did kiss, and he gave me his phone number, and for some reason I thought that it was a promising encounter. What I should have learned from this evening is that Tony does not know how to read blatant signals or have any idea what is going on inside of the head of people. He seems to be oblivious to the world, however I shouldn't be pointing fingers at people calling them oblivious because I seemed to be VERY MUCH misreading Tony.

Do you think that that is the end of the story? Is it ever the end of the story? Of course not. But the rest is for a later time.

Who Is The Last Person You Would Expect to Write a Movie That Actually Gets Produced?

If the answers i Jenny McCarthy, then you are very very wrong my friends because Jenny McCarthy has written a movie called Dirty Love.....and it is complete and utter rubbish, but in that oh so good way that you can't help but watch it, and yes before any of you even think to ask I plan on buying this movie. I am not sure what goes on in this women's head, but she is clearly a little cracked out of her mind. Once again I reiterate the fact that this movie is garbage.....and yet I could not help but laugh till I cried...actually tears were streaming down my face...at parts of the movie.

Kristyn, Elle, and I were being silly when we picked it out. We started to call it Dirty Whore, although that might as well have been what the name of it was. First of all, Carmen Electra was playing the part of one of Jenny McCarthy's friends in the movie, yes that is right writing this Oscar contender was not enough for her she needed to star in it as well so to ensure she would get nominated for Best Original Screenplay and Best Actress-the greed is astonishing to me. In Carmen's role as the friend she had to do nothing then pretend that she was ghetto in a manner that I am not sure people actually act. I think movies just make us want to think that people behave like this. Carmen Electra certainly doesn't act like that...do I smell a Best Supporting Actress nominee in her future...I mean she was robbed at the Golden Globes.

The movie essentially opened up after Jenny McCarthy had been dumped by her very hot and very stupid male model boyfriend. She stood on Hollywood Boulevard crying, screaming, throwing herself on the floor and against random people, and basically making an ass of herself. I was on the floor laughing from the first moment. It was just so ludicrous. The plot of the movie is ridiculous, and basically non-existent but essentially J. McCarth's character has been dumped and is now trying to get over the love that she has lost with the help of her two best femal friends and her best male friend who, of course, happens to be in love with her and is played by Eddie Kay Thomas of the American Pie movies, and frankly could be her son. No I am not saying that he could be her son in the movie, but rather could actually be her son. I'm not sure why the casting department thought that he was the one for this role, but they must have thought the chemistry was smoking between him and his mother figure, J. McCarth.

I can't imagine that Jenny is a writer by trade so there were entire parts of the movie that I sat there simply staring at the screen because it was nothing more then stupidity.....and not the good kind of stupidity, but just when you thought she was going to lose you she reels you back in. Quite honestly, there are certain parts of this moviet that I would love to describe to you in detail, but I just do not think that I can do them justice, but let me just leave you with a few teaser images in your head so that you will run, don't walk, to your local blockbuster and rent this movie:

Jenny, after having taking acid, sitting on a couch convulsing and twitching.

Jenny throwing a temper tantrum, covered in vomit and exposing her breasts which are less real then my imaginary friend Jerome, outside of her ex-boyfriend's fashion show.

A naked man with a bass fish stuck up his ass...on purpose.

Jenny hurling herself at a bus...yes hurling herslef at a bus, and being very pleased with herself for accomplishing it.

I repeat...run, don't walk, to Blockbuster. Are you still sitting there reading? GO!

If the Names Tyler Christopher and Natalia Livingston Mean Anything to You, Then We Are Officially in Love

There are many words to describe Brian Hewson: cute, funny, sarcastic, neurotic, nervous, slightly obsessive, at times bloated from the immense amount of sodium he likes to eat, but in case you didn't notice one of the words that is not on that list is trendy. I am under no delusions. I am cool in the sense that I like who I am and I like who my friends are and I can go with the flow of things and get myself in there with all sorts of people. I am not cool in the sense that I am hip and trendy. I would never be mistaken for a hipster or a Los Angeles socialite, but this evening I made one of my few sojourns to a place that is pseudo-trendy: Koi in West Hollywood.

Koi is a sushi restaurant that celebrities apparently like to frequent. Kristyn, Elle, and I wanted to get sushi. I would never in my life dream of suggesting going to Koi.....I usually don't even attempt anywhere that is even pseudo trend-o-rama unless it is on the suggestion of one of my many friends who are far hipper then I. This is not a bad thing, but rather a simple statement of fact. I revel in my dorkiness and complete and utter lack of hipness. I suppose to a degree it is kind of hip to not be. I think the style that I am going to attempt to emulate is dork chic. Can you see it? Regardless, Kristyn had been to Koi, and suggested it. We didn't think that we were going to be able to get into the restaurant, but apparently they do take walk-ins, and luckily it was within walking distance of my apartment. We gave it a try, got there, and succeeded. We didn't get a table persay, but we were sitting in the lounge area on plush couches, and there was a table for us to use so it was really just as good as actually getting one of the dining room tables. Even better perhaps.

I really intended to have this be a drink free evening, but we got there, and thoughts of vodka tonics started swirling in my head. There was a wine vs. vodka debate, but ultimately I wanted the vodka tonic. Drinks were ordered, food was ordered, and then I noticed someone who looked vaguley familair standing at the bar. He was quite a good looking man, but I knew I had seen that profile somewhere before. Tyler Christopher aka Nikolas Cassadine of General Hospital fame. That's right. Nikolas Cassadine was standing in Koi with a very pretty young women. Now, I knew that Tyler had been dating Natalia Livingston aka Emily Quartermaine Cassadine his on again off again paramour on General Hospital. But they had broken apart, so I did not let myself get my hopes up that Nikolas and Emily were at Koi at the same time as me. But then the girl turned her head...and guess what...it was Natalia Livingston, and they were looking very cozy together. Giddiness flooded my body.

I am not one to get star struck. I am constantly seeing celebrities, and it always excites me but I don't really have the urge to go up to them and say anything, for the most part. I notice them. I point them out to whomever I am with, and that is the end of it. Not with my soap stars. Seeing a soap star is like someone else seeing Brad Pitt or Britney Spears. I freak out. Add to that these are stars of my soap, General Hospital, and there was no containing my delight. I was torn, however, because I didn't want to interrupt their evening, and yet how could I let the chance to tell them how much I loved General Hospital.

Kristyn and Elle of course made me realize that I would be kicking myself all the way back to the east coast, if I didn't go and say something to them. I did the sit down/stand up thing a couple of times, and then I got up and went straight into the bathroom. I needed to look as if there was something else going on for no other reason then to calm my own insanity that they would think that I was a crazy person, which frankly wouldn't be too far off the mark. I exited the bathroom, and made a beeline over to them, politely interrupted their conversation and told them both how much I enjoyed their performances and that General Hospital was at the top of my list as far as television is concerened. They were both extremely gracious and pleasant and thanked me, and they didn't seem to be at all bothered by my intrusion into their conversation which was nice of them. Tyler spoke first, and for a moment it was off putting to hear the voice that I associate with Nikolas Cassadine speaking to me.

I made my intereaction with them very brief. I could have rambled on forever and ever, but I wanted to leave them with a very pleasant encounter. Secretly, I wanted them to talk about me for a moment after I left them and say wasn't that sweet for him to come over and tell us how much he enjoyed the show. I doubt that they even gave me a second thought, but a boy can dream.

I sat back down, briimming with excitement, and of course that is the moment the waitress decided to come over and ask me if I wanted another drink. High off of my brief soray into the world of soap stardom, I said yes knowing that it was probably going to be a ten dollar drink. I didn't care for much longer because the next thing I knew I was looking at the reception area to see Michal Saucedo, who used to play Juan on General Hospital many years ago, and do we know who he is married to....Rebecca Herbst aka Elizabeth Webber Spencer, one of my all time favorite General Hospital characters. She was there...they were meeting Natalia and Tyler. I couldn't believe that I was seeing GH stars at every turn, and a part of me wanted nothing more then to go to Rebecca Herbst and tell her how much I adored her character. I have a special affection for the character of Elizabeth because her first airdate happened to be the first episode that I watched as a viewer. The storyline in which she got raped, was one of the most heartbreaking that I have watched on GH, and she did a phenomenal job with some very tough material. Of course, I couldn't go over and say any of this to her because she was sitting at a table with two people I had already interrupted. It is one thing to say something to the two of them when they are standing at the bar waiting to be seated, but it is a completely different thing to go over to the four of them as they were enjoying a dinner with friends. I didn't want to disturb them so my encounter with Rebecca was thwarted. It was nice to see her though, and I admit I tried to engage in an accidental bump into as she was exiting the bathroom, but the logistics were not there.

I am thrilled to death that I was able to see some of my GH favorites before I left LA. I have seen celebrities here, and I have seen other soap actors both in LA and NY, but I had yet to see any of my GHers...and tonight I got to talk to Emily and Nikolas and see Elizabeth and Juan. Secretly, I loved the fact that the Tyler, Natalia, and Rebecca were having dinner together.....Nikolas, Emily, and Elizabeht togeher! YAY!

In case you didn't realize it, I am a soap opera fanatic. Soaps are my thing. As much as I love my primetime television, if I had to pick between my soaps or my nighttime shows...I would have to go with my soaps all the way. Shocking....a gay man who loves soap operas. Who would have seen that one comnig?

Line Cutters Will Be Ejected From the Park

This is not a rant about being kicked out of Disney World. This is a rant about a metaphorical line cutter in a metaphorical park. What is this metaphor I speak of? I will tell you. Granted, I did not exit the proverbial closet until I was a senior in high school, but that is long before many people do, and while I did have the occasional girlfriend for appearances sake I never really let those things go beyond a couple of weeks. There may have been the occasional hand holding or kiss on the cheek, but my first kiss was not with a girl. It was with a boy...in the back of a movie theater that was playing Shakespeare In Love, a movie that I had already seen and if you know me I very rarely go see movies that I have already seen. That's right. I was hoping for some makeout action. The reason that I am telling you this is to illustrate the point that I am basically a career homosexual. No, I wasn't telling anyone from the womb that I was gay, but it is apparent to all around that I was gay probably from the moment of conception. I yearned for Barbie dolls and My Little Pony's for god sakes.


I have been at this whole dating boys thing for a while now, and I have yet to really make it work. I have had boyfriends, but for the most part they have all been a disaster, and the ones who don't become my boyfriends, which is most of them, are even worse. It is a string of lunatics and assholes, and I have yet to grasp onto that oh so elusive guy who makes my heart go pitter patter. There is another type of homosexual in the world, though. These are what I like to call the line cutters. These are people who after several years of enjoying a presumably happy heterosexual lifestyle decide that they are going to come out of the closet. Now I would just like to say that I am all for people figuring out who they are and joining the ranks of the gays. The more the merrier is what I say, but these converts are not following the rules. They aren't dating crazy person after crazy person after crazy person after crazy person. One minute they are straight with a boyfriend or girlfriend and the next minute they are gay with a boyfriend or girlfriend. These new gay partners just seem to fall into their laps with no effort while the rest of us who have been toiling away on the give me a damn boyfriend who returns my calls chain gang or sentenced to another two years of servitutde because a line cutter has swooped in and stolen the next guy.

Is the key to finding a boyfriend pretending to be heterosexual for a little while? If this were Disney Land, then the line cutters would be ejected from the park, but apparently this is one line that you can cut. Once again I say I welcome all the individuals who are discovering their true identity. I applaud you for taking that step, but could one of you please give me a call so that you can take the homing beacon I seemed to have had implanted in me that makes the lunatics FLOCK to me, and me flock to them. I mean, seriously, have I not had the beacon long enough. You converts know who you are...your the ones with boyfriends, but when and if that ends come and get my homing beacon. It will certainly give you lots of stories to tell, and then you can start your very own blog and rant and rave about things.

I'm Noticing a Disturbing Trend....

And where is this disturbing trend that I am noticing? It is on General Hospital. It is a subtle trend...one that they use only every few years, but once is more then enough. Let me set the scene for you.....Emily is essentially on her death bed after the onset of meningitis which was a complication of her breast cancer. The prognosis is grm. Her loved ones have come to say goodbye to her, but the one person that she loves the most, Nikolas, cannot be with her because she is married to Zander. Not wanting to be far from Emily, Nikolas lies in the bed in the next room thanks to some strings that Monica has pushed. Nikolas yearns for Emily, and places his hand on the wall. Emily and Nikolas both fall asleep, and have the same exact dream in which Nikolas kisses Emily, bringing her back from the brink of death. They both remember the dream, and attribute Emily's recovery to the power of their love.

Can I vomit in my mouth a little bit? First of all, I hate the couples that are so goddamn lovey dovey and for a long time that is what Emily and Nikolas were. I was forced to watch scene after scene of them yearning for each other, and then once the yearning stopped it was scene after scene of them making out while breathing so heavy I think that they were blowing the camera men over, followed by passionate....and once again I hold the vomit back...love making. Why do these soap opera characters insist on using the term making love? I hate it. I will never ask someone to make love to me. I don't know what I will say when I want to be tender and romantic, but it won't be that. But none of this was as ridiculous to me as Nikolas and Emily having the same dream, and his love bringing her back to life. Were they incapable of coming up with an actual medical explanation? I realize we have to suspend our disbelief when watching television...hell I loved it when Port Charles delved into the world of vampires and angels....but General Hospital has some semblance of realism about it. Therefore, dreamig the same damn dream is out.

Emily and Nikolas have long since broke up because of many factors that made them far more interesting then when they were just in love, but now an epidemic is sweeping through Port Charles and our young hero Dillon has been afflicted with it. He is a freshman in college, and the love of his life, ,Georgie, is a senior in high school. The disease is spreading through the town rapidly, and beecause the cure seems to come from Luke's blood, there isn't a lot of it to go around. Dillon's loved ones begin to fear that he is going to die, and thus Dillon and Georgie decide to get married. Yes, married. I find this to be ridiculous as well, but that is not what this particular rant is about. After much cajoling on the part of Maxie, Mac agrees and in a moment of rare humanity, Tracy agreed to go along with it if Mac gave permission since Georgie is only 17.

They marry, and Dillon takes a turn for the worse. Georgie refuses to leave his side, and gets in the bed with him as he fitfully sleeps. She eventually falls asleep, and what happens.....we are treated to a dream sequence in which Georgie and Dillon are dressed to the wedding nines and married. They have cake, and say vows, and dance. In the final moment of the dream, Georgie tells Dillon to live. He awakes with a start causing Georgie to wake up. Miracle of miracles Dillon's fever has gone down(a good sign for this particular disease...or that is what seems to be what the intrepid medical staff of GH seem to say).....I can't remembere who started to describe the dream first...oh wait it was Georgie. Dillon stops her in astonishment as he realizes that they had the same dream.

What brought Dillon back to life? Georgie's god damn love. I'm all for telling love stories, but these are ridiculous scenarios and the fact that General Hospital has donw this twice, albeit the circumstances are a bit different in each case but essentially the sheer ridiculousness of the circumstances is the same, in less then five years is just ridiculous.

I never want to see this happen again. Come up with another way to bring these people back to life. Give me a medical reason.....give me something other then miraculous cures of the hart, and people united in the same dream. Not acceptable.

Take note producers of General Hospital....take note. Never again.

I'm glad that Emily and Dillon are alive. I'm just not happy how they were kept alive.

Was it a dream?

Thursday night I went out with my friend Erin from high school who was visiting me here in LA as my time in California rapidly and thankfully draws to a close, Elle and later on in the evening her boyfriend Robert, and for a portion of the evening Kristyn and her very cute South African friend Chad.

The going out part, however, is not what I want to tell you about because as fun as it was that was not the surreal part of the evening. I was drunk. Wow, that's a statement that I don't use infrequently. Erin, Elle, Robert, and I were walking back to my apartment. I believe that we stopped in the 7-11. I didn't realize that 7-11 was a West Coast thing until I came to the West Coast. Previous to here I had only seen 7-11's around where I grew up, and I think that I have seen a random one in the city. Regardless, we went there and I think that there may have been something very funny that happened there, but at the moment it eludes me so I will return to telling you about the surreal part of the evening.

Robert, Elle, Erin, and I were standing in the kitchen eating the pasta that we had made for dinner and then proceeded to leave out for four or five hours effectively making it disgusting, but I was drunk and more then willing to eat it anyway, Elle and Erin didn't seem to have any interest in it, and I have no idea what Robert's excuse was but he was chowing down. I don't think he has the drunk card to play so that just must mean he likes old pasta that has been sitting out. I guess everyone has different taste buds. As I stood there shoveling, and when i say shoveling I mean that in every sense of the word-I don't even know why I was bothering to chew it, the pasta in my mouth I heard the meow of a cat outside. Now I know that the next door neighbors have a dog, but I had never seen a cat anywhere in the vicinity. Then I heard it again. No one else seemed to hear it so it just started to look like I was so drunk that I was hallucinating, but lo and behold when I opened the door there was a cat sitting outside of our door, and once I opened the door he pounced his way right in and started to get the lay of the land.

In my drunken state someone probably could have convinced me to keep the cat, but of course that was not a viable option. He did have a collare with a phone number on it so I decided to get down on all fours and attempt to call the number. The fact that the cat would not sit still and the vast amounts of drinks that I had made it rather difficult for me to see the numbers straight. It took a couple of tries before I actually was able to input the phone number into my cell phone, but I managed to do it and get someone's answering machine. I started to leave a message, but a man picked up and very nonchalantly told me that Sox was very friendly and that he just went out for a walk and he would be down to fetch him in a minute. I took this to mean that he lived upstairs from me or something, but I know who all of my neighbors are, and after a few moments I realize that the man had not even asked where it is that I lived. I'm not sure how he expected to find the cat.

In the midst of all of this commotion we thought it would be a good idea to leave the front door wide open, and Sox took that opportunity to go out and continue to explore the Villa Alfredo. He went up the stairs to Danny's apartment, and I followed to find Danny and two women standing in front of his apartment smoking. Danny asked what the fuck I was doing in that way that I know he was being funny but anyone else might have been very taken aback by. It does come off as rather abrasive. I explained the cat situation and he proceeded to tell me how much he hated cats. I then stood between him and Sox to protect the cat from any sort of drunken rage that Danny might fly into. Danny then asked me to do a bump with him for old times sake. I'm not sure in what old times we were doing bumps together, but I declined and he just kept repeating for old times sake. Frankly, it just makes no sense because you say that when you want someone to do something with you that you always did together but weren't going to be doing again for a while or hadn't done in a while, and Danny and I hadn't ever taken bumps together. The old times sake was just inapprorpriate in that instance. Not one to be deterred, Danny then switched to getting me to do a shot for old times sake. Now using old times sake with a shot is appropriate because we have done shots together. I said no no no and then I just gave in and said yes, and that is when I hear Elle calling me to tell me that the owner of Sox was there.

I picked up Sox and headed down the stairs. Sox had been calm as can be in my arms, but when I got down the stairs and started to walk toward the door he began to squirm, and then he lept out of arms once I reached Elle who was standing with Sox's owner who was dressed in a very long, very pink night shirt and no shoes. I was being blinded by the sheer hot pinkness of this shirt that this middle aged man was wearing. I have no idea where he came from or how in the world he figured out that it was our apartment complex that Sox had wandered into. Was this a place that Sox wandered into often? How did I not notice, and how did no one notice that there was a cat who was sneaking into the gate with them? Lots of mysteries surronding this cat, but instead of waiting to find out the answers to these I ran back upstairs to take my shot. As if I needed to take a damn shot, and yet I was all about it.

Somehow, Erin and Elle found their way upstairs to Danny's apartments and were very frightened by him and the two women that were there. The three of them were clearly cracked out, and Elle and Erin seemed to think that I had been lured into the apartment for nefarious purposes. I took my shot and went back downstairs with them, and explained that Danny was very nice but loved his drugs. They were not deterred. The fear and creepiness remained in their eyes, and I had been them I probably would have thought the same thing. Danny is a little creepy....let's be honest here.

There was something very surreal about everything that happened after we got home, and I have weird dreams. If I didn't know that it were reality I might have thought it was a dream that I had. And now I wonder...where is Sox?

How I Love the Gilmore Girls...let me count the ways.

Fine. So I'm not actually going to sit here and count the ways that I love the Gilmore Girls but I am going to rant and rave and laugh and praise and cheer and scold and go through the gamut of emotions about my girls called Gilmore because I do love them so...even when they disappoint me(Lorelai dating Digger anyone!) I stick with them because even in their weakest hour they can bring a smile to my face and a laugh to my throat.

I have to say that I am thrilled beyond belief that Lorelai and Rory have been reunited, and Friday night dinners have been reinstated. It was interesting to see the Gilmores in a fractured state, but it has only made the fact that their relationships are getting back on track all the more satisfying. Lorelai fighting with her parents is always enjoyable, but it is more enjoyable to see her infuriating them in that way that they clearly love, but would never admit. It seems that Richard and Emily are beginning to accept the fact that Lorelai and Luke are for keeps, but in true Gilmore fashion they couldn't welcome him into the family with a hug, but instead through fear mongering tales of insurance fraud that were so convincing they had Lorelai swept up in the fear, and when they were outside finally realizing what had happened to them Lorelai turned to Luke and told him that he had been "Gilmored". LOVED IT! What I do not love is the fact that Luke wanted to postpone the wedding because he found out that he had a daughter. It was too stressful for him. Really? What was stressful? Getting ready to marry the women who is like runaway bride 2.0 when she is in a state of mind to actually not run. Lorelai wants to marry Luke, and even planned the entire wedding. He will have to do nothing but show up so the stressful excuse doesn't fly with me. But Lorelai hasn't really cancelled everything so let's hope that the season ends with a Luke/Lorelai wedding giving us a very married Lorelai for the final season, and maybe a baby by the series finale next May. Just putting it out there.

This week we saw the return of Christopher. Christopher is played by David Sutcliffe, and I love me some David Sutcliffe. I think the man is so hot. I cannot even get over it. I find him irressistible although his hair was a little short this time around, and I could have gone for it to be a bit longer, but he was still yummy nonetheless. I have to say that I really like the fact that he was there to interact with Rory and not be a foil to Luke and Lorelai's relationship. I think that Christopher should definitley have more of a presence on the show, but find him someone else to be romantically paired with other then Lorelai....perhaps the mother of Luke's daughter.....now there is an interesting possibility........

I really seem to be plotting out story for the girls today. They are pretty damn good ideas if I do say so myself. I am just going to end on a note about the heinous previews that the WB supplies for upcoming shows. The preview for this episode of Gilmore Girls CLEARLY wanted us to think that Rory was telling Lorelai that she was pregnant. I mean they couldn't have made it any more obvious if they had written it in the sky, but this astute viewer new that Rory's shocking news was going to be that she moved in with Logan because after being promoted to the editor of the Yale Daily News after Paris's ouster, Paris did a little ouster of her own and booted Rory to the streets. Uhm....Lorelai is well aware that her daughter is doing it all over the place with Logan...and Rory was cavorting around with Dean when he was married. The fact that Rory was forced to move in with Logan because she found herself HOMELESS is less then shocking news.

I'm just saying.

Do straight guys like to kiss a girl when she is wearing lip gloss?

You may have picked up on the subtle hints that I have been giving, but in case you missed it let me just tell you that I am gay. For the most part that means that the people that I date aren't wearing makeup. I am by no means the most masculine guy you are ever going to meet, but there are droves of gay men in the world who are far more feminine then I, and a lot of them wear makeup. Personally, a guy who wears makeup isn't all that atrractive to me.

I want to date a guy, and as effeminate as I may be a guy wearing makeup is a turn off to me. I don't dig it. Once the makeup comes out the odds are that me and the guy are going to be nothig more then friends, but sometimes caution is thrown to the wind and you try something new. Let me just make an observation here: when someone says that they are going to throw caution to the wind, and on many occasion that someone has been me...I'm all about throwing caution to the wind when I have thrown back a couple of vodka tonics.....but as I was saying, when someone says that they are going to throw caution to the wind the wind usually carries the caution right back to them to slap them in the face. Being daring hasn't really worked that well for me, and yet life would not be exciting if we weren't daring, and thus I continue on my adventures. At the very least they give me a lot of funny stories to report back here on my blog.

So last Tuesday evening, I went out with Elle to get some drinks, and ultimately we wound up at Fiesta. Later in the week, I was hanging out with Elle again and I turned to her and told her that it seemed that she was my good luck charm. I always seemed to meet a guy when I was with her. She corrected that statement and replaced herself with Fiesta, because it seems that every time I am there I meet someone. Granted, the two times that I was there with Elle I did meet someone, but I'm inclined to believe the theory that it is indeed Fiesta, and not Elle, that brings the men to me. Look back at my track record...look back at this blog...how many times has a story started off with me going to Fiesta and ended with me wanting to shoo some guy out of my apartment because he was spitting water on my foot or claiming to have a stomach ache. Actually, if we look back at the guys that I met at Fiesta would it really be appropriate to call it a good luck charm? I think a bad luck charm would be a more accurate description, perhaps a plague upon my love life. I only meet people who seemed to have been dropped on their head one too many times as a baby there. I mean, honestly, where did I find these guys. Truth be told more often then not I just go with the flow, and after the evening has ended I tell myself I should have listened to my first instinct and just went home and caught up on General Hospital. Now there is something that never lets me down.

I have strayed very far from my story, but we shall now return to Fiesta. Elle and I were sitting there having drinks when she saw this very well dressed guy sitting next to us, and turned to me and asked if he was on tv. I had never seen the guy in my life so it was a pretty safe bet that he was in fact not on television. Elle being the friendly girl that she is decided to talk to him and find out where she knew him, and can you even guess why he looked familair to her? I don't think that you can. Literally it is one of the more random things that I have heard in my life. He waxed her eyebrows a couple of time. Not to give anything from my story away, but it seems as if I am making a habit of hooking up with the people that are responsible or are going to be responsible or want to be responsible for the hair and beauty treatments that Elle under goes. Is that some sort of new weird fetish that I just made up? As far as fetishes go, I think it would be pretty tame. I also don't think I could get very far with it.

What really started me showing any interest in Armond the eye waxer was the fact that he seemed to show interest in me. I think I have to just admit that I like attention. I probably crave it on some level, because the moment that some guy seems to have an interest in me I will just go along with where the night takes me even if I knew I wasn't going to like him. Yeah I need to learn to not to do that. Armond told me that I looked like Justin Timberlake from the side. I do not know where people come up with this stuff. I do not look like Justin Timberlake from the side nor do I look like Heath Ledger. I got that one too recently. Has anyone seen what those two men look like? As much as I would like to be some sort of hybrid, Ledgirlake if you will, there is no way that I look like either one. Hands down no way. But if someone wants to say it to me that doesn't mean that I won't go along with it.

Frankly, the rest of the evening was less then noteworthy. It was enjoyable, more because I was hanging out with Elle then Armond but he was a very nice guy, There were more drinks and dinner, but frankly if I took you through every step of the evening I think that you would just fall asleep. Setting the scene is one thing, but taking you through the minutae that you just don't need is something completely different. So I fast forward to the end of dinner when Armond asks me if I want to go back to his apartment to watch a movie. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Watch a movie. If you do not know by the age of 15 years old that being invited to someone's house to watch a movie is code for let's hook up then someone needs to give you the guide book. I knew exactly what he wanted, and even in that moment I was so into it but I went along with it anyway. Seriously, I need someone to like hit me on the hand and say no when I do these things. I may need to be conditioned like Pavlov's dogs.

We went to the video store that was by his apartment, which thankfully was walking distance from Fiesta...or is it not so thankfully. The fact that it was walking distance was a major factor in my affirmative answer. If I had had to go through the effort of getting into a car with him I don't think that I would have accepted the invitation. Damn West Hollywood and its oh so convenient apartment to bar proximity. Armond decided to rent In Her Shoes and Just Like Heaven. Two movies that I own and immensely enjoy, and already I was more excited about the movies then I was about going home with Armond. When a gay man is more interested in spending an evening with Toni Collete, Cameron Diaz, and Shirley McClaine instead of a cute boy that wants to hook up then you know the spark is not there. Hell it will never be there. I think I would have been more attracted to Shirley McClaine. Fine that is a lie, but my point is made.

We went back to his apartment, and he started In Her Shoes. I knew that we weren't going to make it very far into the movie before he made a move on me, but I thought that if I just watched the movie and only gave him the occasional glance he would get the idea that the more I was allowed to think about the situation and the less that the vodka was helping me do the thinking the more I wanted to not be there. Wrong. I don't even think Cameron Diaz had found her job at the dog washing place by the time Armond was on top of me. Yes, he climbed on top of me, moved in for the kill, and I just let my lips take over.......and then I hit reverse. His lips were slathered in lip gloss. It felt like I was kissing something very gooey. I don't like moistness or stickiness or any of that sort of thing so my lips being met with what felt like slime was not fun for me. Any inclination I had to even give this a try was lost. Armond could see that the lip gloss was completely repulsing me so he went to wipe it off, but by that point it was too late. I tried to get back into it, but I had never really been in the zone so I had to bring it to an end and make a retreat. Yes, I disappointed Armond, but better that then lead him on.

This brings me back to my original question of straight guys and lip gloss. Is it that I am just unaccustomed to kissing someone who has product on their lips, and since most of my early kisses were with boys I never got the experience. Is that since I am gay I expect to get lips that are product free, and straight men have a mechanism that prepares them for the onslaught of gook. I don't know. All I know is that the next guy who likes me and wears lips gloss is going to have to be immediately let down, because I just don't think it is very nice to kiss someone and then immediately wipe my lips because I hate the sensation of anything on them. I'm talking I don't even like to use chapstick because I find it to be icky. Yes people.....if I don't want chapstick on my lips, then Sephora lip gloss for women on a man is out of the question.

R.I.P. Tony Jones(Fictional Character...there has been no actual death in my circle)

I'm going to admit. I just watched Thursday and Friday's episodes of General Hospital, and there was all sorts of good stuff going on. Tony Jones died. This is not good in the lighthearted comedic sort of way, but I love love love when my soap operas make me cry. It is cathartic. As the life slowly oozed out of Tony and he said goodbye to Lucas, Bobbie, and Luke there were tears forming in my eyes. Granted, General Hospital has sidelined Tony and Bobbie majorly over the past few years, but hopefully Tony's death and Lucas's coming out will re-energize Bobbie's storyline, plus with the return of Dr. Noah Drake maybe they can give Bobbie a little loving in the afternoon.

Why do I love Laura Wright as Carly so? She is so fun and feisty, and yet she has it together. They seem to really be bringing out the Spencer in this incarnation of Carly, and I LOVE IT! When Carly referred to Lucky as her cousin and had such concern for him I was doing some jumping up and down for joy(actually I am exhausted, and the jumping up and down was more metaphorical then anything else). Carly is a Spencer with a lot of family on the canvas, but they seemed to have forgotten that in the past few years. Keep Carly spencerfied, and get her away from Sonny. Laura Wright's Carly has yet to be tainted by the plague that is Sonny and Carly, and let's keep it that way. Put her with Jason or Patrick, but just keep her away from Sonny.

Speaking of Sonny, it is my belief that he ruins characters that I once held near and dear to my heart. Currently, he is destroying Emily. He is turning Emily into one of those characters that I want to straight up kick and the teeth. That may be a harsh reaction, but for the love of God if I have to see Emily profess her love and desire to be with Sonny one more time I am going to throw up in my mouth. I could care less if Sonny and Emily have sex or go to the zoo. Why does everyone love Sonny so much? Send him to jail, have him gunned down in a mob war, or have him join the god damn circus. I could care less. Just get rid of him. Now I realize that every soap viewer that exists loves loves loves Sonny, so he will be on that show till he chooses not to(This is not to say that Maurice Bernard isn't a talented and lovely man...I just cannot stand the character of Sonny Corinthos.)

Next week it seems that Courtney is going to die. She is much more central to the canvas, so there should be more tears surronding her death. Fingers crossed for some sobbing. I'm not kidding. I want Courtney's death to make me ball........the last good cry I had at my soap was when Carly, as played by Tamara Braun, was told that Michael was dead and then proceeded to have a funeral for him. That was some gut wrenching stuff......

And another thing...who are Sam's parents? Is she a Cassadaine? Is she Robert and Holly's child? Is she Luke and Holly's child? I mean there is potential for lots of drama with all of it...personally I'm rooting for Sam to be a Cassadine, but something tells me that Emma Samm's return as Holly has something to do with her being Sam's mother. Just a hunch.

Arthur and Robert

As a gay man myself, I understand the concept of meeting a really fun and cool girl, and developing a non-sexual crush on her. I've done it many times myself, but there are limits to the depth of this devotion because whether it is sexual or not when you like someone too much too fast it can be a little bit off putting.

This brings me to Arthur and Robert, two thirty-something gay men that Kristyn, Elle, and I met when we were at O Bar. They were nice enough guys, and they clearly had money but had I met them on my own I probably would have forgotten about them to be perfectly honest. They didn't really stick out in my mind, but the two of them fell in love with Kristyn. I think that it was love at first sight. Numbers were exchanged and we proceeded to leave O Bar, and they proceeded to call Kristyn three or four times over the course of that evening. Why were they calling her? I'm not exactly sure but I think it was for no other reason then to tell her how wonderful she is. Don't get me wrong, Kristyn is wonderful, but it was a bit odd that these two could not stop calling her to tell her how much they liked her and wanted to hang out with her.

Over the course of the next couple of days they continued to call Kristyn. They could not get enough of her, and it finally culminated in a lunch date at Joey's Cafe on Saturday afternoon, which I attended. Ok...these dudes were calling her and texting her up to the minute that we got there. One of them texted her ten minutes before we got there to say see you in ten minutes. Are you kidding me? This is getting to be a bit out of hand. There are times when I am very excited to see someone and I just cannot wait to hang out with them, but I do not go as far as to text them ten minutes before I am going to see them. It just seems unneccesary to me. Do we need to be in that much contact that we know when we are going to see someone down to the minute. Let's keep a little mystery in life with that two or three minute window of lateness. I don't want to know that you are going to be there at 1:53pm, tell me 1:50pm and just roll with being three minutes late. I can deal.

I was fairly silent during this lunch, oh I had my moments of interjection but for the most part I was in my own world for whatever reason. These two could not get enough of Kristyn. They were hanging on every word that she said, and the lunch seemed to last a long time.

Later in the day after we had parted ways we wound up running into them sitting at Starbucks as we walked to Trader Joe's to get some wine...that's right we were going to have some 4pm wine to get us primed and ready for the evening ahead of us. What were Arthur and Robert doing as they sat at the Starbucks? Discussing the plane tickets that they were going to buy when they came in a month to Kristyn's birthday party. I wish that I had the type of funds to just decide to fly across the country for a girl's birthday party that I had known for four days. Listen, if they have the means to do that then more power to them, but damn. You realize that if someone you were dating started moving this fast you would get freaked out? It just would not be acceptable. You cannot behave this way when you are starting to date someone, but the speeds do tend to be different with friendships. Now that I think about it you can get very close with a friend very fast, and no one sees it as weird, but if some guy were to be booking a flight to my birthday party after knowing me for four days....

Hell to the no. That's all that I'm saying. But if some cute and fun girl were to do the same thing, then I imagine that I would be down with it. It's a thin line between friend and lover....what does that even mean? I'll tell you what it means...it is Brian trying to be clever with his ending, and having nothing says something that makes no sense, but then I call myself out on it. :)

Sami Brady

Last Monday I stumbled into bootcamp weary eyed as usual. I've started going to the 7:45am class, and for some reason in that class Barry makes the woman run for an hour on Mondays, and it is just an hour of arms and triceps for the guys. I'm not a muscle guy, anyone who looks at me can realize that, and I know that I hold all of my weight in my mid-section so that means that I need me some cardio, and I bet if I said to Barry that I really wanted to do cardio he would let me run on that treadmill with the women, but do I speak up and say that. Of course not, because as much as I know that I need to do the cardio and get on that treadmill I am elated to not have to. I hate running on the treadmill. I mean I hate it more then I hate anything else. I know that a lot of pushing myself on the treadmill is mind over matter, but that matter wants to stay on top. I can't get to mind over matter because of the pain. I like riding the stationary bike better, I can push myself and it is not the abhorrent act of running on the treadmill. Yes, I said abhorrent and I meant it.

None of that has to do with Sami Brady. So I was sitting on the bench waiting for the earlier class to end, and the disgusting waves of heat that emanate from the room were wafting into the lobby, and the nastiness started to rise in my throat. When those waves of heat and sweat come at you in that waiting room, it is vomitacious. Yes, vomitacious. It is suffocating when you are in there, and vomitacious when it attacks you as an observor. I usually like to watch to see what is going on at the end of the earlier class to get a vague idea of what is going to happen in my class even though it isn't neccesarily an indication. The vomitacious wave hit me, and I turned my head to see a cute, short blond signing in, and when she turned her head I saw it. It was Alison Sweeney aka Sami Brady of Days of Our Lives.

I have seen stars, and many of them, in both Los Angeles and NYC, but there is something about seeing a soap star. I love soap operas to such an extent, that I become a star struck fan when I see them. It is as if I can hardly believe that they are standing there. I think that it has something to do with the fact that we watch them everyday. It is different then watching a weekly series that has re-runs and hiatuses and gets cancelled. Soap operas just keep going and going and going, and often characters and the actors who play them are there for years and years and years. There is an attachment, and even though Days of Our Lives isn't my soap it is still a soap.

I know that they are just people, and I shouldn't think of them as any different, but it was Sami Brady. That is an iconic soap character. So when she jumped off the treadmill, leaving it running, and went into the lobby to catch her breath and get some air I saw my moment. As she walked back into the room, and walked past me I lept up from the push-ups that I was doing, and whispered in her ear that that Barry doesn't like it when people leave the machines running when they aren't on them.

She said a polite thank you, and went back on her treadmill. I think that she knew that shew wasn't supposed to leave it on and just didn't care. I also don't think that she appreciated the bit of advice that I gave her. Frankly, I don't care. It was Sami Brady, and I had to say something to her. Even if it was something as lame as turn off your treadmill when you jump off of it.

She may have been back on one of the days that I haven't been there, but a week has gonen by and I have gone four times and not seen her. Now if someone from General Hospital walked into that room I am not sure what I would do. Watch out.